


An Unexpected Journey

by DioFahrenheit



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Catra goes on a journey, F/F, Not that dark I promise, PTSD, Violence/death, catradora, character stuff, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 57,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28536789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DioFahrenheit/pseuds/DioFahrenheit
Summary: It has been two years since Horde Prime's defeat, and Catra has come a long way. But she's still uneasy, and still finds it difficult to settle into a comfortable life she isn't sure she deserves. To take the edge off and take some time to think, she takes an assignment in the Crimson Wastes, and ends up being saddled with a responsibility she never expected. Trapped alone in the wastes with a child, with Adora and Glimmer tracking her, Catra has to survive a long, hellish trek back to civilization, made no easier by a new gang of territorial lizardfolk.Catradora, Catra-centric fic. Post-canon, character driven.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 132
Kudos: 288





	1. Uneasiness

Two years. It had been two whole years since Prime’s fall. As Catra stared out into the distance, leaned on the balcony railing of her room in Brightmoon castle, it felt a little unreal. It always did at times like this, when she stopped to reflect.  
Two years and a few months ago, she wouldn’t have imagined this in her wildest dreams. At that time, she hadn’t had much of a future. Now… now she had everything. More than she could ever have asked for. For somebody used to having very little, it got a little overwhelming sometimes.

Quite a lot had happened in that time. She had let her hair grow out, covering up the scar of the chip at the back of her neck. The Great Reconstruction had begun, the princess alliance shifting its attention from military matters to engineering and building. Salineas was already mostly rebuilt, from what Catra could tell. Prime’s remaining clones had been dealt with, most of them choosing to integrate into society just as Wrong Hordak had.  
And Catra… Catra had had a long, rough adjustment period. The trauma of her past life- and it was a past life in many ways; sometimes it felt like all of those things had happened to somebody else, like it were a dream- had never really left her. Being openly and unconditionally loved had been as frightening as it was wonderful, and she had nearly thrown it all away several times. If it hadn’t been for Perfuma’s therapy sessions, Catra wondered where she would have wound up.  
But Adora had been patient with her. Very patient. It sometimes made Catra angry, how much she was willing to put up with. _She deserves better_ was a thought that had taken a lot of effort to overcome, and it still haunted her sometimes. 

Two years. Two years of getting to know her, getting to know the person Adora had become. Two years of having lunch together, going on hikes together, sparring together, of just doing all the small things couples did together. Just lying still together in bed at night, talking like they used to back in the Horde’s barracks… only now there was no Shadow Weaver to forcefully whip them out of their beds at dawn, no war to be fought, just… freedom.  
That last part always made her restless. Catra didn’t miss the person she used to be, but she _did_ miss the sense of purpose. Twisted and evil as it had been, she had at least been sure of her place then. She had known where she was going, what she needed to do to get there…

She shook her head, dismissing the thought. That was not a time anyone should want to go back to. Still, her general restlessness had to have been obvious, because both Adora and Glimmer seemed to have noticed. Adora would drop what she probably thought were subtle hints that Catra should find something to do with her time. Glimmer had flat out offered her a job in Brightmoon’s military.  
Catra had taken it, albeit hesitantly. Once a Force Captain, she was now a Bright Captain, nominally in charge of training new recruits. Not that they had many of them these days- it was an occupation in name only, for the most part. 

”Catra.”

Adora’s voice, clear and cheery, was enough to bring Catra out of her reveries. Feeling playful, she pretended not to hear at first, although she knew her ears had already given her away; they had perked up the moment she heard that voice. 

”Come on, Catra,” said Adora, stepping out toward the balcony, ”I know you heard me.” 

Catra turned around, casually resting on her elbows against the railing, leaning in toward them just far enough that she knew Adora would worry a little. She smiled, couldn’t help but smile. Adora had that effect on her.  
”What?” said Catra, ”I was lost in thought. We can’t all be stuck in meetings all day long.”

As Adora walked up to join her by the railing, placing a hand on Catra’s shoulder- there was that little tinge of worry in Adora that Catra couldn’t help but tease out every time- she drank in the sight of her girlfriend.  
She would wear _dresses_ these days, at least whenever she wasn’t doing anything that required more practical clothing. Catra had found the concept ridiculous until she really saw Adora in a dress and realized that she still looked good in them- not that she was going to admit it. 

”Come on, that’s not fair,” Adora chided her gently, ”you were invited too, you know.”

”Well, I’m not The She-Ra, Princess of Power,” said Catra, sticking out her tongue, ”and that means I can skip a boring meeting here or there. What was it today, the committee on party hats?”

”The committee on a stimulus package for some of the villages still recovering from the Horde’s occupation,” Adora muttered, ”It’s as exciting as it sounds, I know.”

”Told you,” Catra said with a snort.

”You shouldn’t joke about it, you know. A lot of people are still hurt.”

”I… I didn’t mean it like that,” Catra said quickly. She felt a stab of guilt. It hadn’t been an accident that she missed the meeting. There were a lot of people Catra didn’t want to look in the eye, a lot of people who would look at her with terror in their eyes. 

”I know you didn’t,” said Adora, her hand squeezing Catra’s shoulder reassuringly. ”Come on. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, knowing Adora would insist, Catra looked her in the eye.

”What?”

”You were doing that thing,” said Adora.

”When you say ’that thing’, it can mean almost anything. You know that, right?”

”That thing where you were starting to blame yourself for everything without telling me. That thing.”

Adora’s tone was mild, almost cheery, but Catra knew she was being chided. Why did she have to know Catra so well?

”Yeah, well,” she muttered, ”maybe sometimes I deserve it.”

”Don’t be like that,” said Adora, sliding an arm around Catra’s waist. Catra felt herself relaxing at her touch.  
”You have to stop-”

”Yeah, yeah, ” Catra cut her off, ”I know, I know. I need to go easier on myself, I need to forgive myself and all that crap…”

”You do.”

”I’m doing better, okay?” said Catra. With anyone else, there might have been an edge to her tone, a bit of defensiveness, but Adora had a way of smoothing her edges out. ”I still feel guilty, but… yeah. Talks with Perfuma and all that. It’s working, sorta.”  
Even now, even with Adora, it was hard to talk about. She _had_ done her best. She had helped with the reconstruction. She had gone to therapy to sort herself out. It was just that… it was a long process, and a lot of shame and frustration to work through. She knew problems like these wouldn’t work themselves out quickly, but she kept on wishing they would. She wished she wouldn’t have to wake up from nightmares about Prime. She wished she wouldn’t have to feel like shit about herself every time she was reminded of what she’d done. But if wishes were horses…

”Anyway,” Catra continued, eager to change the subject, ”you don’t need to worry about it. I _know_. So… don’t worry about it, okay?”

”You know,” said Adora gently, ”you could do something about it. You’re getting restless, and you know it. You’re the kind of person who needs something to do with her time. There are so many things you could do.”

”This again?”

”We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But…”

”It’s fine. So, ’but’?”

”But, you’re driving yourself crazy just hanging around the castle. The meetings I go to are pretty boring, but at least they keep me busy.”

”I’m a slacker, is that it?” Catra chuckled, and Adora shot her a smile.

”You’re my slacker. But seriously, you’ve lounged around doing… not a whole lot the last few months.”

”So?” said Catra with a shrug, ”I get to spend more time with you. I see that as a complete win.”

”About that…”

Catra’s ears perked up a little. About what?

”I’ve been thinking a little about that, and…”

”Come on Adora, spit it out,” said Catra with a snort, ”I can tell when you’re dancing around something.”

Adora sighed and took a deep breath.  
”You know I love spending time with you.”

”Obviously,” said Catra, a little smugly. 

”It’s just that sometimes… I mean, I guess you can have too much of a good thing?”

”What do you mean?” Catra’s eyes narrowed. 

”I mean that we’re always together, all of the time. Unless I’m in a meeting, you’re always there, all the time. Sometimes… sometimes, I guess it’d be nice to have a little more… space?”

”Adora,” said Catra, her tone suddenly tensing, ”if you don’t want me here, just say so.”

Sometimes, Catra felt like she had come a long way. Sometimes, she felt like she had made a lot of progress. And sometimes, she felt like she hadn’t changed at all. All it took was just one innocent comment, and every old self-loathing thought had come back to her.  
_One of these days, she’ll realize she’s too good for you. She’ll never want you like you want her. You’re not good enough, and you never will be._

”You know that wasn’t what I meant!” Adora cried, hurt apparent in her voice, ”It’s always like this, I- I can’t talk to you sometimes, it’s like treading on eggshells!”

And now, she hurt Adora. Great. A second wave of anger and self-loathing came at her. _Look what you did. You always ruin things. You should just go, and let her find somebody else._  
No. Stop. She was better than that. Catra stood up and took a deep breath.

”Look,” she said, keeping her tone level and restrained, ”let me just say how I feel, okay?”

“Fine.”

“I’m angry. Mostly at myself. A little bit at you, even though it’s not fair. So I… I think I’ll just go for now.”

“Catra…”

“I’ll go because I don’t want to say something stupid that’ll make things worse,” Catra clarified, sighing, “sorry. It was just… a sore spot, I guess.”

“…I understand,” said Adora.

_You always do. That’s the problem._

“I’ll see you around in a little bit, okay?” said Catra. Adora nodded, and Catra walked out, feeling frustrated. 

Adora watched her leave, then slumped into a chair, no less frustrated herself. Catra had always put up a strong front, her entire life. Now that she had learned to open up more, she could be surprisingly frail sometimes. No- brittle. Hard on the outside, always ready to deflect with a joke, but prone to breaking.  
Adora had heard relationships were supposed to be hard, and well, Catra had lived up to that reputation. Adora looked forward to seeing her every day that she was busy. She loved waking up next to her, loved the way she’d tease and joke. She just wished…

Well, wishing was pointless. Besides, even as the disappointment of Catra’s sudden exit washed over her, she felt a little proud. There had been a time when she wouldn’t even have let Adora know what had gone wrong, only to apologize three days later in a roundabout way. The fact that she had managed to say what was wrong right away was progress.  
Maybe one day they could solve these things without her having to run off. 

*********************************

Her mood ruined, Catra went for a run. Something about just working her muscles until they ached, focusing her mind on one repetitive task really soothed her mind. It was a coping mechanism- another term she had learned from Perfuma- but at least it wasn’t unhealthy. At least now she was just running, as opposed to _running away_. Because when she was done running, she’d have calmed down a bit, and then she’d… go back.  
Trying to shove away the usual negative thoughts, Catra tried to think. Why _did_ she put up with this? Catra wouldn’t.  
_Because she loves you._

Well, obviously. And Catra loved her back. Shouldn’t that be enough?

_Nope._

Still, she could do something about it. No, she would do something about it. That was the hard part- not giving up, even when you felt like the worst person in the world. Finding a way forward, in whatever way you could. And she had an idea already…  
After doing a few laps around Brightmoon, when she was good and sweaty and started to feel tired, Catra slowed her jog to a walk and headed back. She didn’t head back to her and Adora’s room, though. Not yet.

_Not running away,_ she reminded herself, _there’s a point to this._

__********************_ _

__Glimmer was surprised to see Catra walk in through her door. The council room was empty; it was getting late and all things considered, it had been a pretty productive day. It would have been fine to retire, but Glimmer had lingered. She hadn’t expected company.  
She looked… disheveled. A little messy. Her thick hair was damp with sweat._ _

__“Hi, Catra,” said Glimmer, leaning back in her chair, “we missed you today.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah…” Catra said dismissively, in the tone of definitely-not-caring that Glimmer had learned meant ‘guilt’.  
“Actually, Sparkles…” Catra continued, before Glimmer could retort, “I wanted to ask you something.”_ _

__“What’s that?”  
This was rare. Catra rarely asked for anything. Glimmer felt like teasing her about it, but something about the sound of her voice made the queen hold back._ _

__“…you got anything for me to do?”_ _

__Glimmer blinked.  
“You _do_ have a job, you know.”_ _

__“Yeah, training recruits we don’t have,” Catra snorted, “I’m going crazy up in here. I need to get out of Brightmoon for a while. Got any errands we need to run, or something?”_ _

__“Things have been pretty quiet the last year,” Glimmer said thoughtfully, trying to come up with something, “I take it Adora finally got through to you?”_ _

__“…yeah,” Catra muttered, folding her ears down._ _

__“Is everything okay?”_ _

__“We had a fight,” Catra said dismissively, “if you can call it that. It’s mostly me being stupid. I do that, you know?”_ _

__“Well…” said Glimmer, “there is one thing. Probably nothing too important.”_ _

__“I don’t care,” said Catra, “I’m just looking to get out a bit, clear my head, and I don’t want it to look like I was trying to get away from something.”_ _

__“Are you?”_ _

__“…no,” said Catra after a pause, “more like I need time to think. And if I can do that on official business, then it’s two birds with one stone, right?”_ _

__“Hmm,” said Glimmer, deciding she believed Catra, “well, there’s something going on in the Crimson Wastes.”_ _

__“The wastes, huh? Any details?”_ _

__“That’s just it- not a lot of details. Last time we spoke, Huntara told me there was some type of new gang on the rise. It’s been a couple months since then. It hasn’t been high on my priority list, but I’ve been meaning to look into it.”_ _

__“And my job would be what, exactly?”  
Catra sounded casual, but Glimmer could tell she was interested. She seemed to have an affinity for the wastes, in all its harsh glory. _ _

__“Just reconnaissance. Link up with Huntara, get the lay of the land, and I’ll teleport you back a day later.”_ _

__Catra pretended to think about it for a second, before nodding.  
“…yeah, sure. The wastes. I could do that. I’d just be there for a couple days?”_ _

__“At most,” said Glimmer. She could of course have teleported right there to ask Huntara in person, but she had a lot on her plate, and besides, the idea was to give Catra something to do._ _

__“Sure. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that,” said Catra in a casual kind of tone, as if she hadn’t just asked for the assignment. Glimmer resisted the urge to roll her eyes._ _

__“Good,” said Glimmer approvingly, “first thing in the morning tomorrow?”_ _

__*************************_ _

__After taking a quick shower to freshen up a little- and it was quick; some things about Catra hadn’t changed at all, and her loathing for being wet was one of them- Catra headed back to her room. Their room.  
Adora was lounging on the bed, having stripped down to her underwear and a simple shirt. She was reading a book, but the moment Catra stepped in she sat upright, her face lighting up._ _

__“Hey, Adora,” said Catra. She didn’t need to fake the happiness in her voice. Even when things were tense between them, she was always glad to see her on one level or another._ _

__“Hey,” said Adora. “So… how are you doing now?”_ _

__Catra slumped down on the bed, half lying next to Adora, propped up on one elbow.  
“I’m good.”_ _

__“Look, I’m sorry about before-“_ _

__Catra sighed irritably.  
“Adora, stop.”  
_Careful now. We started off good. Don’t ruin it.__ _

__“What do you mean?” said Adora confusedly._ _

__“You shouldn’t do this,” said Catra, gently taking Adora’s hand, squeezing it, “taking the blame even when you shouldn’t. I… it was me. I overreacted. You shouldn’t be apologizing for that.”_ _

__Adora squeezed back, and paused for a little while.  
“I just wanted to talk. I didn’t mean for you to get…”_ _

__“That’s not wrong,” said Catra reassuringly, “if you have a problem, you should be able to talk to me about it without me blowing up on you. I’m just… I dunno, I’m still a bit prickly. I guess deep down…”_ _

__“Yes?” said Adora intently. She looked so earnestly invested, and Catra still found it a little off-putting, to have somebody care so much about her and what she felt._ _

__“I… I still sometimes feel like it’s all too good to be true, you know?” Catra muttered, lying back and staring into the ceiling. Maybe one day she wouldn’t look away when she talked about things like this, but for now it was easier this way. Baring herself completely, even for Adora, still took effort.  
“Like one day I’ll wake up and it’ll all be gone. Like um, one day you’ll realize you deserve better. I _know_ you wouldn’t do that,” she said hastily, before Adora could launch into a set of reassurances, “but I still feel it. Deep down, I don’t think I deserve all these things. I still feel like I’m not a good person.”_ _

__“You do deserve them,” said Adora softly. She slid in closer, and Catra felt the warmth of her body pressed up against her own.  
“You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a good life.”_ _

__“I… sure,” said Catra. She felt a little lost, like she always did. What did you even say to that?_ _

__“Say it,” Adora demanded, gently._ _

__“Adora-“_ _

__“Say it.”_ _

__“I… deserve to be happy?”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__“And I deserve to have nice things, I _guess_ ,” Catra scoffed. There was mockery in her tone, but it melted away quickly. It was easy to hide behind sarcasm, with everyone but her. _ _

__“Was that so hard?” said Adora. Catra turned to look at her, finally, and felt a jolt of elation just looking at her face. With a little smile, Adora slid closer still, putting an arm around Catra’s waist. This part she understood, at least. Just being close to her, just being was one of the few things that made perfect sense to Catra._ _

__“Kinda,” Catra admitted, smiling back, “but, you know… it gets better. Thanks to you and Perfuma.”_ _

__“And thanks to you,” Adora said firmly._ _

__“Yeah, yeah…” Catra said, chuckling._ _

__They lay still like that for a little while, Adora letting her head rest on Catra’s chest, while Catra gently stroked her hair._ _

__“So…” said Catra reluctantly, unwilling to break the moment, “I wanted to mention something.”_ _

__“Mhm?” said Adora, sounding like she was if not drifting off to sleep, then at least very relaxed._ _

__“I talked to Glimmer, and… I’m going to head out to the Crimson Waste for a couple days. To link up with Huntara about some gang, or something.”_ _

__Adora suddenly opened her eyes, halfway sitting up.  
“Is this about earlier?”_ _

__“…sort of, yeah,” Catra said, nodding, “I think you were right-“_ _

__“Look, you know I don’t want you to go, right?” said Adora, and there was something about the concern in her voice, how the words came out faster than usual…  
“So just um- just uh… you don’t need to go, so-“_ _

__“Adora, stop,” Catra said firmly, “you were right. I’m not doing a lot right now, and it’s driving me crazy. I think a couple days away to think will do me some good.”_ _

__“Catra…”_ _

__Catra sat up, puzzled. Why was she so… she sounded _scared?__ _

__“Adora, what’s going on? It’s just the Crimson Wastes. I can take care of myself.”_ _

__“I don’t know, um,” said Adora, shaking her head, “I just think- I think-“_ _

__“Adora, I’m not mad about before. I told you, I overreacted.”_ _

__“It’s just…” Adora shook her head. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”_ _

__“Oh no,” Catra said firmly, “if I have to open up when something’s bothering me, you do too. Spill it.”_ _

__“Well… it’s just that last time you went there, you really seemed to like it,” Adora said hesitantly._ _

__“Adora, I’m not _leaving_.”  
Catra felt a little surprised. Adora was the strong one, the stable one, and she tended to forget that she had her fears too._ _

__“I know…” Adora muttered._ _

__“Say it.”_ _

__“You’re not leaving. You’re coming back.”_ _

__“Damn right,” said Catra, planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead, “I’d rather die.”_ _

__“But it isn’t _just_ the Crimson Wastes,” Adora chided her, “it’s a dangerous place, and going there alone… something could go wrong, and then what would you do?”_ _

__“Don’t worry,” said Catra dismissively, “I’ll have one of those tracker pads. One of Entrapta’s latest. Got a distress beacon and everything. If things get out of hand, I’ll send out a signal and you and Sparkles can come get me just like that.”_ _

__“Two days…” said Adora skeptically._ _

__“No fighting unless I have to,” said Catra, rolling her eyes a little, “just to talk to Huntara. Then, I’m out of there.”_ _

__“And nothing else?”_ _

__“Nothing else.”_ _

__“You’re sure this isn’t about-“_ _

__“I just need to think, that’s all,” said Catra, cutting her off, “about… I dunno, what to do next. And,” she said, raising a hand and flexing her claws, “if somebody came looking for trouble, I’m sure that would be fun too.”  
Seeing the look on Adora’s face she added,  
“For me. Not for them. Because I’d beat the shit out of them without getting a scratch.”_ _

__“That doesn’t make me feel better about it,” Adora muttered._ _

__Catra leaned in close.  
“Two days, then I’ll be back. Got it?”_ _

__“Alright… but on one condition.”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Kiss me.”_ _

__Catra rolled her eyes, smiling._ _

__“ _Fine_ , dummy.”  
She leaned in and kissed her, chastely at first. Then, when Adora wrapped her arms around her, it quickly became more passionate. _ _

___Two days_ , Catra thought to herself, _just two days. I really should get some good sleep first.__ _

__Or not. Screw it, it was worth it._ _

__***************_ _

__

__...Alright then! This is my first attempt at an SPOP fic, so please let me know what you guys thought. I'll be posting one chapter a week until it's done._ _


	2. Responsibility

Catra yawned. She was not a morning person and she never would be; not even a whole childhood’s worth of being raised in a military academy had changed that. Still, she had managed to not destroy her alarm clock and had got up on time. Adora was still asleep, but rather than wake her, Catra leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead. For a second she wanted to wake her, but decided to let her sleep. She’d be fine without her.  
In her groggy, near zombie-like state, Catra dressed while mentally preparing herself for the day. Tying her hair up in a ponytail, she took a quick look in the person-sized mirror they kept in their room.  
She had opted for a simple brown jacket to go with her black pants. Not stylish, but it was durable, and the wastes favoured the former more than the latter. She wore black leather boots. There was a change; she had gone through her entire life without anything but the most minimal footwear, and now she wore… boots. She had ruined more than a few pairs by unsheathing her claws without thinking.  
The person looking back at her was familiar, but still very different from what she had been used to for so long. A new image, but the same old self…  
_Enough,_ she thought irritably, _it’s way too early to start thinking about stuff like that. We can go back to self-loathing and insecurity once I’ve had breakfast._

On her way to the kitchen, she was joined by Melog. The feline construct walked alongside her in silence.

“What?” Catra muttered, “you’ve got something to say?”

 _“How did you know?”_  
As usual, the creature’s words were spoken right into her head; no actual sound was made. It had taken some getting used to, but by now it would shock Catra to hear anything else.

“You always have some polite phrase for me when everything is normal,” Catra said, yawning again, “and you keep quiet when you actually want to say something you think matters.”

_“I’ve become predictable.”_

“No, I just learned how to read you,” Catra murmured, “which makes you predictable to me, I guess. But that’s not a bad thing, is it?”

_“I suppose not.”_

“So what is it?” 

_“You know I give you and Adora your privacy-“_

“You listened in,” Catra muttered, “of course you did.”

_“It is hard not to, sometimes. My senses are… quite keen. I apologize.”_

“No, no, it’s fine,” Catra said dismissively, “if somebody’s going to spy on me, it might as well be you. I trust you.”

_“That is appreciated.”_

Catra nodded.  
“You got it. So, are you here to talk me out of going to the wastes too?”

_“It is quite dangerous.”_

Catra rolled her eyes.  
“I swear, sometimes I think you and Adora think I’m made of wet paper tissue, or something. I can take care of myself.”

_“I was hoping to come along with you, actually.”_

Catra stopped her walk, looking Melog in the eye.

_“Where you go, I go. I will support you no matter where you go.”_

“…thank you, Melog,” said Catra earnestly. To have somebody who trusted you always was nice. Adora… Adora loved her, and Catra knew she was just concerned for her safety, but she could be overprotective sometimes.

_“It is settled, then.”_

“Actually…” said Catra hesitantly, “I think I’ll go just by myself.”

Melog cocked his head, the question so apparent that it didn’t even need to be spoken.

“Look,” Catra said with a sigh, “I need a little time to figure a few things out. Just by myself. Right now, I don’t need company, I just need… to be me, I guess, away from everyone else. I don’t know- maybe it’s stupid, but I feel like just going walkabout for a little bit. I want to think. I’ve done a lot of talking about how I feel lately, and it hasn’t made me less restless. I… I don’t know where I stand right now, or what to do with myself. I’m not comfortable where I am, and I’m not sure what I need to do to move forward. I can fix it, but not as is. So I figured a little time to myself is what I need. You know?”

Melog paused for a second to take it in. Then, he nodded.  
_“If you are sure.”_ ¨

“I’ll come back soon.”

_“I am sure you will. I will miss you.”_

“Me too, buddy,” Catra mumbled through another yawn, affectionately patting the cat’s head. 

**************************

After a brief breakfast, Catra met up with Glimmer, right on time. After assembling everything she’d need for a short trek in the wastes- a satchel with food and water, a first aid kit, a few little tools, the tracker pad, and a cloak to protect her from the wind- off they went. Catra took Glimmer’s hand, braced herself, and the next moment there was a stiff, dry breeze whipping against her face. Catra sank to her knees, fighting the wave of nausea that came with each teleportation.

“Are you okay?” said Glimmer, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Mhm!” Catra said, nodding her head and taking a few deep breaths, before standing up on shaky legs. “Trust me Sparkles, I knew what I was getting into. Beats walking through the wastes for weeks. It’s not like you can just drive in here.”

“Well,” said Glimmer, “the Bonehead Bar should be to the northeast of here, about half a day’s walk away. Huntara will meet you there tonight.”

“Sure,” said Catra, “I made it there once before. I’ll find my way. Just a bit of a walk, link up with Huntara, maybe do a bit of recon while we’re there.”

“That’s the plan,” said Glimmer, “and remember, if anything goes wrong-“

“I’ll use the beacon, sure,” said Catra. “I got this.”

“Okay then,” said Glimmer, “I’ll see you tomorrow night, then. I’ll pick you up at the bar, or wherever your signal goes off.”

Catra nodded. Glimmer gave her a reassuring thumbs up, and then just like that she was gone. Catra looked into the distance, breathed in, and started walking.  
It took perhaps an hour before she started regretting coming here. It wasn’t the landscape’s harsh nature, not the heat of the sun or the dust blowing in her face, nor the craggy and difficult terrain. She missed Adora.  
Perhaps _regret_ was the wrong word. She just wished she hadn’t left without saying goodbye. They had talked things through, sure, but she still felt like they’d left things off… weird. Like maybe Adora wasn’t as okay with this as she had said.

One of the things that had been the most difficult to wrap her mind around in her time at Brightmoon, in being with her, had been learning that Adora was a bit of a mess too. For Catra, her fears had been simple. She had felt like she would never be good enough, that one day everyone would hate her just as much as she had hated herself and that the good things she had would one day be taken from her. For Adora, it had been more… complicated. She had always seemed to have it together, stable like a rock. Unflinching, unmoving, strong. But she had her fears too, and she was weak in ways Catra wasn’t. Catra couldn’t always put her finger on it, but it was there. In the way she worried, in the way she always had to take responsibility even when she didn’t need to, _shouldn’t_ need to. Leaving her behind like this… what if she started to think Catra didn’t want her?  
_Pull yourself together_ , she thought irritably, _you’re strong enough that you can be apart for a few days. Stop doubting._

Well, so far so successful- she had gotten herself alone, and all it had done was make things worse. She should have known better. She should have realized that when you were left with your own mind, you ended up wallowing in every old thought pattern you already had.  
Suddenly, her ears perked up. There had been something carried on the wind, very faint. Like a… cry? It might just be some animal. But then again, the animals of the waste were no joke. Suddenly cautious, Catra continued walking the sandy ridge she had been traversing, actively looking, listening. Grateful for the distraction, she walked faster at a crouch, going down the side of the ridge to make her profile less obvious against the horizon. Danger and tackling it, she did understand. It was uncomplicated. It didn’t demand you start examining your inner self. She could _deal_ with that.  
After walking half a mile without another sound, she was starting to wonder if she had just imagined it. She was if not getting off course, then at least headed for an unnecessary detour. She had almost decided to straighten her course, when she saw something in the distance, as a cloud of dust cleared. A little house, or something like it, and three figures outside it. Catra dropped low and headed closer. She went prone the last bit, crawling with her hood up.  
Some twenty yards away, she saw three humanoid creatures. A burly lizardkin, seemingly in charge, and two skinny people. One seemed human, the other had goat horns and thin fur. All three of them carried something. Curious, Catra pulled out a pair of binoculars from her satchel. A mattress, some leather, some pots and pans… that, judging by the way the door of the shack hung by one hinge, they had just stolen. 

Well, not her business. She had promised Adora not to take any stupid risks, and she was not about to play hero for a few trinkets.  
Then suddenly the wind shifted, and the lizardkin raised his head, a tongue darting into the air. He growled something, pointing in Catra’s direction.

_Shit._

Her eyes narrowed. Did she run? Should she spend the next couple hours trying to shake these punks, getting off course and maybe even lost? Looking at them, Catra decided they didn’t look dangerous enough. She had tried to keep a low profile and it hadn’t worked, but she’d be damned if she would run like a scared animal. In the back of her head, the promise she’d made to Adora rang out, and she felt a little guilty.  
Alright, compromise. She’d stay where she were, but she would do nothing to escalate. Catra stood up, arms down but claws out. The three thugs, having dropped their loot, were heading right her way. 

“Fresh meat,” said the lizardkin in what Catra assumed was meant to be an intimidating voice. His cronies chuckled, in the unmistakable way henchmen always chuckled, because they knew that a world where they didn’t was one they did not want to explore. 

“I don’t know who you are, and I don’t care,” said Catra firmly, “I’m not part of any of your dumb gangs. I’m just passing through. Grab your stuff and get moving, and we can both go our own ways. Nobody needs to get hurt.”  
For emphasis, she flexed her claws a little.

“She don’t talk like she’s from around here, boss,” said the goat-horned one. 

“Sure don’t,” said the lizardkin. “She’d fetch a pretty penny on the markets, though.”

Fuck. This was not going anywhere good.

“I’m with Brightmoon Military,” she said, “captain’s rank. You don’t want this, trust me.”

The lizardkin chuckled.  
“Brightmoon? That’s a long way away. And you’re out here, all alone.”

He nodded at the goatfolk, who lunged forward with a crude club in hand. Catra caught him by the wrist, and he winced in pain as her claws dug into his skin.

“I’m warning you,” she hissed, “leave me alone, or I’ll… you’ll regret it.”

The hesitation was enough to convince the three that she was, in fact, some greenhorn stumbled into the wrong place, and Catra cursed inwardly as the lizardkin charged at her. She kicked the goat in the chest, sending him tumbling back, and hopped out of the way of a massive clawed strike from the lizard. She unclasped her cloak and threw it at the charging brute. The cloth wrapped over his face, momentarily throwing him off. When he threw it aside, Catra was already coming at him, her claws raking at his face. He snarled with pain, five red lines carved across his thick, scaled face. He lunged at her again, but Catra weaved out of the way with ease, nimbly stepping back. He came at her again, but no matter how he tried, Catra was always where he was not. The lizardkin bellowed frustratedly, and the goat rushed in to help with his club raised.  
Suddenly, Catra was facing two attackers, and a third one circling around to find an angle. The ground underneath her was loose, treacherous, and she felt like even she might fall. As the goat came at her just as she dodged another heavy attack from the lizard, Catra lashed out in earnest, afraid. She took a blow to the arm, but at the same time her claws found his throat. They could cut through steel if she needed them to, and a soft trachea posed no challenge whatsoever. The thug fell over with a gurgle, and she grabbed the charging lizardkin by the arm, twisting him aside and using his own momentum against him. He twisted around, quickly lunging at her again. A powerful sweep from his arm connected, slamming into her side. The blow was partly absorbed by her satchel, and Catra quickly recovered. She side-stepped another vicious charge, tripping him as he ran at her. He fell into the sandy ground, snarling. It took him just a moment to get back on his feet, arms raised for an attack, but Catra was already on him. She clawed at his arm, and when he winced with pain she slid inside his guard, raking her hand across his throat. There was a spray of red, quickly absorbed by the sand, and the leader went down clutching his throat. The last one, the human, took a quick look at his two dying companions and turned tail, horror in his eyes.

“Yeah, you better run!” Catra hissed. She looked down at the two wastelanders, twitching as they bled.

“I _warned_ you,” she said angrily, sinking to her knees. “I _warned_ you, but you went for it anyway, didn’t you?”

She sunk her hands into the loose, sandy ground, drying them off. There had been a time when she wouldn’t have thought twice about killing, but now…  
_Well, this is going just brilliant so far._

She didn’t stay to wallow in her guilt for very long. She was still in dangerous territory, and she had somewhere to be. After retrieving her cloak, she looked over at the shack. She would take one quick look, she decided, just to make sure there weren’t any more of them skulking about.  
It was a ramshackle thing, a mess of wood and rusted metal that could only be called a building in the most generous use of the word. It had walls, if only barely, and a door hanging off one hinge. It would offer some protection against the elements, but not much. But this being the waste, this was still a step up compared to the unforgiving nature around you.

There was a rustle to her left, and Catra spun around, claws out. She had been ready to fight, but what she saw made her freeze up momentarily.  
From behind the cover of a dried, dead bush and a small rock, a little kid had stepped out. He could have been no older than eight. Scrawny, lean and skinny, he had thick, scraggly black hair hanging in a mane behind him, and a tail and cat ears, just like hers.  
Catra blinked. There was no mistaking it. The ears, the thick hair, the little tufts of thin fur here and there…  
He was a cat… person. Like her. 

She had never seen one like her before. She had been the only one in the Horde, the only one she knew of at least. She had never thought about it much. She had assumed there had to be other people like her. _Somebody_ had to have left her at the horde’s doorstep, after all. Catra had just never felt a need to go looking for them, to find her roots. People like her had to be out there somewhere, but she had never dwelled on it. Seeing one of her own had her briefly stunned.

“Are- are they gone?” The boy spoke up, staring up at her. He was dirty, and wore only a tattered rag that would, at some point, have been a shirt much too large for him.  
Catra glanced over at the ridge she had just left, where two figures lay still.

“…yeah,” she said with a nod. 

“Are they dead?”

He was still huddled by the bush. The boy didn’t seem to be afraid of her, but he still looked afraid.

“…they won’t bother you again,” said Catra. Dead. Killed. The words haunted her.

“Thank you, lady.”

“It was uh, it was nothing,” Catra murmured, a little disconcerted. “What um, what happened?”

“They came to take our stuff. I saw ‘em coming, so I ran and hid. Mama’s still inside.”

Catra’s eyes narrowed, looking at the near torn-off door on its one hinge. The shack suddenly looked forbidding.

“Wait here,” she said, “I’ll check and see if it’s safe.”

Cautiously, Catra stepped inside, on alert. If the kid’s mother was still in there, she might lash out thinking another attacker was coming for her. Carefully, her ears twitching, she scanned the room. There, in the gloom, she saw a figure lying very still on the floor. Her heart skipped a beat, and she carefully walked up toward it.  
There on the floor lay a woman with the same cat-like features Catra had, looking worn and weak. Her neck was twisted at an unnatural angle, and she wasn’t moving. Catra put a hand just over her mouth. No breathing. She put two fingers on her neck. No pulse either. She was still warm. She had died- had been killed- probably the last hour or so. Suddenly, Catra felt a lot less bad about the wastelanders she had just dealt with.  
Somebody just like her had lived here, in this little ramshackle shed. She had furnished it as best she could, and she had done it caring for a child, and now she was gone. Catra knew the wastes were cruel and unforgiving, but it was no easier for it. Shaking her head, she stood up. This day was just getting better and better, wasn’t it? And outside… outside, her kid was still waiting. She took a deep breath and walked back out again, gently closing the door behind her as best she could.  
The boy had dared to step forward a little, still waiting outside. 

_How the hell do I do this?_

Catra went down on one knee, gently placing her hands on the boy’s shoulders. He flinched at the touch.

“Don’t go back inside,” she said, shaking her head. “Don’t- just don’t.”

His eyes widened, and Catra felt lost. What was she supposed to do here? Give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be alright? Nothing about this was alright. 

“Mama…” said the boy, his voice trembling.

Catra nodded.  
“…yeah. She’s not- she’s-“

She almost panicked. Looking for something to say, anything at all, she added,

“Look, do you- do you have anyone else? Anywhere else to go?”

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. 

“Your dad?” said Catra, increasingly desperate. 

“Don’t got one,” the boy sniffed, wiping his nose. He wasn’t quite crying, but he was trembling, breathing erratically.

Shit. What was she going to do about this? She couldn’t just… leave him, could she? She took a deep breath. At least one of them had to keep it together.

“Hey, kid,” she said, in what she hoped was a gentle tone, “I’m Catra. What’s your name?” 

“Freddie,” the boy mumbled.

“Freddie. Good name,” Catra said with a nod, “Look, Freddie, I’m going to go somewhere… safe.” _For a given value of the word, at least._ “You wanna tag along?”

The boy looked at the shed, then to the dead wastelanders in the distance, then back to Catra, and slowly nodded.  
“’S not safe here,” he agreed.

“Alright. Just… stick by me, then,” said Catra, wondering what the hell she was doing.

*************************

Catra had feared she would be slowed down, but Freddie turned out to be a pretty decent runner. Their pace was still slowed, and they had to stop to rest a few times, but the kid was more resilient than his lean frame had suggested.  
_I was like that,_ Catra thought. Even from a young age, she had been fast.

He didn’t talk much, but Catra would have expected no less. He had just lost his mother, and now he was left at the mercy of a stranger. What was she going to do with him? She sighed. She had taken him in, and she couldn’t very well just kick him out. She’d find somewhere to stash him, and bring him back to Brightmoon. From there, they could find him an adoptive family, and that would be the end of that. 

“Hey Fred, let’s take a few minutes,” she said. She needed to stop and think a little. The boy nodded, stopping a few yards behind her as she sat down to rest on a rock. Reaching into her satchel, she reached for the tracker pad. Might as well double check it-

 _“Shit!”_  
Catra cursed out loud, looking at the ruined frame. That damned lizardkin- he’d hit her once, and of course it had caught her bag. The tracker pad was ruined, large cracks running all over its screens. Frantically, Catra tried pressing the power button, but to no avail. Looking up, she saw Freddie cowering, having backed up a little. Catra took a deep breath and slid the pad back into her bag. This day seemed _determined_ to get progressively worse.  
“It’s okay,” she said, taking a deep breath, “something just… went a little wrong.”

The boy kept quiet, staying a few paces back. She wondered what the right words were here. She had scared him, and it wasn’t like she could just… talk her way out of it the way she would with Adora. Kids. Why people went mad about getting them, she’d never know.

“Are you hungry?” she said, digging into her satchel, producing a couple ration bars. She had taken the precaution of packing plenty, just in case. To reassure him, she took a bite out of one bar, holding out the other for him to take. Hesitantly, Freddie reached out and took one. After one cautious bite, he wolfed it down in seconds.

“Look at you, huh?” said Catra encouragingly, “You must be really hungry.”  
He had to be. The ration bars had been made just like they had been in the Horde, nutritional and unappealingly flavourless. 

“You got any more?” asked Freddie, “It was really good.”

“…sure,” said Catra, producing another bar, “but I can’t imagine what kind of food you’ve been eating if you think _this_ tastes good.”

“Better than usual,” said Freddie, chewing a little more slowly now. Catra offered him her water flask, and he drank from it gratefully. 

“What do you usually eat out here?” said Catra. While the Horde had been cruel and unforgiving, at least she had never had to starve, even if all they got was bland sludge or blander ration bars.

“Stuff ‘n things,” said Freddie with a shrug, “sometimes I’m lucky and find a small spotty lizard. They’re pretty tasty. Then there’s bugs and larva and such.”

The idea of eating whatever creeped and crawled over the ground felt distasteful to Catra, but she couldn’t judge him for doing whatever he could to survive. She’d have done it too.

“How’d you like to go someplace where you don’t have to eat lizards or bugs, Freddie?”

“No lizards?” said Freddie, distraught.

“I mean there will be good food there,” Catra explained, “much better than lizards. You’ll never be hungry again. And you won’t have to worry about bad people either.”

Freddie blinked, wide-eyed.

“There’s a place like that?”

Catra nodded.  
“It’s called Brightmoon,” she said, “it’s a beautiful castle, far from here.”

“What’s a castle?”

Catra blinked. Oh yeah- he had probably never seen a building bigger than the ramshackle shed he’d lived in.

“It’s like a really big… hut,” she said hesitantly, “but way, way bigger. So big that it almost stretches into the sky.”

“Bigger ‘n my old house?”

“Like this,” said Catra, grabbing a small pebble. “Imagine this is your old place. Now,” she continued, grabbing a much larger rock, holding it in her other hand, “ _this_ is what a castle is like. The little rock is your old place, and the big rock is what a castle is like. You get it?”

Freddie’s eyes went wide.  
“No way!”

“Way,” said Catra, shuffling the bigger rock around in her hand. “It’s a beautiful place. I live there, you see.”

“Brightmoon…” Freddie murmured, staring out into space, as if imagining it.

“I work for the queen,” said Catra. “You ever hear about queen Glimmer of Brightmoon?”

Freddie’s eyes narrowed suddenly.

“Wait,” he said, cocking his head, “you’re not lying, are you?”

“Nope.”

“’Cause mama used to tell me if somebody tells you something sounds too good, then they’re lying to you.”

“Your mama was right,” said Catra, “if it sounds too good to be true, then it’s usually too good to be true. But sometimes… sometimes you get something good. Better than you ever expected. It’s a big world out there. It can be really nasty, but sometimes it’s not. And sometimes, it’s really good.”

Freddie seemed to contemplate this for a second, and then nodded.  
“And you’ll take me there? To Brightmoon?”

“Sure,” said Catra, “Sparkles- that’s Queen Glimmer- is coming to pick me up tomorrow. I’ll find you someplace to stay.”

“And I won’t be hungry again.”

“Sure,” said Catra. There had to be some family out there who would take him.  
“Come on,” she said, “let’s keep going. We have to make it to the safe place first. I have some business to take care of.”

**********************

They arrived a couple hours later than Catra had originally planned, but faster than she had expected. The Bonehead Bar seemed every bit as inviting as usual- that is, about as inviting as the skeleton of a long-dead giant creature remade into a building and filled with the worst ruffians in a lawless society could be.  
Catra wasn’t afraid. The last time she had been here, she had made it very clear she was not to be trifled with. Freddie, though, seemed hesitant, in between awed and scared.

“Is this what a castle is like?” he asked, staring at the bones pointing up toward the sky.

“Sort of, except not really,” said Catra, “it’s a lot bigger than this.”

“There’s bad people here. You said we was going somewhere safe.”

“It’s safe if you’re with me. Just don’t wander, okay?” said Catra, giving him an awkward pat on the shoulder. That was reassuring, right? That’s how you talked to kids, right?  
When he still looked hesitant, Catra added,  
“You can always stay outside by yourself if you want. But me, I’m going in.”

The prospect of being left alone seemed to work, because Freddie stuck close by her as she walked in. The usual crowd of brigands and plunderers gave her a glance as she walked in, and a second glance when they saw the boy in her wake, but a mean glare from Catra’s side made them decide to look back to their drinks.  
It took some looking around before she found Huntara. The purple-skinned woman was sat far down the bar at a table by herself, looking generally mean and intimidating. Seated near the exit, Catra thought. 

“Stay close,” Catra muttered to Freddie, walking over. She took a seat opposite Huntara. The woman, arms crossed, gave the kid a curious look, raising an eyebrow at Catra.

“Go stand by the wall,” Catra muttered, “I’ll keep an eye on you. It’ll be okay.”

Freddie nodded, and did as he was told. He looked skittish, ready to run, and Catra couldn’t blame him. She would have been concerned if he hadn’t shown a healthy amount of fear in a place like this.

“Who’s the squirt?” said Huntara. She was not one for formal introductions, something Catra rather liked about her.

“He’s… a stray,” Catra muttered. How did you say _I picked up a kid and I have no idea what I’m doing?_  
“There’s a shack a few miles south. Came across some raiders. His mom… didn’t make it.”

Huntara nodded sympathetically. “I think I know that place. Didn’t know she had a kid. Damn shame.”

Catra nodded.

“And the raiders?”

“One got away,” said Catra, casually raking her claws across the table, “two didn’t.”

“Serves ‘em right,” Huntara muttered.

She seemed… uneasy. Catra had met her only twice before, and both times the woman had seemed supremely confident in herself. Now she was eyeing the exits, the crowds, her eyes darting around. Her exterior was stone cold, but Catra could read the signs.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“You’re late and I already waited too long, so I’ll try and make it quick,” said Huntara, leaning in over the table.  
“Long story short, things have gone to hell round these parts. After Prime went and chipped most of the leaders here, me included-“

Catra shivered at the mention of the name, at the memory of the cold, green void of mind control.

“-well, we got free, but a bunch of us wound up dead. The Crimson Wastes don’t got a government, but it _does_ have a power balance. So long as the strongest gang leaders have their territories down, things are stable. As stable as they get here, anyway. But Prime’s invasion shook it all up. Suddenly, all the major gangs were leaderless. Everything was pure anarchy for a whole year.”

“Anarchy? Isn’t that what this place is all the time?” Catra asked.

“Yeah sure, so imagine how bad it got to make _that_ look good by comparison. It was a long, bloody year, and I spent most of it just defending my turf. Didn’t see ‘em coming till it was too late.”

“See who coming?”

“The Sand Snakes. Real bad gang, led by a homicidal maniac. Mostly lizardfolk, but they take all sorts. I’ve seen maniacs before, and they usually run themselves into the ground, but boss Puff Adder seems to be unusually smart for a lunatic. That’s a dangerous combination- murderous, smart and ambitious. He’s taken over most of the old gangs. If it keeps going this way, he’ll be the closest thing to a king these wastes have. They’re doing all the dirtiest trades, and they leave a trail of bodies whenever anyone says no to them. Sometimes even when they don’t.  
“I spent most of the year fighting his people, but they already ran me out of my old turf. There’s gotta be hundreds of ‘em now. Reason I called for a meeting is I need serious backup.”

Catra nodded.  
“The wastes haven’t been a priority, but if it’s this bad I’m sure we can work it out. I’ll talk to Glimmer-“

There was a sudden whistle, and Huntara’s head snapped around to look at a woman leaned out a window, pointing out. Huntara hurried over, and Catra heard her curse under her breath. Following behind, Catra stared into the distance.

“What’s going on?” she said, squinting to see better, “I can’t see anything but a bit of dust kicked up in the distance.”

“Rookie talk,” Huntara scoffed, “the wind’s pretty still, so there’s no way that much dust would get kicked up unless there’s a lot of people coming our way.”

Catra pulled some binoculars from her bag, and zoomed in. Looking closer, she realized Huntara was right.

“How many?” Huntara demanded.

“Damn…” Catra muttered, “Dozens, all spread out. Maybe a hundred. Could be more coming, for all I can tell.”

Huntara slammed a fist into the wall.  
“We got maybe ten minutes before they close in at this distance,” she said, peering out.

“Glimmer’s supposed to pick me up here tomorrow,” said Catra, “if we can hold out-“

“ _Tomorrow?_ Might as well be next month,” Huntara said firmly. “I’m getting the hell out of here.”

Catra blinked. There was no hesitation, no interest in making a stand. It made enough sense, of course. Fighting a patrol of scrappy wastelanders was one thing, but a hundred?

“Where are you going?”

“Deep into the wastes,” said Huntara, glancing around her, “I know a few escape routes. Dangerous, but you’re welcome to come with. You’d be safe enough until we can work something out.”

Catra’s eyes darted over to Freddie, standing there glancing around nervously. Huntara shook her head.

“No kids. He’d slow us down. Can’t risk it.”

Catra’s eyes narrowed.  
“I’m supposed to just leave him?”

“Yeah,” said Huntara bluntly. “Look, I get that you feel bad for him, but he’s not your responsibility. Nobody made them kill his mother. Not your fault, not his either. But the wastes are full of these sad stories. Start caring too much about one, and where do you stop?”

Catra felt… strange. Adora, she knew, would have launched into an angrily righteous tirade about doing the right thing, which is easy enough to do when you could just turn into an invincible demigod at the drop of a hat. But Catra understood. She didn’t like it, but she understood. The wastes were not a very moral place to begin with, and it punished those too trusting and too naïve.  
But it felt _wrong_. She had taken the kid in as a panicked impulse response, not knowing what else to do, but when she did that…  
She had given him hope. She had given him stories about a better life. Could she just… leave him? She remembered what being left behind felt like. She balled her fist, and made a decision.

“He’s my responsibility _now_ ,” she said.

Huntara shrugged. “Suit yourself. No offense, I hope you both make it, but I’m not staying. Standing up for what you believe in is great and all, but not if it gets you killed for nothing.”

Catra nodded. “It’s fine. I’ll… work something out.”

As Huntara turned around, Catra wracked her brain. What was she going to do? She had walked this way on foot before, even if it had been years ago. She could do it on her own, for sure. But with a kid?  
No choice. The Sand Snakes might be looking for Huntara specifically, but everyone in here had seen them talking. That made her a target. Thinking intensely, she tried to formulate a plan.

Port Damalie. That had been where she and Scorpia had been dropped off, so long ago. A rotten place, but heaven compared to the wastes. From there, they could catch a ship to Salineas, and once there they’d be able to contact Brightmoon. Yeah, that could work. That was a plan. Simple, dangerous, and risky, but there was no better option available.  
On foot, it had been a four-day walk. With the kid… judging by the hours it had cut from her time, maybe five, six days? That was doable. Quickly, she rifled through her pack. She’d had the foresight to bring supplies to last her a while, but definitely not a week. She motioned for Freddie to come over.

“Change of plans,” she said, “we gotta go, as soon as possible.”

“Why?” 

“Bad people are coming. Lots of them,” Catra said, shooting a glance out the window. The dust cloud in the distance looked real ominous now.

“You said you’d get us somewhere safe!” Freddie cried.

“And I _will_ ,” Catra said. She got on one knee, and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. “I had a plan. But here’s the thing about plans: often, they don’t work out. So you work out a new plan, and a new one when that goes wrong, until it works.”

Looking a little less distraught, Freddie nodded slowly.

“What’s the new plan?”

“We’re going for a real long walk,” Catra explained, “a week, maybe less. I know the way… I think. We’ll make do. You can handle a hike, can’t you?”

Freddie nodded again, seeming sceptical. _He’s right to be_ , she thought.

“We’re leaving as soon as I settle something,” Catra said, heading over to the bar. She gave a whistle, demanding the attention of the bartender.

“What?” said the bartender. She was a sturdy woman, and looked suitably intimidating for an establishment like this.

“I need food and water,” said Catra, “anything you got, preferably dry stuff that doesn’t go bad in a hurry.”

“…maybe I can work something out, yeah,” said the bartender, nodding, “you got money?”

Catra cursed inwardly. She had some money, but it wasn’t much more than pocket change.

“Brightmoon will pay twice what it’s worth. Four times, even,” Catra said quickly, “I work there, and-“

“No credit,” said the bartender plainly, “you pay up front, or you don’t get nothin’.”

Catra flexed her claws irritably, but the bartender shook her head.

“Don’t even think about it. You’re on thin ice, I hear.”

Catra scowled, wracking her mind for a solution. Then, as she irritably tapped her foot, the solution came to her. She reached down and pried her boots off, slamming them on the bar disk.

“Fine black leather,” she said firmly, “newly made and of fine make at that. It’s not money, but I doubt money’s the only thing you use out here in the wastes.”

“What’ll I do with a pair of boots too small for me, hmm?” said the bartender. She sounded sceptical, but far less so than before.

“Trade them. Sell them. I’m sure somebody will find use for them.”

The bartender gave her a look, and paused for some time, inspecting the boots.

“Fine make, huh? Yeah… I could give you a bit of food for that.”

“And water,” said Catra, “as much as you got in terms of rations. Believe me, these cost me almost a month’s pay.”  
The fact that she hadn’t paid for them at all, that they had in fact been a gift from Glimmer, she left out.

The bartender nodded.  
“Deal.”

“And one more thing. I need you to do me a favour.”

“You’re pushing it, woman,” Huffed the bartender.

“Trust me, you’ll be doing you a favour. I was supposed to meet somebody here tomorrow, and when I won’t be here, some very serious people will be looking for you. When they start asking questions, believe me when I say you’ll want to have some answers to give them.”

“…how serious are we talking here?”

“Glimmer, queen of Brightmoon, and She-Ra, saviour of our world,” said Catra flatly.

The bartender gave her a look, as if to call a bluff. Catra did not back down or flinch.

“…you’re kidding me.”

“Nope. So when they come around these parts, you give them this message: Catra is alive. I’m okay and I’m going to head to… safety. Everything’s going to be okay.”

She would rather have said where she was heading; everything would have been easier if Glimmer could just find them and get them home, but she could not trust anyone right now.

“That’s all? Sure,” said the bartender, giving a shrug. 

The food wasn’t exactly stellar, but good enough by waste standards- some drying bread, a few old ration bars and a couple canteens of mostly clear water. With what she already had, Catra figured they would make it if they rationed it.

“We may have to go hungry toward the end,” she explained to Freddie as the two of them hurried out the way they had come, heading north.

“That’s okay. I’m hungry most of the time anyway,” said the boy.

Looking at his skinny frame, Catra had no trouble believing it. Together, they walked into the wastes, away from imminent danger, and into the constant low-key danger these lands had to offer.

****************************

They had to stop and rest every now and then, but they made good time. As sad a story as Freddie’s life seemed to be, he was hardy. He kept up most of the time, and he didn’t complain. Despite herself, Catra almost felt good about the situation. They had gotten a few hours into their walk now and there was no sign of pursuit, and the kid was handling himself. She never missed being the person she used to be, but there were some aspects of that life she hadn’t realized she was missing. Just being on your own, taking care of yourself, confident that you could handle anything life had to throw at you…  
The harsh wind in her face, the beating sun above, dusty craggy ground under her feet, and she kind of liked that. Why had she started wearing boots in the first place, anyhow?

No- focus. This was not a game. It was deadly serious. Things could go wrong in a million ways. Last time she’d been backed up by Scorpia, and now she had to look out not just for herself, but for somebody who couldn’t look out for himself.  
But if she was going to be honest with herself… well, if she kept an eye out, there was no reason she couldn’t enjoy it a bit, right? This could all turn miserable in a second.  
Her thoughts drifted to Adora. She would worry herself crazy over this, and that thought alone was enough to drive any joy out of Catra. She had said it’d just be a couple days. And Adora… Adora was already scared she was going to leave. 

“Damn it…” she muttered.

“What?” said Freddie.

“I- nothing,” Catra muttered, “I just… it’s a grownup problem.”

“Okay.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“…okay.”

“It’s just that… I’m letting my girlfriend down,” Catra muttered, realizing she needed to say it out loud, “I said I’d be gone a short while, and now she’s going to worry about me. I… do that a lot.”

“What’s a girlfriend?”

Catra blinked. Oh yeah. Kid.

“Uh…” she said, “you know what it’s like to have a friend?”

“Not really. How’s that work?”

Catra blinked again. She had her work cut out for her.

“A friend is like… well, your mom cared about you, right?”

“Sometimes. She let me take care of myself most of the time. She was kinda mean. Not always, though.”

 _Oh boy._  
“A friend is like…” Catra said, trying to find the words. Bow would have known what to say. Even Adora would have known. Catra was not the friendship person in their group. She was barely a decent friend.  
“It’s somebody who likes you the way you are and cares about you, I guess,” Catra said thoughtfully, “somebody who looks out for you. And you look out for them. It’s somebody you like to be around, and who likes having you around.”

“Mama said people who say they care about you are trying to get something from you. That it’s something bad people say to trick you.”

“Yeah, well, it’s probably true out here,” muttered Catra, “but this is a very bad place with some very bad people. It’s better out there, where I’m from. People aren’t trying to screw each other all the time because they aren’t starving or homeless.”

Freddie cocked his head, looking puzzled.  
“That sounds nice, I guess,” he said after a little while. “So what’s a girlfriend?”

“Um… that’s hard to explain. It’s when you have a friend who is _really_ special to you. More than anyone else.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s a grownup thing,” said Catra, feeling a little lost. “I’m just… sad because I’m not being a… good friend to her.”

“Why?”

“Well, I said I’d be gone only for a little while, and now that’s going to be a lot longer. She’s going to feel really, really worried. And that’s my fault.”

“Why?”

“Well… I mean, I didn’t _make it happen_ , I guess,” said Catra, “I know that. It’s not really my fault, but it _feels_ like it. That’s what it’s like when you care about somebody. When you let them down, it hurts.”

“If it hurts to have friends, why have ‘em?”

“Because it’s worth it,” said Catra firmly, “because it’s much worse without them.”

Freddie went quiet for a while, seeming lost in thought. After a while, he looked up at her and said,  
“Are you my friend, Catra?”

“…sure, little man,” said Catra, unsure of what else to say, “I’ll look out for you, if you look out for me.”

************************

They walked until it got dark, making decent time. Once the sun started to set, Catra found a burrow hollowed out in the bank of a dried-out river. It was a narrow space, but it kept them out of vision and provided protection from the wind. Once she had checked to make sure it wasn’t already inhabited by something, Catra lay down with her eyes turned toward the opening, wrapping the cloak around her. Sleep did not come easy. Her mind was racing with a hundred different things; worry, guilt, frustration, and anger with herself for getting into this mess.  
What would Adora think? Well, she would probably approve. _Look at you. Who’s playing the hero now?_ she thought. Catra, protector of the innocent… she would have laughed at the idea not long ago.

As the lay there thinking, she could hear Freddie rustling. His teeth were clattering, and Catra realized the night air had gotten fairly cold. It wasn’t enough that the day was oppressively hot, but the nights would sometimes get almost freezing cold. The wastes was a place of extremes, where you would only live in if you had no other options.

“Hey, kid,” she said, “you alright?”

“I- I’m f-fine,” Freddie insisted. He had his arms wrapped around his chest, head tucked in and tail wrapped around his legs.

“You’re freezing.”

“It’ll be okay, miss,” Freddie insisted, “I’ve slept like this before.”

Catra sat up, unwrapping the cloak around her. How could she have forgotten? The rags Freddie wore wouldn’t protect against much.

“Come here, dummy,” she said, in a friendly tone. When he looked hesitant, she added, “I’m not going to bite. Don’t you want to keep warm?”

He took a second to think, and after a moment of deliberation he crawled over to her. Pressed up against her chest, he folded himself together like before. Catra wrapped her cloak around them both, holding him close. He was ice cold, and Catra chided herself- she should have thought of it before. As he sat there, very slowly warming up and shivering, it hit her.

_I’m the only thing between him and dying out here._

She had taken him in without thinking because it seemed right at the time. She hadn’t thought about what it meant. She had expected it to be as easy as looking after him for a day and a half and then sending him on his way. And now… now, it was all up to her, or he would perish out here in the cold, alone. 

What had she just done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go- Catra's stuck with Freddie now, and it's a long way home.
> 
> FYI, Freddie is not meant to be Finn- this is a whole other OC, I'm doing my own thing here.


	3. Forests

They had started walking early that morning, and were making decent time across a gulch stretching several miles. Freddie was in high spirits considering the circumstances, running back and forth around Catra, chasing bugs and exploring. She wanted to tell him to keep quiet, fall in line and preserve his energy, but didn’t have the heart to. Something about watching the little kid just run around and be… spirited like that struck a chord with her. Even in the horde, she too had found moments of happiness despite life in general being pretty awful. It was hard to try and take that away. That, and she wasn’t sure what she’d do if he said no. Catra was vaguely aware that children needed to be disciplined, but how and when was something of a mystery to her. She had had all of one parental figure, and she had been the worst possible role model to go by.  
Warily, she kept an eye on the horizon. No movement for miles, seeming totally desolate, but you could never take anything for granted. This place offered a thousand and one places to hide if you really tried.

Eventually, the dried-out riverbed they walked by turned out to have a little water in it, springing from a rockface in the distance. It was a small stream, perhaps ten feet across and no deeper than a foot or two at its centre point. She noted the little plants growing by the streamside. Even here in this dry, arid place, there was life.  
Near a wall of dirt, once a riverbank judging by the look of it, Catra paused and threw her bag down to the ground.

“Alright little man, we’re taking a break,” she said, sitting down on a rock.

“I can still walk,” Freddie said defiantly.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Catra, “and a few hours from now you’ll complain about how tired you are. I don’t want to have to carry you. We got a long way to go, and if we want to get there, we need to rest every now and then.”

“But don’t that make it slower?”

“Not as slow as collapsing from exhaustion.”

Freddie sighed. 

“Fine, I guess.”

“Now that we’re here, actually…” said Catra, “I need you to take a bath.”

“A bath?” said Freddie, perplexed.

“You get in the water and scrub yourself clean from dust and dirt,” said Catra.

Freddie cocked his head again, furrowing his brows.

“What’s that for?”

“Hate to break it to you Fred, but you kind of smell. Noticed it last night.”

Freddie lifted an arm up, smelling himself.  
“I smell the same as always.”

“Exactly,” said Catra, “now I don’t mind keeping you warm, but we got to do something about your hygiene.”

“Hi-jean?”

“You not being clean,” Catra clarified. “Go on. Take off your clothes and wash yourself properly in the stream.”

Freddie looked at the water, looking very sceptical. While he seemed sceptical of most everything, he regarded the water with particular suspicion. Carefully, he dipped a toe in.

“It’s gross,” he muttered, “water’s for drinking, not rolling in.”

“Well, back where I’m from, everyone does it. Even me.”

“I’m not like that. Why do I have to be like you?”

“You know the whole part of not being hungry, and living in a big castle?”

“Yeah?”

“It means following some rules. Like washing yourself every day.”

Freddie gave her a long, hard look, seeming to contemplate what was worse, being hungry or having to be clean. Slowly, he put a foot in.  
“It’s the _worst,_ ” he whined, “it’s super icky!”

“If it helps, I hate it too,” said Catra, “maybe it’s a cat thing, but I can’t stand being wet all over.”

“So why do I gotta do it if you think it’s bad?!” said Freddie indignantly. 

“Some things you just gotta do even if you don’t like them,” said Catra, shrugging, “It’s just the way life is. If I smell, people won’t want to be around me. Since I like being around people- well, _some_ people- I wash.”

“I _hate_ people. Does that mean I get to not wash?” said Freddie hopefully.

“Nope. Get in there and wash. You don’t have to make it long, just get the dirt off you. You’ll dry off quick in the sun.”

One foot still in, Freddie looked at her.  
“You gonna hit me if I don’t?”

“What? No!” said Catra firmly, “I mean- no. Of course not.”

“’S what mama did when I was being bad. Am I being bad?”

“…no,” said Catra, taken aback. Was that how people raised their kids, just… hitting them whenever?  
Then she remembered the horde and realized that yes, of course they did.  
“You’re not being bad. A little difficult, but not bad. Just go wash, and we’ll have a little snack.”

Freddie groaned, and slid his shirt off. Groaning and moaning all the way he walked into the stream, slowly lowering himself into the water.

“Now scrub,” said Catra, “your arms, your chest, your everywhere. Until the dust is all gone.”

He shot her a dirty look.

“Do it, or no snack,” Catra said firmly.

Slowly, he obeyed. The motions were clearly strange to him, and it took him quite a while, made no easier by his constant groaning.  
As he clumsily scrubbed himself, Catra inspected his rags. The piece of clothing was riddled with holes, generally brown in the way something coloured by waste dust would be. It had once been somebody’s shirt, she assumed, probably made for somebody bigger than him. It stunk of age-old sweat and who knew what else. She could see little creatures crawling inside it. Lice. What else could she have expected? These rags could barely even be called a shirt at this point. It only just fulfilled the most basic function of a piece of clothing, if even that. 

“All done,” Freddie said, stepping out of the stream. He sat down, wrapping his arms and tail around himself.

“Well done, Fred,” said Catra, nodding approvingly. He was cleaner, although perhaps not by much. The worst of the smell seemed gone. In fact, she suspected the real source of the smell was not him.

“We’re getting rid of _this_ ,” she said, balling up the rags and throwing them to the wayside.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Freddie protested, getting up to run after the torn, smelly shirt. Catra put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could go anywhere.

“Relax,” she said, “I won’t let you go naked. But those rags? They’re disgusting.”

“But-“

“Wait a second,” Catra said, unclasping her cloak and sliding her brown short-sleeved jacket off, “try this on, will you?”

Freddie seemed confused, almost in disbelief as she handed it to him. He took it and slid it on. Catra was lean and slim, but on Freddie it was still a few sizes too large. It fit, although poorly. Freddie buttoned the jacket up and looked at it with awe.

“Um,” he said, “this is very nice, but… that shirt, it’s _mine_.”

“This jacket’s yours too. You can have it.”

“For real?” he said, stunned.

“For real,” Catra nodded.

“Is there somethin’ wrong with it?” he said, suddenly checking it, looking for tears or flaws. “This is a nice jacket. ‘S the nicest thing I ever seen. Nobody gives nothin’ good like this away.”

“I’ve got more jackets than this. Lots more. Even better ones, too,” Catra said, glad she hadn’t brought the jacket Adora had given her.

“But…” he said, still seeming to not understand, “don’t you need it?”

“You need it more. Besides, I got this cloak, don’t I?” Catra said, clasping the cloak back on as if to demonstrate.  
“Trust me,” she added, “I have _lots_. Where I come from, everyone can have a nice jacket if they want one.”

“Really?”

Catra nodded.  
“Mhm. And people don’t steal all the time, because they have what they need. It’s worth having to wash yourself sometimes, if you ask me.”

“So… I can really have this?” Freddie said, blinking. It seemed to finally sink in.

“Yup,” said Catra.

“…thank you,” he whispered. There was a tear in his eye. Catra felt uncomfortable. It was just a jacket, wasn’t it?  
_‘S the nicest thing I ever seen._  
Damn. It probably was, yeah. 

“Don’t you worry about it, yeah?” said Catra, ruffling his hair. He shied back from her touch at first, and Catra wondered if she had messed up. 

“…anyway,” she said, “why don’t we share a ration bar, drink a little water, and keep moving?”

“Sure!” said Freddie, grinning.

_Note to self: give kids stuff. They like that sort of thing._

*****************************

Adora paced. She had tried to distract herself. She had tried reading, she had tried running laps, and she had tried helping Glimmer with whatever chores she could perform as She-Ra. But despite her best effort, her mind kept wandering. Why had she asked Catra for space? She had been gone for a day now, and already she couldn’t think of anything else.  
Well- it wasn’t… she hadn’t been wrong. You could have too much of a good thing, and they had been practically joined at the hip for months now. It was just that…

It was just that she had asked for a little space, and Catra had decided to put hundreds of miles between them. Adora tried, for the umpteenth time, to try and be reasonable about it. Of course she didn’t _really_ think Catra would just… up and leave. She would never do that. She had come so far. She wouldn’t do something so stupid and self-destructive. That was in the past.  
Except she remembered that it wasn’t that long ago Catra had nearly destroyed herself. That she’d had a whole life of being abused, and only a couple years of recovering. What if- what if deep down, she didn’t… want this?  
_Stop_. This was _exactly_ what she didn’t really believe. That was just fear, insecurity, not what was really real. 

“Adora!”

Grateful for the distraction, Adora turned around to face Glimmer, having teleported into her room. Adora stood bolt upright, eager to think of anything else.  
Glimmer looked out of breath, her hair frayed.

“We… we may have a situation,” she said.

“Whatever it is, I’m ready,” Adora said, “is it insurgents? One of those clone cults? A diplomatic mission that needs She-Ra to flex her muscles a bit? I’ll take anything. Even another meeting.”

“It’s Catra.”

“ _What?_ ” said Adora, a wave of fear washing over her.

“I went to the Bonehead Bar. You know, the one where we were supposed to meet? No Catra. No Huntara either. There _were_ some very angry lizardfolk there. They decided to claw first and ask questions later.”

“And?” Adora said keenly.

“Well, after giving them a bit of this,” Glimmer said, manifesting a small blast of pink energy in her hand, “I decided to head back and grab you. Something’s wrong in the wastes.”

The sword manifested in Adora’s hand, and a second later she was eight feet tall, clad in bright white and gold. 

“Get us there. _Now._ ”

Glimmer nodded, ignoring the fact that she had practically been given an order.

*****************************

After refilling on drinking water, the two of them moved on. Despite Catra’s tenseness, despite constantly looking over her shoulder, everything was quiet. The terrain was craggy and rocky, but whenever she had got a good look at the horizon it had been dead quiet, empty for miles and miles. It seemed like they had avoided the Sand Snakes, at least.

“Hey, Catra?”

“Hmm?” said Catra, still staring into the distance, still focused on keeping an eye out.

“Who’s Adora?”

“How’d you know that name?” said Catra, suddenly focused. She had to have sounded a little sharper than she meant, because Freddie seemed to shrink, pulling away from her.

“You um, you said it in your sleep this morning,” said Freddie anxiously.

“Hey,” said Catra, gently placing a hand on his shoulder, “it’s okay. I was just… surprised.”

Slowly, Freddie seemed to relax, but he still seemed a little on edge.  
“She’s my friend,” said Catra, “the one I told you about yesterday. My girlfriend.”

“The real special friend?”

“That’s right,” said Catra with a nod. “She’s…”

How did you even explain it? Catra found it hard to explain even to herself. What she meant to her was… so intense and so fundamental that words seemed to fail her.  
“She’s the most incredible person in the world,” she said, hesitantly putting words to her thought, “she’s selfless, loving, sweet and strong, and very beautiful. I’m very lucky to have her.”  
That was all true, but at the same time nowhere near enough. Something about what she said seemed to have worked though, because Freddie was looking at her attentively, his anxiety gone.

“She live in a castle too?”

Catra nodded.  
“We have a big room to ourselves. It’s the best.”

“What’s it like?”

“Living in a castle?”

“Having a special friend.”

“It’s…” _More than I deserve._ “The best thing that ever happened to me.” 

They walked in silence for some time. Then, Freddie asked,

“What’s Queen Glimmer like?”

“She’s alright,” said Catra, “I was… an enemy to her once. And to Adora. But now I’m not. It’s funny how things work out.”

“Makes sense,” said Freddie, “sometimes gangs fight, and sometimes they don’t.”

“That’s one way to look at it,” Catra muttered.

“What kinda name is Queen, anyway?”

“It’s not a name. It’s a title.”

“Title?”

“Sort of like… being a boss. You know what that is, right?”

Freddie nodded.

“A boss has a name, but people call him ‘boss’ first, because he’s in charge. Same thing here.”

“So a queen is like the boss of the castle?”

“Pretty much,” said Catra, letting out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s true just like you said, but being a queen is a bit bigger than being the boss of a gang. It means you’re in charge of lots of land, and thousands of people.”

“So you got territory and people to push around. Sounds like a boss to me.”

Catra snorted.  
“You know what? You’re not wrong. But it’s a bit fancier, and she doesn’t have to bully or threaten people to get what she wants. Most of the time.”

Freddie seemed to process this, then nodded. If there could exist a place with food better than lizards, then there could be a place where the bosses weren’t assholes, right?

“So what’s it like? The castle, I mean. The place where it is.”

“It’s not like here, all dry and lifeless. It’s green, with grass and forests and rivers. It’s sunny, but not as sunny as here. It’s warm, but not as warm as here. It’s… a good place to be. Sometimes I go walking in the forests-“

“What’s a forest?”

“You know what a tree is, Freddie?”

“Sure. I’m not _stupid,_ ” said Freddie, rolling his eyes.

“A forest is when you have a lot of trees in the same place. So many trees at once that you can’t see anything but trees if you look into the distance. Just lots of green, all around you. There would be bushes and rocks just like here, only with trees all around you.”

“Whoa…” said Freddie, seeming blown away by the idea.

“It’s a good place to go for long walks,” said Catra, “a good place to think. Lots of little places to hide away, if you wanted to. Lots of animals too.”

“Trees as far as you could see, and little hidey holes…” Freddie murmured, “and rivers?”

“Sometimes. Or little streams.”

“I wanna see that.”

“I’ll show you when we get there,” said Catra, and Freddie lit up. Something about him smiling made her feel a tingle, a spike of unexpected happiness. 

“Really?”

“Sure,” said Catra, “when I’m not busy. I do have work to do. Sometimes. Not… always.”

How did you explain that you were essentially a freeloader who couldn’t figure out what to do with yourself?

Thankfully, Freddie didn’t ask. Instead, he asked a thousand and one questions about the forest; about what kind of animals lived there, what kind of trees there were, how deep the rivers were, if it was dangerous, if the people lived in there and why wouldn’t they, since it sounded like a safe place to hide?  
Catra found herself explaining every single thing in depth. She spent over an hour trying to explain the concept of a city to him. Lunch came and passed, and they had been walking for hours now. Still he had questions, and still she answered them. Catra had never been a people person, per se. She _could_ be if she wanted to; she knew how to manipulate and bend others to her will, but she had never got along with others well, let alone children. Despite that, she didn’t grow irritated with his unending stream of questions. It was a surprising. Just being listened to, giving out information, teaching and explaining…  
It wasn’t so bad.

*********************

Underboss Snagger was having a bad day. He had worked his way up the hierarchy of the Sand Snakes the hard way. He’d been with them since he was an egg, and he had served four bosses before Puff Adder had come along. He had fought his way up by tooth and claw, by being the most vicious, the most cunning, the most ruthless thing around. He had paid his dues, had been cautious as much as he was brutal, and had been rewarded for his hard work with leadership over his own troupe. For the last couple years, he had been riding the gravy train, taking everything the Snakes had needed. He was good at his job. The only thing stronger than him was his boss, which was the way it should be.  
This was why it was so concerning that he was being handled like a hatchling by an eight-foot-tall warmblood, with a sword in hand and a furious expression on their face. She held him by the scruff of his cloak, having thrown his subordinates around like ragdolls before making a beeline for Snagger. 

“ _Where is she?!_ ” demanded the warrior. Snagger tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but she placed the tip of her blade against his neck. The underboss went still, realizing his life hung by a thread.

“Who?” he said desperately.

“Her name’s Catra. About yea high, cat ears, tail, one blue and one yellow eye and a nasty temper?” said a smaller figure behind the giant warrior, wielding a staff. She had singlehandedly kept the rest of his group in check so clearly, she was no less dangerous than the warrior holding him stuck.

“N-no idea,” Snagger croaked, his heart beating quick, “never seen her. Never heard of her, I swear!”

“She came here to meet Huntara,” said the warrior.

“Huntara? Yes-yes, Huntara! We know her!” cried the lizardkin, eager to provide any info of substance.

“Talk.”

“She was one of the old bigshots out here in the wastes before the chaos. Boss Adder decided she needed to go, so we been hunting her. My group tracked her to the Bonehead Bar yesterday, but she got away. That’s all I know, I swear!”

“And what if I don’t believe you?” said the warrior, her eyes narrowing.

“I would listen if I were you,” said the smaller one, “this is She-Ra. You know, the vanquisher of Prime, protector of this world, and also royally angry right now?”

Snagger had heard the name of She-Ra. Even out in the wastes, her deeds were known to all. Looking at the warmblood giant holding him, he had no problem believing she was the real deal.  
“I don’t know!” he croaked desperately, “I swear! I’d tell you if I did!”

“Tell us about this boss of yours,” demanded She-Ra.

Snagger’s eyes widened.  
“He’d kill me.”

She-Ra’s eyes narrowed, and Snagger expected to feel the sting of her blade. However, the smaller one intervened.

“Adora, let me handle this,” she said. She put a hand on Snagger’s arm, and-  
And suddenly they were plummeting through the air, heading straight for a sharp rock formation. Snagger screamed with terror.

“I think we have… maybe twenty seconds,” said the small one, and Snagger realized she was perched on his back, sitting on it like it were a comfortable rug, “I’ll give you a few seconds to think. Then we’ll see if you’re interested in talking.”

Snagger could see the rocks coming closer and closer, and cried out in terror-

And then he was, suddenly, in the same place he had been only seconds before, tumbling to the ground. He sprawled around, clawing at the ground for a few seconds until it sunk in that he was no longer falling.

“Now, would you like to talk, or do I need to take you for another ride?” said the small one.

“Please, I beg you. Boss Adder… you have no idea what he does to people who snitch on him!”

“Okay,” said the small one. She grabbed him by the hand, and Snagger tried to claw at her, but it was already too late. They were sailing through the air again. Snagger, terrified as he was falling; the magic user next to him sailing through the air comfortably.

“You know,” she said, while the earth sped closer and closer, “I don’t know how long I can keep doing this without screwing up. Teleporting two people while also changing their momentum to be non-fatal takes a lot of concentration.”

This time, he was only the blink of an eye from being impaled on a set of sharp rocks when she grabbed him, and Snagger found himself gasping for breath, terrified.  
“I don’t _like_ doing this,” said the small one, “but I’ll do it as many times as it takes. Now, are you going to tell me about your boss, your gang and so on, or are we going to take another trip?”

“I’ll talk!” cried Snagger. He knew a few pathways. He could always run. But for now… he just had to stay alive.

**********************

“Hey, I was wondering…”

“What, Fred?”

“In Brightmoon. Are there more people like us?”

“People like us?”

“You know,” said Freddie, twitching his ears, and moving his tail around, “magicats.” 

“What’s a ‘magicat’?” said Catra, puzzled.

Freddie snorted.  
“That’s _us_ , duh,” he said, sounding a little smug, “there’s humans and lizardfolk and goatmen and all that, and then there’s magicats. People like us.”

“I figured there were more people _like me_ , dummy,” said Catra, giving a chuckle, “but I never heard that word before.”

“Sometimes when mama was in a good mood, she’d tell me stories. She was nice like that sometimes. When I was ‘bout to fall asleep, she’d tell me about the valley of the magicats, where she was from…”

“Yeah?” said Catra, surprised at her own curiosity.

“Um,” said Freddie, “supposed to be this faraway place, I think, where lots of us live. She said there were families there, and elders who run the place. And…”  
He seemed to rack his brain.  
“Can’t remember too much,” he admitted after a moment, “I’d fall asleep, and then it was all sorta gone. But there are definitely magicats somewhere. Have to be. You really never seen anyone else?”

“No,” said Catra, shaking her head, “I… I grew up in an orphanage. Sort of. There were loads of different kinds there, but none like me.”

“Huh. So your Adora isn’t a magicat?”

“Nope. Human,” said Adora, smiling a little at the thought of Adora with cat ears.

“Huh. So you’re the only one in Brightmoon?”

“I don’t know everyone in Brightmoon. It’s a big place. There’s thousands of people in the areas around. I’m sure some of them are… magicats, I guess. I just haven’t seen any.”

“Mama told me we’re rare. Not a lot of us. She said we stick to our own.”

“Well, I don’t do _that_ ,” said Catra, “maybe I wouldn’t get along with them anyway. I don’t get along with a lot of people.”

“Why?” said Freddie innocently, “You’re nice.”

Catra blinked. She _could_ be nice, under all the layers of snark and defensiveness, but it took effort. She wasn’t naturally kind to people, and she had never thought of herself as nice. To be called that was… unexpected.

“Yeah, um… whatever,” she muttered. “You’re not so bad yourself, little man.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Little man. Kid. Dummy.”

“Um… I don’t know. It’s a nickname, I guess?”

“Nickname…” Freddie said ponderously, staring out into space. 

“Like a name you use instead of a name. It’s something friends do sometimes. Like, I call Glimmer ‘Sparkles’ because she has glittery hair.”

“I have a real name though.”

“Well um, if you want me to use that, I can,” said Catra, shrugging. “Does it bother you?”

He seemed to think about it for a little while.  
“I dunno.”

“I’ll just call you Freddie, then. Just to be sure.”

They walked another few paces, when suddenly Catra heard something over the wind, a faint rustle somewhere up ahead. Instantly she dropped to one knee, putting a hand on Freddie to pull him down. The boy had already followed her cue, lying prone on the sandy dune they had been following. _Good instincts_ , Catra thought as she stared up ahead. There, on the open plain maybe three hundred feet ahead, she saw movement. Catra went prone too, and slowly pulled out her binoculars. She muttered a curse to herself. Two big lizardfolk walking with intent, looking around. They were burly and barely dressed at all, carrying little more than rags and simple clubs for weapons.

“What’s going on?” whispered Freddie. Catra shushed him, putting a finger over her lips.

The two lizardfolk were taking their time, walking around without bothering to mask their approach. She had been lucky they were so confident, or she might not have heard them. Freddie crawled up to get a look, and Catra, keeping a finger to her lips, let him have a look through the binoculars. Freddie’s eyes widened, and he nodded.  
_He might be a kid, but he knows a thing or two about surviving already_ , she thought. It made enough sense. The wastes were the kind of place that ate those who didn’t learn. 

They lay still there for nearly an hour, until the two lizardkin were fully out of their vision. Catra breathed a sigh of relief, and after taking a long and careful look around, she sat up.

“What were they doing?” asked Freddie.

“Patrolling. Must be,” Catra muttered.

“How do you know? Maybe they were just hunting.”

“No hunting gear. No spears or anything. They didn’t seem to be tracking anything either. They were just walking around, keeping an eye out. That’s what scouts do.”

“Scouts?”

“Lookouts. People who keep an eye out and then go tell their boss what’s going on.”

“Oh. Well, they didn’t see us…”

“Thankfully.”

“You know,” said Freddie cautiously, “you could just have killed them. They wouldn’t tell anyone anything then.”

“What- no!” said Catra, startled by the casual way he’d said it.

“Why not?”

“First of all, killing is wrong. Unless you absolutely have to, it’s just not something you do.”

“Why? They’re bad people.”

“I don’t _know_ that,” said Catra, feeling like a liar. There was little to no chance either of them would have been anything but hostile.

“Everyone out here is bad people.”

Not untrue.  
“Look, it’s just… wrong,” said Catra, unsure how to explain the idea of morality to the boy. “We don’t do that. It’s a rule. Like washing every day.”

“Your rules are weird.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Catra muttered. “But there are other problems too. What do you think their boss would say if they didn’t come back?”

“I dunno.”

“He’d say, ‘why didn’t they come back? I better send more people out to check’, and when he finds they’re gone then people know somebody was there to kill them. Bodies are a problem. You have to hide them, and even if you do, people will notice. People don’t just notice what is there, they notice what _isn’t_ there. Plus, any kind of fight is always a risk.”

“But you’re strong.”

“Nobody’s invincible. Anything could go wrong. The best way to avoid being hurt is to not fight unless you have to. Get it?”

Freddie thought about it for a second, then nodded.  
“Yeah. I guess that makes sense. So we just hide as much as we can, if we see anyone else?”

Catra felt a little pleased with herself. She hadn’t exactly managed to explain right and wrong, but at least she got through to him.

“Exactly, little m- Freddie.”

“You can call me that if you want,” said Freddie, smiling. “It don’t bother me.”

“Alright then, little man,” said Catra, standing up, “let’s hurry up and get going, then. And keep an eye out. Two pairs of eyes see better than one.”

“Yeah!” said Freddie excitably. “I’ll see ‘em coming from a mile away, I promise!”

Despite herself, Catra chuckled. The kid was growing on her a little.

**********************

After the lizardkin underboss had spilled his guts and run away fearing for his life, Glimmer and Adora headed back to the Bonehead Bar. They had chased down the group that had attacked Glimmer, and following what they learned they decided to sit down and think.  
Adora missed Catra doubly now, because she was always the sharpest one when it came to plans like this. Keeping her She-Ra form up, just in case the natives got any ideas, they sat down by a table.

“So, let’s focus,” said Glimmer, “what do we know, and what are we going to do?”

“The guy you scared half to death seemed pretty honest,” said Adora, still distracted, “and I think I believe him when he said that Adder guy is based further north. I’m not sure he has literal hundreds of people at his disposal, but who knows? Anything is possible.”

“So we’ve got a big gang, mostly lizardfolk, based up north coming further south to try and take complete and total hold of the wastes. Ruthless, cut-throat slavers that we should probably do something about once we find Catra.”

Adora nodded. “Sure…”

“Look, you know her better than anyone. What would Catra do?”

“Catra’s smart,” said Adora, taking a deep breath, “she would get to safety, and stay hidden. She wouldn’t go for big heroics. She’s not… me.”

“Sure. But the wastes are a huge place, with lots of space to hide.”

“Yeah… she came here to meet with Huntara, didn’t she? Maybe she’d know.”

“And she’s not here either,” muttered Glimmer, staring irritably into space, “and Catra’s tracker pad isn’t working. Can’t get a signal. Next time, I’m asking aunt Casta about a tracking spell. Those do not break down because you can’t get a signal.”

“I’ll be damned, she wasn’t lying.”  
Glimmer and Adora both looked up, staring at the imposing figure of the bartender.

“Do you mind?” said Glimmer, “We don’t need anything.”

“Catra is alive.”

Adora sat bolt upright, eyes fixed on the bartender.  
“What did you say?”

“She came through here yesterday. About yea high, long brown hair, cat ears, eyes with different colours?”

“That’s her!” said Adora eagerly.

“She told me to pass on a message. I thought she was full of shit when she said the queen of Brightmoon and She-Ra herself would come for her, but I guess not.”

“The message!” said Glimmer, almost shouting, “What did she say?”

“Um. Mostly just that. She’s alive, and she’s going to get to safety. Didn’t say where she was going. Guess she didn’t trust me with that info. Smart girl.”

“Where- she had to have said _something,_ ” said Adora, standing up. At her full height she was quite intimidating, and the bartender raised her hands, taking a step back.

“If I knew I’d tell ya,” she said quickly, “everyone stay calm, alright? I came to you because I don’t want no trouble.”

“Was Huntara here?” said Glimmer.

“Oh, her? Sure. Left in a hurry when they spotted the Snakes coming. Your Catra left only a minute later.”

“Did she leave with Huntara?” Glimmer asked.

“Far as I could tell, they went their separate ways. I reckon Huntara went further south, but I can’t be sure. She’ll be miles away by now.”

“You’re sure?” Glimmer insisted.

“I saw Huntara going one way and Catra another,” said the bartender, “all I know. Maybe they figured they’d be better off splitting up. Maybe it was the kid.”

Adora blinked.  
“The kid?”

“Some stray that hung around your Catra, yeah. Scrawny little thing.”

“That doesn’t sound like Catra,” Adora muttered. 

“Well, I got no reason to lie,” said the bartender, “I sold her some food and water, and then she was on her way. I told you all I know, so…”

“It’s fine,” said Glimmer, “we’re not going to start anything unless anyone starts it first.”

“That’s all I ask,” said the bartender, sounding relieved.

Adora leaned back in her chair, staring into space like space had done something to offend her personally.  
“So she didn’t go with Huntara. And Huntara went south. Probably.”

“Hmm… wait here,” said Glimmer, “and I mean wait here. I’m going to go grab something.”

“Glimmer, what-“

But Glimmer had already teleported out. Frustrated, Adora leaned back. Somewhere out there, within a day’s walk or so, there was Catra. And some… kid?  
Left alone, her fears started going into overdrive. Throwing those lizardfolk gangers around, intimidating their leader, going back here… doing things, moving with a purpose, that had been a decent distraction. Left alone with her thoughts, she imagined one nightmarish scenario after another, each one progressively worse.  
_At least I’m not scared of her leaving me anymore,_ she thought. Some comfort that was.

 _Alright, calm down. Catra is smart and capable. If anyone could survive a trek through the wastes, it’s her. The last time she came here, she took over the whole thing in a single day._  
All of these things were true. None of them made her worry any less. The minutes ticked by, and Adora tapped her foot with frustration, fidgeting in her seat. Perhaps only ten minutes had passed when a pink shimmer flared and Glimmer stood beside her, but it felt like an eternity.

“You wouldn’t _believe_ how badly organized our library is,” said Glimmer, rolling her eyes as she spread a map across the table, “I swear, the moment I get back I’m calling George and Lance to see if they can organize it for us.”

“What’s this?” said Adora, looking at the map.

“Oh. The only known map of the wastes we have. It really only covers the northern parts, but I think it’d help.”

“How does it help us if it’s incomplete?” snapped Adora, her frustration welling over.

“Relax,” said Glimmer, sitting down opposite her friend, “and look. Remember how we came here the first time?”

“We took a boat and landed… somewhere,” said Adora. Her memory of it was a little fuzzy.

“There are three places anyone travelling this far south could take,” said Glimmer, her finger tracing the coastline, “Skull Bay, Port Damalie and Shadycreek. We landed in Skull Bay and made our way south, if I recall correctly. Port Damalie is a lawless city, but it’s well supplied. Wildermont is remote, probably the safest option, but it doesn’t have a lot of options travelling away from it. Shadycreek is dangerous, but it’s got loads of smuggler traffic. If I know this much, then I think Catra would too. Which do you think she’d pick?”

“All of them sound like good options,” Adora muttered, focusing on the map, “She might go for the safe option, but not if it’s a dead end. Or she might try and hijack a smuggler ship up at Shadycreek. She’d fit right in at Damalie, too. I… don’t know. But… one thing they all have in common is they all head north.”

Glimmer nodded.  
“She’s heading to safety. Except what she doesn’t know is… she’s walking right into enemy territory.”

“Let’s get going,” said Adora, standing up, “we’ll figure out the specifics later. North is good enough for now.”

*************************************

The sun was low in the sky by now. Their progress had slowed a bit, with Catra constantly on the lookout for more potential enemies, but none had showed themselves yet. Even with the slower progress, and the breaks they took to rest, it was clear Freddie was getting tired.

“You alright there, little man?” said Catra, already having slowed her pace to adapt to him.

“I’m fine,” Freddie insisted stubbornly, “I can keep going all night if I have to.”

Catra almost laughed at his stubbornness. 

“You sure about that?” 

“ _Super_ sure,” Freddie insisted. Not a moment later he tripped over his own foot, and would have fallen if Catra hadn’t been ready, putting a hand on his shoulder. He swayed a little as he tried to regain his balance.  
“All night.”

“All night, huh?” said Catra, walking forward.

“ _All_ night.” Freddie followed her, but every step was forced and unsteady. He was breathing heavily. Catra had to admire his persistence, but enough was enough.

“Alright Freddie,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder, “it’s not dark yet, and I don’t see a good place to rest, but _you_ are finished. Come on.” 

She scooped him up, holding him against her chest.

“You don’t gotta carry me,” Freddie whined, “I’m not a little baby!”

“I can see that, Fred,” said Catra, “but sometimes, it’s okay to be carried. Even if you’re a big boy.”

“I can walk. Jus’ need a little rest…”

“I know you can. But right now, I need you to hold on to me for a little while, okay? You can keep a lookout from behind. You’ll still be helping me that way.”

Freddie grumbled, but reluctantly put his arms around Catra’s neck. He was very light, surprisingly light even with how skinny he looked. She trundled on for another few miles. The extra weight soon started to tell, even if it wasn’t a lot, and Catra started to feel the weariness of the day’s travels herself. Her knees ached, and her back was starting to ache too from the combined weight of Freddie and her satchel. After an hour or so, she was scanning the place for somewhere to sleep. 

_Two days down. Four to go. We can do this._

She finally found a place safe enough to risk sleeping in, a small nook in between two large rock formations, sheltered from the wind by a large hill above them. After chewing down a ration bar and washing it down with water, she wrapped her cloak around herself and Freddie, laying rested against the side of one of the large rocks.

“Alright kid, let’s try and get some rest,” she muttered, ruffling his hair. Freddie leaned into the touch, looking at her hand.

“Hey, Catra?” Freddie muttered, sounding drowsy. 

“Yeah?” Catra murmured back, not quite ready to go to sleep.

“Why you got your claws out all the time?”

“I don’t know. I guess I always keep them out. Old habit.”

“You can’t pull ‘em in?”

“Sure I can,” said Catra, holding her hand out to show him. The claws retracted into her fingers, leaving them bare. It felt a little uncomfortable, it always did, like two rows of teeth not quite fitting together. She usually only pulled them back if she had to, for anything that required delicate finger work, like writing or sex. 

“Mama used to tell me ‘s was real bad manners to keep ‘em out. She’d slap me if I got mine out for nothin’.”  
He held his hand up, and a set of claws just like Catra’s, only smaller, extended.

“Why’s that?”

“She said claws out means you’re ready to fight. ‘S like you’re telling everyone you wanna fight ‘em.”

“Is that a magicat thing?”

“I think so, yeah,” said Freddie, yawning.

Catra slowly let her claws extend again, to match his.  
“I guess… if I think about it, I grew up in a really bad place,” she said, feeling sleepy herself, “I didn’t really feel safe, so… I always had my claws out. I guess I just got used to it. It sort of feels weird to not have them out.”

“Huh,” said Freddie, “musta been one scary place if you wanted to fight.”

“It… was. I didn’t have anyone else to tell me I shouldn’t, so I didn’t,” Catra said, shrugging.

They lay still there for a while, and Catra almost thought he had fallen asleep. He was still, leaned into her chest.  
“Hey, Catra?” he murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Can you tell me about Brightmoon again?”

“…sure, little man,” Catra said with a yawn, “what do you wanna hear?”

“Tell me about the forests.”

“Alright. They’re big and green, and there’s trees everywhere. Sometimes you can’t even see the sky, because there are so many thick branches with green leaves.”

“And there’s lots of little hidey holes.”

“Yeah. Little places to hide from danger, underneath the bushes, or in little dens. There are animals there too, lots of them…”

Slowly, Catra told him all about it, the same words he’d heard earlier that day, until he was fast asleep. Kids. Why did he want to hear the same thing twice? Well… if that was all it took to make him happy, sure. Why not?  
Thinking of home, Catra eventually fell asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chase is on, and Catra is heading north while teaching Freddie some new things, but danger is just around the corner...


	4. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know,” she growled, “I’m getting _real_ tired of playing the hero.”
> 
> The three lizardfolk turned to look at her, immediately dropping into a fighting stance. Freddie grinned, letting out a cheer.
> 
> “Get ‘em!” he cried. Catra ignored it.

They woke up that morning, both alive and unharmed. Freddie lay tucked in against her chest, quite at ease. The morning breeze was actually kind of pleasant, and Catra felt reluctant to get up at first. It was warm, but still early enough that the normal heat hadn’t set in. The nook they slept in was sandy, and not too uncomfortable to lay in. She had never been an early riser, not since she had the option not to be, and it seemed Freddie was no different. Maybe it was a cat thing. Or maybe they were just both late sleepers.

“C’mon, little guy,” she said with a yawn, “we got a long way to go.”

Freddie murmured something indecipherable, rustled a little, and buried his head in her chest. It was kind of cute, actually. She was not usually interested in fluffy, adorable things, that was more of a princess kind of thing, but looking at him just being at peace…  
Well, maybe just a few minutes more. He _had_ walked a long way yesterday, without complaining.

When she finally decided enough was enough, she woke him. She had to rustle him quite firmly, and deal with a fair bit of crankiness and whining, but he settled down well enough after he washed down a bit of dry bread with lukewarm water. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep them going. Both rubbing their eyes and yawning, they set off northward to the next leg of their journey.

“Hey, Freddie?” said Catra, an hour or so into their journey when she had properly woken up and the silence had started to get boring.

“Mhm?”

“How much do you know about the world?”

“The world?”

“You know, places outside the waste. You never heard of Brightmoon, so I was just curious. You hear about Salineas? The Fright Zone?”

Freddie shook his head.

“Didn’t think so. What do you know?”

“Well…” said Freddie thoughtfully, seeming to wake up a little himself, “I know where some of the gangs have their turf?”

“Figures, yeah.”

“But I heard about the sea,” Freddie added hastily, as if to prove he was knowledgeable, “like this big place that’s just… water, everywhere and all the time. And it’s salty. Which is weird, because water is for drinking and you can’t drink salty water.”

“That _is_ weird. I don’t think the water cares what we think it’s for, though.”

“Guess not. Um… I know there’s buildings and people up by the sea. Mama mentioned Shadycreek once. I asked about it, but…”

“She hit you?”

“I got away that time,” said Freddie proudly. Catra sighed. It seemed _wrong_ that he should feel this happy about it. But given what he had been through, maybe this was the happiest he’d ever been. The thought was depressing.

“Oh, I also heard of a boat,” said Freddie excitably, “it’s like… a house, except it floats? And people use it to go places on the sea.”

“Not exactly, but more or less,” said Catra. She gave him a curious look.  
“You ever hear of She-Ra, Fred?”

Freddie scoffed.  
“Of course I’ve heard of _She-Ra,_ ” he said, rolling his eyes, “I’m not _stupid._ Everyone’s heard of She-Ra.”

“Yeah? What’s everyone heard about her?”

“She’s a giant warrior with a huge flaming sword. She’s taller than a tree, and she’s got arms like tree trunks, and her sword can cut through a whole mountain if she wants to. She was the one who flew into the sky to fight the evil megaboss Prime, and she destroyed him with just one mighty blow!”

Catra tried to hold back a laugh, and failed, snorting under her breath.

“What’s so funny?” Freddie said, sounding hurt. “She _is_ real, you know.”

“I know she is,” said Catra, still chuckling, “you’re not wrong. She is a giant warrior with a great sword, and she did fight an evil monster named Prime.”

“Like I told you!”

“Some things aren’t right, though. She’s not taller than a tree. Well, maybe if it was a very small tree.”

“Of course she is. She’s a giant!”

“She’s more like… eight feet,” said Catra, indicating with her hand how high, “maybe two heads taller than me. Really big, but not _that_ big. She has nice muscles, but her arms aren’t really like tree trunks. And I haven’t ever seen her cut a mountain in half… although knowing her, I wouldn’t be surprised.”  
The last part came out a mutter, but Freddie heard it just fine.

“How would you know?” he said suspiciously.

“I know her.”

“Pffft. No way,” Freddie snorted.

“Yes way.”

Freddie shook his head, laughing.  
“She-Ra lives in the sky. How could she know you when you’re down here?”

“Because she doesn’t live in the sky. She lives in the castle, with me.” 

Freddie looked at her with extreme scepticism. Amused, a chuckle under her breath, Catra continued, 

“You know my special friend? Adora?”

“Uh huh?”

“She’s usually about my size, but sometimes she’s eight feet tall, wears a stupid tiara and has a big old sword.”

“You’re lyin’,” scoffed Freddie.

“No lies,” said Catra, “look me in the eye. Do I look like I’m making this up?”

Freddie stopped to look her in the eye, and Catra did too, going down on one knee to come level with her. She smiled at him.  
“No lies. My girlfriend is She-Ra.”

His eyes narrowed even further, and Catra chuckled. It was like he was trying to look right through her, his eyes boring into her. He would have looked intense if he hadn’t been so small.

“You _got_ to be lyin’,” he said hesitantly.

“Well, there’s an easy way to settle this, isn’t there?”

“Wozzat?”

“When we get back to Brightmoon, I’ll introduce you. If you see her being all tall and swordy, will you believe me then?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll make it a bet. If I’m wrong, you can get all the jackets you want.”

“And if I’m wrong?”

“I’m not sure. We’ll figure something out. Oh, I know- you’ll have to stand on your head for an hour.”

“…deal,” said Freddie, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

“Alright then. I hope you’re good at balancing yourself upside down,” Catra said, grinning back.

“I could do it in my sleep,” said Freddie, sticking his tongue out, “this is the easiest bet _ever_.”

“Same to you,” Catra chuckled, “alright bud, let’s keep going. We have a long way to go still.”

*****************************

The landscape around them shimmered. There was a blur of pink and there they were, standing on top of a mesa overlooking the surrounding area. After a minute of looking around there was another blur of pink, and they stood on a sandy ridge a mile away. Adora stared out into the distance, keenly looking out for any sign of life. She had let go of the She-Ra transformation for now, deciding to not waste the energy. After a day of travel, she had convinced Glimmer to speed things up, and as a result they had spent most of the day so far teleporting across the wastelands. They were covering vast swathes of land at once, but so far, _nothing_. Not a hint of Catra. Not even a ganger. These plains were desolate, truly lonely. Adora balled her fists, staring out across the horizon. Her frustration was growing. The thought of Catra being somewhere out there, away from her, outside her grasp- what if she was lying with a broken leg in a canyon somewhere, alone and starving? What if- what if- what if?! A million scenarios were playing through her mind all at once, and no matter how much she tried to reason with herself she could not bring herself to calm down. It was only by focusing on doing something, anything at all, that she was holding it together. She didn’t want to think about what she would do if she couldn’t.  
To think she had said she wanted _space_. If- _when_ she found Catra again, she would hold her and never let go again. 

“A-Adora?”

“Mhm?” said Adora, laser-focused on scanning the nearby area. 

“I need a break,” said Glimmer, sounding short of breath. Adora turned around to see her friend collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

“What’s the problem?” Adora said, kneeling by her side, “I thought you couldn’t run out of energy anymore?”

“I can’t run out of _magic_ for teleportation,” said Glimmer, panting lightly, “but using magic isn’t that different from swinging a sword around. Do it long enough and you eventually get tired.”

“I didn’t know it worked like that.”

“Adora,” Glimmer snapped, “I’ve teleported forty-eight times the last four hours. I kept count. Right now, it’s like I just ran ten miles. I’m not a runner, Adora! Do I look like the athletic type to you?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Adora blurted out, taken aback, “I didn’t realize-“

“No, no,” Glimmer muttered, waving Adora’s apology away with a dismissive hand gesture, “it’s fine. I’d be worried too. But I can’t keep doing this over and over.”

“So… we take a rest. And then we go slower.”

“Look,” said Glimmer, standing up very slowly, Adora having to give her a hand, “I’m not sure this is even the way to go. We have no way of knowing we’re even heading in the right direction. This place is _huge_ , and even though we covered probably like a hundred miles, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“We know where she’s heading. We have a general direction. There are only so many places to look,” said Adora stubbornly.

“You’re half right. There are _many_ places to look in. Like, I don’t even want to count the number of gulches, ravines, river beds and caves we’ve passed. This place has a _ton_ of places to hide if you’re trying to stay hidden. If Catra is smart, and we know she is, she’d try and keep a low profile.”

“So what? We- we just give up?” Adora said angrily.

“No, we stop and rethink what we’re doing,” said Glimmer patiently. “Just running around like this isn’t viable.”

“So what do we do?”

“That’s what I’m asking. Let’s try and brainstorm a little, yeah?”

Adora took a deep, frustrated breath, and forced herself to calm.  
“We could just teleport ahead to any one of those three places and wait,” she said, “I hate the idea of sitting around while she’s out there, but we could do that. One in three is better odds than running around like this, right?”

Glimmer nodded.  
“That’s a suggestion, sure. If we waited it out a few days, teleported in and out… I’m sure we could at least find those places using our map. It sounds doable.”

“Glimmer, I can _hear_ a ‘but’ on your tongue.”

“It _is_ doable,” Glimmer insisted, “but it feels like we’re still going by chance. Damalie’s a busy city, Shadycreek is supposed to be treacherous and full of places to hide, and Skull Bay is huge.”

“Well, do you have an alternative?” said Adora frustratedly, “And I mean it. I’ll take anything right now.”

“Maybe…” said Glimmer staring into the distance, “maybe we’ve been going at it the wrong way. Maybe we shouldn’t be chasing after Catra. Maybe we should be chasing after those Sand Snakes.”

“What?”

“Think about it,” said Glimmer, “they know the lay of the land. And if they came across Catra, they’d _definitely_ know. She would raise hell. And finding a whole crowd of people is easier than finding just one.”

Adora paused. That did make some level of sense.  
“I doubt they’d be happy to show us around the place,” she said hesitantly.

“Then we convince them,” said Glimmer, snapping her fingers and producing a spark of pink energy.

“Bully them?”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“…no,” said Adora after a slight pause, “not really. I don’t think anyone out here hasn’t earned being pushed around. And for her, I’d happily bring the thunder if I have to.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Glimmer, nodding approvingly. “Come on, let’s go see if we can’t find some lizardfolk to vent on.”

************************

They were making their way up a small mountain, too big to be called merely a hill. Catra disliked walking up the rock formation, since it made them both easily visible from afar, but the alternative had been a rocky and treacherous gulch to their left, and a riverbed turning the wrong direction to their right. The path they were making their way up was narrow and treacherous as well, with lots of loose rocks. More than once, Catra had had to call out to Freddie to _be careful_ , but he hadn’t lost his balance yet. He was nimble and light, barely disturbing the pebbles around him where he walked.

“I mean it, little man,” she grumbled as he elegantly skipped over a rock, Catra following behind. It had been a long time since she had felt like the slower, clumsier one, and she didn’t like it, “I know you can do it all on your own, but if you take one wrong step-“

“Then I fall all the way down and break my neck, yeah yeah,” said Freddie dismissively, merrily running across a narrow ledge with one side wide open to a long fall.

Catra felt irritable. What a little _brat!_ Had she ever been this insufferable?  
No sooner did the thought pass her mind than she realized that well, she had. Probably worse too. Being on the other side of it felt… different. _Fucking infuriating, more like._ He could jump and skip all he liked, but kids were both overconfident and inexperienced, which was a bad combination. And she was the one who had to bear the blame if he fell. Her satchel and cloak shaking uncomfortably as she moved along, she jogged to catch up. She crossed the winding path with ease, and thankfully the path broadened a little.

“I win,” said Freddie cheekily, having stopped just past the narrow walkway.

“It’s not a game, dummy,” Catra grumbled.

“That sorta thinking is exactly why I win and you don’t.”

“You little-“ Catra started, then stopped herself. No shouting.  
“Listen,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I get it can be… exciting to do things like these. Things that are dangerous. I used to do it too, just for fun. But I’m serious- if you fall, you could really hurt yourself, and it’d be my fault.”

“Why?” said Freddie, blinking.

“Because- because- _because,_ ” Catra said, trying to put words to what she had thought was obvious, “because… I’m looking out for you. And I’m the grownup. You might be a big boy, but you’re still a kid. That means I’m responsible if something happens to you. At all. Period.”

“I kinda don’t get it. You look out for me, and I look out for you. ‘Zat mean it’s my fault if something bad happens to you?”

“Well no, because I’m all grown up. It’s different.”

“Why?”

Damn it. How were you supposed to explain these things to a kid?

“Because it just _is_ ,” she said irritably, “because I say so. I don’t have the time to argue about it. You can run around all you want, _after_ we’re down this very deadly, very dangerous cliff.”

“And if I do it anyway?”

“Then you’re…” _Bad._ She hesitated to use the word. His mother had done that, apparently, the same mother that used to beat him. She’d used it too, just the other day, out of convenience.  
“Then you’re going to be disappointing me,” she said lamely.

“Pfft,” Freddie snorted, sticking out his tongue. Turning around the spot, he continued to race up the cliff.

“Damn it Freddie, be careful!” Catra cried angrily, rushing after him. Weighed down by her equipment, she started to lag behind. She saw him round a corner, and she upped her pace. It was dangerous for real up here. Why couldn’t he see that?  
_I hate kids,_ she thought, running uphill. What was so great about them anyway? All they did was being difficult, never listening to reason-  
She saw him running along a ledge. The path had narrowed, and the corner he had turned around had to have been sharper than expected. Freddie was teetering on the edge, desperately clawing at the rock he’d landed on to keep his balance.  
Catra leaped forward, throwing herself through the air without thinking. She slid along the path, extending a hand. Her heart skipped a beat, time seeming to slow as she sailed toward the edge. Freddie was losing balance, tipping over…  
The impact nearly knocked the air out of her lungs, but her hand closed around his wrist and gave a firm, strong tug. Freddie fell inward, on top of her, and for a second Catra felt her body rock, as if she would go over the edge along with him. Twisting her body inward, she put her free hand down onto the ground, stabilizing her. It was all over in the blink of an eye. Probably no more than a couple seconds had passed, but it felt like forever. Catra’s heart was racing when she sat up. She gave Freddie an angry stare, ready to give him an earful. But she saw his ears folding down, the boy shying back as if he was trying to avoid getting beaten, and the words died in her throat. She was still holding on to his wrist, she realized, and very tightly at that. Slowly, she let go.

“Just… one wrong move,” she said, taking a deep breath, forcing her voice to calm, “the cliff doesn’t care how good you think you are. _One wrong move_ and you lose everything. That goes for everything out here in the wastes. So just… be careful out there. You understand?”

Slowly, Freddie nodded. Catra backed off a little, letting him have his space.

“I’m not saying you can’t have fun,” she mumbled awkwardly, “but there’s a time and a place.”

Freddie nodded again, and Catra felt like she’d made a mistake somewhere. Maybe she _should_ have… not beaten him, but told him off at least? Wasn’t that what you did with kids who were out of control, set some boundaries?  
There was a dark flash in her mind of a mocking voice and two white eyes staring down on her, when she was little. Harsh words could be just as bad as being beaten. But they _had_ to have a place, right?

“Let’s just get going, okay?” she muttered, standing up. 

Freddie’s ears remained folded down for some time as they travelled up toward the peak of the cliff, but he eventually regained some of his spirits. He seemed to have learned a little from his earlier mistake, though; he would slow his speed whenever the path narrowed, or the ground was loose. He still went too fast for Catra’s liking, but it was progress of a kind.  
_That,_ Catra thought, _was dangerous._ She had just lectured the boy about the perils of these cliffs, and yet she had thrown herself almost off the edge to catch him. She could have gone over, and it would have taken a miracle to survive a fall like that. If the impact alone didn’t do it, then the sharp edges and pointed rocks certainly would have. There weren’t many people she would have done that for, and some stray she had picked up by chance had never featured as part of that list. It was… weird.

After a short break to rest in the shade of a cliff, they finally approached the peak of the little mountain. At least from here, they had a good view of things. Far in the distance, Catra thought she could see a city. Pulling out her binoculars, maximizing the zoom, she could make out little buildings- and the sea. Port Damalie!

“Good news, kid,” she muttered, “we’re on track.”

She blinked. He was gone. _Again_. She looked up the path. Freddie had kept walking while she paused to look into the distance, and Catra bit back a curse. Would it kill him to take a hint? Just earlier he had whined about how tired he was, and now he was running ahead of her.

“Wait up, dummy!” she grumbled, jogging after him.

Normally, she would have seen it coming. The rock formation up ahead, forming a natural gate in the path downward, certainly was the optimal place for an ambush. Large rocks, situated well above the path with good cover and perfect visibility on anyone coming in from below. But in her irritation, and her focus on the stray she was looking after, she only realized what was going on just as the rocks started to fall.  
Catra reacted instantly as the first boulder fell, pressing herself against the wall and shying back, heading toward the mouth of the natural gate they had just passed through. Ahead of her she could hear Freddie cry out in terror, but there was nothing she could do right now. The first boulder, large enough to have killed her outright if it hit, was followed by several smaller rocks tumbling down from above. Up there she could see some indistinct figures. Catra did not pause to look, only retreating back and keeping low. She kneeled behind a piece of dead shrub, waiting for things to quiet down. She listened intently, creeping closer, light on her feet. She could hear voices, low rumbling chuckles. Wastelanders. _Damn it._

As she crept closer, a final piece of rock dropped down, striking just ahead of her. A shower of dust and sand came down with it, covering her almost entirely. Catra choked down a sneeze and looked ahead through the dust. She could hear Freddie, animatedly shouting at something. He was angry- not in pain or afraid. That was something, at least.  
The dust started to settle, and she finally got a good look at her ambushers. Three hulking lizardfolk, dressed in simple rags. The largest one, a hulking brute with yellow-beige scales, was holding Freddie by the scruff of the jacket she had given him. There was a lean, serpent-like fellow with orange-brown scales, his head bobbing up and down as his tongue flicked in the air. A stocky, muscular brown-scaled wastelander with his arms folded over his chest completed the trio.

“He got fight in ‘im, I’ll give it that,” said the stocky one, letting out a barking laugh.

“He’s real skinny, but meat’s meat,” said the serpent-like lizard, sniffing Freddie.

“Don’t you try it,” hissed Freddie, lashing out with a clawed hand. They raked over the nose of the hungry lizardkin, who pulled his head back and snapped his jaws at the boy in anger. Only the bigger lizard holding him- their leader, Catra assumed- stopped the bite from sinking in. 

“You keep your filthy mouth shut!” the leader rumbled, shoving the hungry one away. “I wanna know where the other one went. You idiots were getting ahead of yourself and dropping the rocks too early, like usual!”

“Who cares?” said the hungry one, eyeing Freddie eagerly, “She got buried. Crushed. Nobody lives through that.”

“Shows ‘em what happens when you get into somebody else’s turf,” sniggered the third one.

Catra grit her teeth. _Don’t fight._ She tried not to, tried to move past that, but sometimes life didn’t give you a choice. Sure, she could just leave him to his fate. But if she did that… what was it all for? Why did she come this far? _What would Adora think?_  
Catra stood up, brushing the dust off herself, unclasping her cloak and putting her satchel down.

“You know,” she growled, “I’m getting _real_ tired of playing the hero.”

The three lizardfolk turned to look at her, immediately dropping into a fighting stance. Freddie grinned, letting out a cheer.

“Get ‘em!” he cried. Catra ignored it.

“Not that I think you’ll listen, but here’s _one chance,_ ” she said venomously, spreading her arms wide with her claws out, “put him down, get lost, or I _will_ kill you.”

There was a moment of hesitation, and Catra almost thought it worked. Then the leader let out something in between a bark and a hiss, and his two underlings spread out, slowly approaching her. Catra eyed her surroundings. The cliffs surrounded them on all sides, far up and with smooth rock surfaces, hard to climb. Aside from an opening some ten feet behind the lizardfolk, facing the sheer drop of the cliff, they were boxed into a pretty narrow space. The passage was big enough to accommodate the three lizardfolk, but not much more. Catra flexed her claws, eyeing them carefully as they started to encircle her, like predators closing in on prey.  
Her heart was racing. She had no illusions of what would happen if she lost. She’d be dead or worse, without ever having said goodbye to those who mattered, hundreds of miles from home. But despite the thumping of her heart, Catra felt an eerie calm come over her. This part, she understood. This wasn’t some frustrating relationship problem, or looking after some bratty child. This was fighting, and fighting was a matter of simple brutality.

The lean one was the first to pounce. Catra had expected it and already stepped out of the way, immediately leaping into the air, avoiding a bullrush from the leader as she sailed over him, jumping across them using his brick-like head as a springboard. She felt a hand grab at her ankle, barely missing it. Catra ran, heading for the opening she had seen. She cast a quick glance behind her. The stocky, brown-scaled lizard was on her tail, hollering excitably, his jaws snapping in the air. Catra slid to a halt on the ledge facing out against the drop down. She took a step back onto the one large, flat rock that was the last step between the cliff and a drop of at least five hundred feet. She tensed, ears flat against her head, the hair on her back standing up. The stocky lizardfolk stepped onto the ledge, slowly, his companions remaining behind.

“Didn’t think that through, did you?” he said with a chuckle, lunging at her with a clawed hand. Catra dodged under the attack, and in one quick motion she swept his leg. The stocky lizard fell onto his back with a surprised yelp, and Catra jumped over him, giving him a kick to the back as he started to get up. He yelped and tumbled over the cliff’s edge, crying out in terror as he fell. It hadn’t been the greatest of plans, but it had worked. One down, two to go. Catra stepped back into the passage, eyeing the remaining lizardfolk intensely. They looked wary now, but still determined. Catra spread her arms, pointing her claws out, eyes darting back and forth.  
The leader lunged, and only just after him, so did the serpent-like lizardkin. Catra was already moving, dashing to the side, running up the side of the passage’s rocky wall, kicking off it when gravity started to catch up. She somersaulted through the air, landing nimbly on her feet and spinning around to face what she knew was coming. She had not a moment to spare, because the serpent was hot on her heels, charging in with fast, deadly attacks. She moved her head back, feeling the rush of air as a set of claws just barely missed her face. She took one, two, three big steps back, avoiding a strike with each one. He was attacking with zealous eagerness, seeming to prefer to attack with his jaws. With his long neck and rows of sharp teeth, she could see why. She evaded another snapping strike, and suddenly she halted her slow retreat, shoving her hand forward and up with her claws out just as he came in for another strike. Her hand slid in under his jaw, and the momentum of his maw made it easy. Her claws sunk in between his neck and jaws, and Catra felt the tips of her claws hit the inside of his skull. He went limp immediately. His own momentum carried him forward, and Catra wrenched her blood-soaked hand free, letting him fall to the ground. Her eyes narrowed, and she took a step forward. Seeing his companion fall, the leader suddenly seemed less intrigued than before. Catra paused, staring him down.  
_Go on. Run away. You’ve seen what happened to your friends._

She was not that lucky. He stared back at her for a second, then let out a fierce roar as if to reassure himself, and barrelled forward. Catra side-stepped his charge, raking him across the side as he did. He spun around to face her, but she was already coming at him. Her claws worked with furious speed, lashing out again and again, and suddenly the burly lizard found himself on the defensive. Suddenly, it was he who was taking a step back. He lashed out with his tail to try and sweep her leg out, but Catra jumped over the strike, retaliating with another cut. She lashed out again and again, the lizardman raising his thick, trunk-like arms to parry. Soon, they were covered in deep, bleeding cuts.  
It was only a matter of time. She was in her rhythm now, in command of the pace of the fight and never letting go of it. He slipped, reeling from one of her attacks, and his guard dropped for a second. Not a moment later, her claws raked across his throat. There was a spray of red against the cliff wall, and the leader fell to the ground, twitching as he bled out. Catra took a few steps back, not ready to relax until she was sure he was finished.  
Eventually, he fell still. Catra started to take long, deep breaths to calm herself.

Freddie! With the rush of adrenaline starting to pass, she was reminded of why this had started in the first place. She looked around to see where he had gone.  
He wasn’t far. Only some ten feet behind he sat, cowering. She took a step toward him, and he shied back, a terrified expression on his face. Catra blinked and paused, raising a hand to look at her palm.

_Red. Dyed red._

She had been able to handle the three hoodlums back at the shed when she had first picked Freddie up. But seeing his expression, the terror in his eyes…  
It was like a sea of darkness was swallowing her up, like the sun and the wind around her ceased to exist. It was like she saw a sea of faces looking down on her, judging her. Everyone she had ever hurt, just staring at her.  
_Adora, with claw marks on her back._  
_Glimmer, mourning at her mother’s grave without even a body to bury._  
_Scorpia, frightened and backed against a wall. Catra’s claws raking against the wall, next to her face._  
_Entrapta, stunned by a shock baton and carried off to Beast Island._  
_Hordak, screaming with rage when he found out._  
_Everyone who had lost loved ones from the Horde she had directed, taken charge of._

Trembling, Catra put her hands onto her head, barely keeping her claws from digging into her scalp. She had just about enough presence of mind to turn away, to not look at the dead bodies she had just made.  
She’d been through this before. Flashes of her past mistakes, how she had hurt others, the overwhelming shame and guilt of what she had done. Therapy had helped, but it was always there, under the surface. She remembered being curled up in the dark, weeping by herself until Adora found her, took her in her arms…  
But Adora wasn’t here. She had to go through this herself. She had to work though this herself, there was no other choice.

“C-Catra?”

She recoiled when he spoke. Freddie’s voice trembled, so many questions in just one word. It was too much. She had to get out of here, had to be _anywhere else but here._ She took off running, charging down the pass. 

“Catra!”

Freddie cried out behind her again, but she didn’t listen. She was vaguely aware of the landscape changing around her, but she paid it no real mind. Gone were the thoughts of caution, of other stragglers being around, of alerts being sounded. Catra just needed to be away from what she had just done. Everything was a blur, a haze, until she was rudely awakened by the ground rushing toward her face. She had stumbled, planting face first into the dusty ground. Catra groaned. The air had been halfway knocked out of her lungs, and her face ached from the impact, as did her chest. She looked around. The passage was sloping down now. She had to have run a fair way.  
No sooner did she sit up than the darkness caught up with her. Catra dug her claws into the sand, and crawled up against a rock, hugging her knees to her chest, staring down into the earth.

 _Just breathe._ She remembered that instruction. Long, slow breaths forced the body to calm. _Come on. Breathe._

But her mind was a jumbled mess. She could barely even think. She felt helpless, like she was falling down an endless pit. 

“Catra?”

She heard her name repeated several times, each time more insistent. Finally she looked up, briefly. It was Freddie, looking at her perplexedly. 

“I- I-“ she muttered, scratching her head, looking away.

“…I got your cloak and bag,” he said, holding the items up, “I know you need ‘em, so I carried ‘em. Everything’s still in here, look.”

Catra nodded, but couldn’t find it in her to respond. 

“You alright?”

Catra shook her head.

“Figured you wasn’t,” said Freddie, sounding a bit lost. “Uh…”

Catra wanted to speak with him. A hundred words found their way into her mind, but none of them made it through her mouth. 

“You don’t gotta worry about ‘em,” said Freddie, gesturing up the path, “they’re all down, right and proper. I just got a bit scared, but… there was nothin’ to worry about. Since you killed-“

 _“Stop!”_ Catra snarled. Freddie reeled back, like a startled animal. He looked at her, eyes wide.

“You know what, kid?” she said bitterly, “Yeah, I did.”

“S-sure.”

“You ever wonder where I learned? How I know all this? How I get on so well out in the wastes, even if I’m not from around here?”

“I-“

“You heard about She-Ra. I bet you heard about the Horde too, didn’t you?”

“…yes,” stuttered Freddie, “I-I did. They were like a really big gang of really bad guys-“

 _“That was me,”_ Catra spat the words out, full of loathing, “I was Horde. I was in _charge_ of the Horde. I hurt so, so many people. I ruined lives. I destroyed a whole city once. You were right the other day- everyone out here in the wastes is bad. It’s how this damn place makes you. And that includes me, Fred. I’m the bad guy.”

“Stop-“ said Freddie meekly.

“You saw it back there,” Catra continued bitterly, talking more at herself than the boy, “how I was able to kick that one guy off a cliff. Good people don’t think like that. Good people don’t immediately find a way to kill someone because it’s more effective. I _am_ bad, Freddie. I’ve always been. I cut them all down without holding back- who does that? Adora wouldn’t! Glimmer wouldn’t!”

“ _Stop!_ ”

Catra blinked. Freddie grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her.

“Stop saying you’re bad! _Stop saying it, stop saying it!”_

His voice trembled. He sounded almost hysterical. Catra forced herself to inhale deeply. She had to try and be strong right now.

“Hey, Fred-“

“Stop saying it stop saying it-“

 _“Fred!”_ she snapped. Freddie stopped shaking her, and paused his crying.  
“I’m not okay right now,” she said, her voice shaky, “and I’m sorry you had to see that. I am sorry you had to see, y’know, _that,_ ” she said, nodding with her head towards up the way they had come, “but I’m a mess right now. So just… take it easy for a second. I get you’re upset, but you’re making it worse when you scream at me.”  
Her voice was weak and trembling, but she got the words out. She felt a little pride at that. _Communicate. Say what you feel clearly and constructively._ It had been good advice in therapy, but hard to take to heart. 

Freddie sniffed, wiping his nose and nodding.  
“You’re not bad,” he said weakly, “you just ain’t. You saved me.”

“I know I did,” Catra murmured, “but I still feel like shit.” 

“I’d be dead without you. I just… got scared back there.”

Catra looked away.  
“I’m… still not a good person,” she muttered, half of her still believing it, “I’ve hurt so many people. I just… maybe those people up there didn’t give me a choice, but-“

“But what?” said Freddie angrily. He seemed to catch himself, because the next words coming out of his mouth sounded more measured, more controlled.  
“You told ‘em not to, and they attacked anyway. What’s gonna happen if you didn’t do it?”

Them both dead, their corpses chucked off the cliff, and that’s if they were lucky. Catra knew it, but the look on his face back then, frightened of his ‘saviour’ still haunted her.

“I… who knows,” she muttered.

“I knows!” said Freddie, “They woulda-“

“Stop, I get it,” she muttered, putting a hand to his mouth. She didn’t want to hear more of it. 

“So why do you think that makes you bad?”

Catra said nothing. 

“Does Adora think you’re bad?”

Catra flinched.  
“I- no,” she said. She had struggled for a long time with the paranoia that deep down, people still hated her, that they _really_ only tolerated her for some vague, unspecified reason. She had come to accept that they didn’t, but it had taken time. Adora, who had done so much for her- of _course_ she didn’t hate Catra. It was just that she sometimes had to reassure herself of that fact.

“Or does Boss Glimmer think you’re bad?”

“…no,” Catra murmured.

“You got any other friends who think you’re bad?”

“Not that I can think of,” said Catra exasperatedly.

“So everyone except you think you’re not bad. That don’t make no sense.”

“Look, it’s- it’s a grownup thing,” Catra said, groaning, “sometimes you can know something _up here,”_ and she tapped at her head, “but no matter how true it sounds when you reason it out, you can feel like it isn’t down _here,”_ and at that she made a fist over her chest, “and then it doesn’t matter how much you think about it. You still feel like you’re shit, even if you know that you aren’t.”

“Makes no sense to me.”

“It’s not about making sense, little man,” Catra said, patting the ground next to her, “come on and sit down. I’ll try and explain it.”  
Her voice was still shaky and her breathing ragged, but she felt herself calming a little. Doing something about it, even just talking… simple things like that helped. It certainly beat stewing in your own misery.  
Obliging her, Freddie sat down next to her, staring at her curiously.

“Alright,” she said, taking a deep breath, “you had a mama. Right, Fred?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And sometimes she beat you. But sometimes she was nice to you. Right?”

“Yeah, sure. I miss her a little bit. She wasn’t all bad.”

Catra nodded.  
“See, I had a mama too. Except she was _never_ nice. She hated me. She told me I was worthless, all the time. And… when you’re little, and somebody tells you you’re terrible, all the time, you start to believe it. You believe it as much as you believe the sun will rise every day. I… I had someone. I had Adora. But even with someone there for me, it… hurt me. Really bad. She’s gone now, but I can still hear her in my head sometimes.”

“Like a ghost?”

“No, not like a ghost. Not like her voice is _actually_ there. It’s like me, telling myself I’m worthless because part of me still believes in it. I know it’s not true, but I still do. Can’t help it. I don’t want it to be like that, but it’s the way it is.”

“I… understand. I mean, not really. But I think I get it a little bit,” Freddie murmured, nodding his head. “Your mama was real bad, and she told you that you were real bad, so you think you are.”

“It’s not just that. She told me I was worthless. And because of the way she made me, I did some really bad things. It works that way. If you treat people bad enough, they _become_ bad. I _was_ a bad person. Stop,” she said, holding up a hand to silence Freddie, looking like he was about to protest, “no, I was. But I changed. I… I don’t _really_ think I am bad. Not now. I’ve done a lot of things I need to make up for, but I know I’m not… like that. Not anymore. It was just… when I saw you up there, it reminded me of me, way back when I was the worst kind of person.”

“…well, good. You ain’t bad,” said Freddie, sounding content to have heard that admission, “you been nothing but nice to me from the start. Nicer ‘n anyone ever been out here. You looked out for me, and… I dunno. Nobody did that for me before. Mama mostly let me catch my own food. Had to run by myself a lot. So you can’t be bad, ‘cause you’re good to me.”

Catra choked up a little. He was uncomplicated and earnest, and it hit home in a way she hadn’t expected.  
“I’ll take you to Brightmoon, like I promised,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady, “and I’ll find you a good home. People who’ll look after you.”

“I kinda want you to look after me.”

Catra blinked. She had not seen _that_ coming.  
“What? Um- no. I’d be terrible at that. I’m… not good with kids. It’s a lot of work. No way.”

“You’re doin’ okay so far, aren’t you? I’m not too hungry, and I’m safe.”

“We have very different ideas of both of those things.”

Freddie said nothing, but she saw his ears fold down.

“…tell you what, though,” she added, feeling guilty, “I’ll still be your friend. I’ll show you around the whispering woods.”

“Promise?” said Freddie, lighting up.

“Sure, bud. Just don’t get ahead of yourself, okay? One thing at a time. We still got a long way to go.”

Eventually, Catra felt okay to get going again. She didn’t feel _good_ in any sense of the word, but she was at least stable enough to get walking. Shooting paranoid glances around her, she headed down the little mountain with Freddie in tow.

******************

They were lucky enough to find good shelter as the night started to close in. A small cave, its entrance hidden behind dead bushes, it was an ideal hiding place. After checking it carefully, Catra settled in against a wall, not quite ready to sleep. She was afraid of what would wait for her when she did.  
Freddie sat down beside her. He had seemed weirdly spirited ever since they had gotten walking. It was a bit strange already- he barely seemed to miss his mother, he had suggested she kill people, and…  
Well, these were the wastelands. They were bound to mess you up somehow. If she… could teach him something better, give him a reason to care, then maybe…  
She scoffed. What was she going to do, take him in permanently? She was _not_ ready for anything like that. She would probably make a mess of it, and make worse an already bad case. 

But still, she couldn’t help but want to do _something._ It seemed wrong that a child should take death so lightly.

“Hey, Freddie?” she muttered.

“Uh huh?” he said. He was leaned up against her, still and quiet.

“Remember the other day, when you asked me why I wouldn’t kill those two on patrol?”

“Sure.”

“I didn’t have a good answer for why back then.”

“Sure you did. People would notice they were missing. Bodies gotta be hidden, and stuff.”

“That’s true,” Catra said, nodding slowly and putting an arm around Freddie, “but that’s not the real reason.”

Freddie sounded puzzled.  
“I don’t get it.”

“You saw me back there, didn’t you? When I… broke down a little.”

“Yeah. It was a little scary.”

“That’s the reason,” said Catra firmly, “when you do bad things, it hurts you too. It harms you. It makes you a worse person, even if you had a good reason for doing it. If you do it enough, you turn bad even if you thought you were doing it for the right reasons. That’s it, Fred. That’s why we don’t kill unless we _absolutely have to._ If it’s to protect you or someone you love and you got no other way, but that’s the only time when it’s okay.”

He fell quiet, and Catra looked at his face, the fading sunlight leaving them both in a gloom.  
“So… it makes you bad. Because it hurts you too?”

Catra nodded.  
“The whole wastes seem to work that way. People have nothing, so they get ruthless with each other for what little there is. Everyone is bad to everyone, because that’s how they survive. If you grew up here, you’d turn out the same. That is why I want to take you to Brightmoon,” said Catra, realizing the truth of what she said only as she spoke the words, “because I want you to have a chance to be good. I was a terrible person once, but somebody gave me a chance. You deserve that too.”

“That’s nice, I guess,” said Freddie.

“Damn right,” Catra said, ruffling his hair, “and you better appreciate it, got that?”  
She smiled, and Freddie laughed. She scratched his ears, and she heard him purr. Catra paused for a second, a little shocked. She would only purr when she was around Adora, feeling safe and comfortable. Slowly, she continued to scratch his ears. Soon, she was purring too.

***************************

Knark was, among the Sand Snakes, a legend in his own right. He stood eight feet tall, and he was broad of shoulder, built like a rock. The skulls of his fallen adversaries hung from his neck as good luck trinkets, and grim reminders to his enemies and allies alike just what happened to anyone who dared cross him. His bony, ridged head was riddled with scars, scars that continued down to his chest and legs. It was a testament to a lifetime’s worth of aggression and brutality, starting from when he was a mere hatchling and continuing until right now. He had carved his way through life for over four decades, earning himself a name along the northern tribes of the lizardfolk. When he walked through the camp, dragging his heavy tail behind him lazily, people parted quickly. They knew better than to show any sign of disrespect.

Knark had earned his way to the top the hard way, through blood and claw and sheer force of will, and it had earned him as much wealth and respect as one could among his people. Yet when he approached Boss Puff Adder’s yurt, even his cold-blooded heart beat faster. He feared only one thing in life, and he was walking right toward it.

“Boss Adder?” he said, lifting the cloth acting as a door aside. He fell onto one knee, staring down. He knew how to demand respect, but more importantly he knew how to give it. It had kept him alive where other underbosses had fallen.

“What?”  
The voice was a confident rasp, nowhere near the baritone rumble of his subordinate, but all the more intimidating. It was the kind of voice you could sharpen a knife on, the kind of voice that sounded like it could grind down rocks. Knark could make him out in the gloom, at least a head shorter than his own hulking form, red eyes piercing through the half-dark.

“It’s about Big Rumble Pass, Boss Adder,” said Knark, his voice gentle and submissive.

“Did we get anything good? I know you wouldn’t disturb me if we didn’t.”

Knark swallowed nervously.  
“Thing is… I sent out Bolg, Korak and Kam to keep watch like always before just yesterday. They ain’t come back yet. They were supposed to be here half a day ago.”

“You’re here to tell me your boys are incompetent, that it?”

“No, boss,” said Knark, shaking his head, “they done good work before, and they know better ‘n being late. Them bein’ late means… they’re probably gone.”

Like the serpent he was named for, Adder shot forward, a hand closing around Knark’s throat. The underboss yelped as he saw his Boss’ face up close, his wide mouth and ridged forehead only inches away from Knark’s face. He could see the fangs.

“You’re tellin’ me somebody offed _our people?”_ Hissed Adder. “Here? _On our turf?”_

“I sent a runner to check it out,” Knark yelped, “but I didn’t want to keep you in the dark, boss!”

Adder’s yellow, piercing eyes stared into Knark’s. The underboss felt himself shaking, his breathing getting ragged as the grip around his throat tightened.

“Find out what happened, Knark,” hissed Adder, “get a party together and scour the wastes. I wanna know who has the gall to come into _my lands_ and take what’s mine. They belonged to me, just like you do, just like everything else here does. Hunt ‘em down and bring ‘em to me.”

Knark felt the grip on his throat ease as he was shoved onto his back.  
“Y-yes, Boss Adder!” he said quickly, rubbing his sore throat, feeling greatly relieved, “Right away, Boss!”

“Don’t come before me until you got ‘em,” hissed Adder, “or I’ll make an _example_ of you. The next time I see you, I better see some results. Now get out of my sight!”

Grateful to be alive, Knark scrambled out of the tent-like structure. Thankfully, Adder seemed to have been in a good mood this time. The underboss straightened himself up, immediately resuming the image of a confident leader, heading to find his own little squad. He had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old wounds resurface, but Catra finds comfort in the most unexpected places- but her troubles have only just begun.


	5. Cliffhanger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They went over the edge, boss!” came the tracker’s frightened voice from above, “They saw you comin’ and went tumbling. Saw it myself.”
> 
> “Get down here!” snarled Knark, staring out over the edge. He could see something tumble, alright. It looked like the fall had triggered a small landslide down the canyon side. 
> 
> “If they fell, they’re dead for sure,” said Kragg flatly, having dropped down to the ledge smoothly.

Freddie woke first. Catra was fast asleep, and deciding she needed her rest, the boy wormed out of the folds of her cloak, wandering around in the little cave. There wasn’t much to explore, but he was determined to do it anyway. After chasing a grasshopper around for a few minutes, excitedly play-hunting the little creature, he tripped and fell just near the cave entrance. His tail waved impatiently in the air as he stared out. He wanted to go outside and look around.  
Catra wouldn’t beat him if he did. She was too nice. She just… talked to him. But on the other hand, even though Freddie was just an excited little kid, he had lived long enough to know that the wastes were dangerous. He remembered what she had said just the other day. _Just one mistake_ could cost you everything.  
In the end, his self-preservation won out as he hungrily stared at the rocky landscape just outside the dead bushes. So many little hidey-holes to find, so many new things to see…

He looked back at Catra, dead asleep. He didn’t really get her. He’d only met her three days ago, and his life had turned around completely since. He’d lost his mama and that was a bit sad, but on the other hand he wasn’t hungry anymore and nobody ever slapped him. That was still a little weird to him. He had been doing all sorts of things his mama had hated, like running around, talking too much, asking too many questions… and she hadn’t done anything. Raised her voice a little maybe, but that was nothing. And she was always watching him. Freddie had been looking after himself for the most part, ever since he was old enough to feed himself, usually only coming back home when he needed to sleep. Having somebody worry about him all the time was a bit weird. He’d thought it was annoying at first, but somehow it wasn’t so bad.

She told great stories. That was the best part. She’d been upset last night so he hadn’t badgered her for a story, but it was what he looked forward to now. Hearing about the world outside, where things were green and people could have nice things, and there were great things to see everywhere. Castles the size of a mountain, more people than anyone could count in one place, water as far as you could see…  
He was pretty sure she was fibbing. It couldn’t all be that great. Things never were. But she had given him this jacket without thinking twice, and she told him about all these great things… and if she was lying, what was in it for her? It’s not like he had any stuff she needed, and even if he did, she could just take it. Maybe it was all real. And he’d get to see it!

Freddie’s face split into a cheery grin at the thought. Seeing the outside world. Meeting She-Ra. Finding nice things, and safe places to hide. It was all he could ever have wanted.  
Turning back to the mouth of the cave, splayed out on a rock, he decided to wait. He’d wake her up in a bit, when he got too hungry to wait for breakfast. He stared out into the distance, stared, and…

Freddie’s ears stood upright with surprise, the fur on his body standing up.

********************

Catra woke with a start. Freddie was rustling her, gently shoving her shoulder back and forth.

“What-“ she muttered groggily, but Freddie interrupted her. 

“Ssssshhh!” he hissed, a finger over his mouth. Catra instantly woke up, scanning the cave.

“What’s going on?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“Saw somethin’ outside. Just onna ridge down the way, way off.”

“What did you see?”

“Figured it was nothin’ at first, but I saw it pop up in the same place three times, looking our way.”

“Stay here,” Catra whispered, crawling across the cave floor, “actually- come with me. Show me where. Just keep low.”

Freddie didn’t need to be told. On their bellies, they made their way to the mouth of the cave. Freddie pointed eagerly to a small cliff in the distance, maybe five hundred feet from the way they had come. For a few minutes, there was nothing, and Catra started to wonder if it had been his imagination. Then she saw something, a head rearing up from a concealed position, scanning the area. Catra reached into her satchel, producing her binoculars. Zooming in close, she saw the snout of a long-faced lizardfolk, cloaked and wearing the same kind of bone charms she had seen on the three they had faced on the mountain yesterday.

“A scout,” Catra whispered, “no- a tracker. This isn’t somebody looking for people in general. It’s looking for something _specific._ ”

“Looking for us,” said Freddie. It was a statement, not a question. 

“Probably,” Catra said, putting her binoculars down, “and even if he isn’t, we should still act like he does.”

“What do we do?” said Freddie.

“If we go right out this way, he’ll see us for sure.”

“We could run real fast, find a hidey hole. He’s not lookin’ this way all the time.”

Catra looked outside the cave. The terrain was rough and craggy, sure, but the area around the cave was painfully flat and open. Worse, it was an old dried-out riverbed, and they’d have to trek miles before they could find someplace to climb up its narrow walls.

“Only if there’s nothing else we can do,” said Catra, turning back into the cave. Damn it! 

She retreated back to where she had slept, sitting down to think. They might just have to run for it. The tracker could have had a partner, could already have seen them and sent word, and every moment they spent here could mean time for their pursuers to catch up and trap them here.  
But he might not have. Catra took a couple deep breaths, forcing herself to calm. She hated running. She was not used to running away, not from her enemies. _Normally,_ she would have walked out there, confronted him and improvised. But that way of thinking came from her old self, with less to live for, and more practically, without a small child to care for.  
The tracker seemed to not look their way all too often, once every few minutes. That implied he wasn’t sure exactly _where_ they were, which meant they might have some time. Maybe if they timed it, ran out into the open and tried to find cover…

“Hey, Catra?”

“What?” Catra snapped. 

Unbothered by her sharp response, Freddie looked to her excitably. He stood further back in the cave, toward the very end in the dark.

“I think I got somethin’.”

The ‘something’ turned out to be a narrow, narrow passage. The cave wasn’t sealed tightly after all, with just a little bit of light trickling out. The passage seemed to lead up, perhaps only ten feet long until it hit ground.

“I’ll go outside and check,” said Freddie, “and maybe we can find a way to shake ‘em.”

“Wait,” said Catra. She felt a little… iffy. Sending him out there on his own, when she should try herself? Why should he take the risk?  
On the other hand, he clearly knew his way around the wastes, and he’d fit in there more easily than she could- she wasn’t sure it would even be physically possible for her to get through it. 

“I’ll have a look by the cave opening,” she said, “I’ll signal you when he’s looking away. Keep low, don’t let him see you.”

When she was sure the coast was clear, or at least as sure as she could be, she gave Freddie the thumbs up. The boy scrambled up the passage, and Catra waited anxiously. He passed through quickly. There was a bit of rustling as he crept outside, then things fell quiet.  
Catra stared out through the opening, totally on edge. What would she do if she heard him cry out? She had no plan, no recourse. What if he needed help, what if he got found out and captured? Taken, or… killed. It would be on her.  
She took another long, deep set of breaths, forcing some measure of calm. Nothing ever got better from working yourself up. She had done this before, she told herself, sent people to take calculated risks because it was necessary.  
But that had been with grown soldiers, and the Catra that had done that was a Horde commander.

It was a little weird. She’d known him for all of three days. She had no obligations to him, not really. If he did die along the way, she could honestly say she had done all she could. It’s not like she had expected to walk into… this. It’s not like she had any reason to care _this much._  
But despite all that, she felt an overwhelming worry. She wanted to take him away from all this, give him a better life- he deserved it. He deserved the kind of life she hadn’t gotten. If he was… hurt or killed, it would break her heart. She remembered Huntara’s words. _Not your responsibility._  
Adora would be proud of her. That much, she was sure of. Taking in a stray and protecting him at all costs was _exactly_ the kind of cheesy thing she would do.  
“You’ve been rubbing off on me, haven’t you?” she muttered.

Great. Now she was talking to herself.  
But even so, if Adora would approve, then she couldn’t be doing it wrong. That was always something.

She wasn’t sure how long it took. _Too long_ was the only measure of time she could think of. But eventually, she heard a rustle up the little passage, and soon enough Freddie came crawling back, an excited grin on his face.

“Are you okay?” said Catra, putting her hands on his shoulders, checking him. “You didn’t hurt yourself?”

“I’m _fine,_ sheesh,” said Freddie, his cheer undampened. He had a few scrapes, and he was a bit dustier than before, but nothing seemed to be wrong with him.

“Well, what did you see?”

“The hole leads uphill. There’s cover too. If you can get through it, we can totally shake this guy. I went all the way up the hill, crawling on my belly, and there’s no way anyone could see.”

“You’re sure?”

“Super sure,” Freddie insisted, “there’s dead bushes and lots of rocks and stuff. We can keep our heads down real good.”

Catra nodded. She sized the passage up. It was narrow to the max, at the very limit of what she could crawl through. Normally, she wouldn’t even have considered it.

“Freddie, take my bag and my cloak through first,” she said firmly. She needed to strip down a bit, make sure nothing got stuck.

“You got it,” said Freddie excitably, taking the bag and cloak from her. She watched him climb through it again, struggling to haul her heavy pack and cloak. He managed, although he had to rest at one point. Catra watched carefully.  
Freddie fit there. He had _some_ room to move. The passage was a narrow split in the cliff, fairly even, but very, very small. She had to try.

“Well, here goes nothing,” she muttered. 

Tentatively, she approached the passage. She felt it out with her hands, gave it one last doubtful stare, then exhaled and did her best to flatten herself. Pressing into the gap felt difficult at first, and it quickly started becoming claustrophobic. Every inch she gained took excruciating effort, her claws digging into the rock to try and shove her forward little by little. 

“You can do it!” Freddie hissed encouragingly from the other side, keeping his voice down.

Catra heard it only distantly. She could barely breathe. She couldn’t physically breathe in all the way, the rocks pressing against her chest from both sides. Her breaths came in short bursts, never quite as much as she wanted. Trying her hardest to focus, she continued to climb. She was moving upward, but getting herself up wasn’t the problem. She couldn’t have fallen if she tried.  
Somehow, she had gotten halfway there. It was as if time had stopped meaning anything. She felt as if she was being crushed, like the earth was closing in around her any moment to swallow her up. Her head was spinning, partly from the lack of air and partly from the fear rising in her chest.

“Freddie, talk to me,” she hissed. She needed something to keep her focused right now. She felt like she was being drowned, like the dark was taking her. Not the dark of her past fears or anxieties, just a primal sense of _not wanting to die_ while being trapped.

“Uhh…” Freddie said, “keep goin’? You’re getting there.”

“Tell me about the wastes,” she grunted, “the way you’d catch lizards. Anything. Just keep going.”

“Oh. Uh… well, they like it sunny, but when it gets too sunny they go hide under the rocks. You just have to know which rocks to look for, and then you pounce on ‘em. Sometimes, they fight back…”

Catra nodded, grunted, and focused on his voice as she pushed herself forward. She felt her skin scraped more than once, and she knew there would be tufts of fur on her that would need growing out again.  
Then it happened. She was stuck. No matter how hard she tried, she could not move forward. Her breathing got faster, and she almost panicked. She reached out an arm, her claws digging into sand. She was so close.

“You got it!” Freddie said eagerly, “it’ll get a bit wider if you just push past. You can do it!”

“I can’t- I can’t-“ Catra said, her voice faint, “it’s too much, I…”

“You gotta take me to Brightmoon,” said Freddie, “you _promised_. Don’t stop tryin’!”

Somehow, Catra found it in her to stop the darkness from swallowing her. Brightmoon. Adora. She would make it back. This was not how she was going to go out. Her breathing steadied, as much as it could. Then she exhaled as much air as she could at once, her feet spraining against the cliff while her hands dug in, and she _pushed._ At first she didn’t move at all, and panic nearly took her again, but she kept going. It _hurt,_ but suddenly she moved forward half an inch, then another inch. Slowly, running out of air, she managed to drag herself forward.  
The passage widened, just like Freddie had said, and Catra greedily sucked in a breath of air. Frantically she climbed forward, pulling herself free at last. She scrambled out like a frightened animal, collapsing on the dusty ground. She saw stars for a moment, lying there on her back, just breathing.

“You made it!” Freddie said excitably, rubbing her arm.

“Yeah…” Catra murmured. “I’m not doing _that_ again. Ever.”

She took a quick rest, just regaining her bearings, then looked up. They were on a dense ridge lined with rocks and bushes. High up, away from the riverbed they’d been following. She looked back the way she’d come. Let that tracker try and come through that way.

“Alright, let’s go,” she muttered, grabbing her cloak and bag. They had much ground to cover still.

***************************

Ikkit was not having a good day. Boss Knark had rounded him up last night along with a handpicked team of trackers and fighters, with the order to track down an intruder. Ikkit had found the trail, but after hours of scouting he had turned up empty. He had dreaded turning back, and with good reason. Knark held him by the scruff of his cloak, and Ikkit was all too aware of how quickly those massive, clawed hands could turn him to paste.

“What do you _mean_ you lost ‘em?” growled the underboss.

“I- I followed like you said, but the trail went cold. Too dark. Lost the scent, so I set up camp on an overlook. I didn’t see ‘em anywhere. They was gone when I checked-“

Knark’s hand closed around Ikkit’s throat. The massive lizardkin lifted him up, dangling him off the edge of the cliff where they had all met. Under Ikkit’s feet were hundreds of feet of dead air, leading to the bottom of a ravine.

“You lost how much time losing them?” snarled Knark, “Six hours? Seven? They could be _anywhere!_ ”

“They can’t have gone far!” said Ikkit desperately, clinging to his boss’ arm, “Boss, I swear, I can find ‘em again. Only you told me to report back-“

“I told you to _find them_ ,” snarled Knark, baring his fangs. “If I don’t get my hands on the bastard who did this boss Adder will have my head, and trust me when I say I’ll have all of your heads first if we don’t get ‘im!”

Ikkit’s feet kicked at bare air, and he tried not to look down.

“Boss.”  
The voice, flat and neutral, was like salvation for Ikkit. Walking up the path to their lookout was Kragg, a lean tracker with a pointy snout, and an eye almost overgrown by old scar tissue.

“What?” snarled the underboss, turning his head. “You better have a good reason, or I’m dropping you over the edge next!”

“Picked up their trail, boss,” said Kragg. He seemed unphased by his boss’ tone, as unnervingly calm as ever. He never failed to show proper respect, but he never seemed intimidated by his boss. Not by anyone, or anything. 

“If you picked up their trail, why are you here?” snarled Knark.

“Sent Tiqal to keep up with ‘em. He’ll leave a trail for us to follow.”

The underboss seemed to relax just a little bit.  
“What do you know?” he demanded.

“Catfolk,” said Kragg, “one big, one hatchling. Found hairs scraped off by a rock passage. Bit of blood. They’re light footed so they’ll move fast, but they ain’t from around here. Don’t know what they’re doing.”

“How d’you know that?” demanded Knark. 

“Because they’re heading northeast,” said Kragg. “If I was trying to avoid the Sand Snakes, I would go anywhere but that direction. They’re going up the Suntooth canyon.”

“…damn,” said Knark, before lighting up with a big grin. Ikkit knew why, just as well as anyone else there. The end of the canyon led right into the Sunmaul valley, where the Snakes made their camps. There would be several outposts there, and plenty of lookouts. There were many places to hide out here, but not in the canyon, mapped out by years of patrolling.

“Trapped like rats. Maybe two days of travel before they’re stuck.” Said Kragg.

“We got ‘em,” said Knark triumphantly, “how many hours ahead?”

“Three and gaining.”

Knark turned to Ikkit. For a moment, the terrified lizardman wondered if he would drop him after all, but his underboss opened his mouth, and hissed,  
“You’re damn lucky I need every tracker I got right now.”

With one swift motion, he flung Ikkit away from the edge and into the cliff face. Gasping for air, Ikkit rubbed his sides, grateful to be alive. He scrambled to his feet, knowing his boss had no tolerance for weakness.

“Alright,” boss Knark rumbled, turning to the group, “Boss Adder gave us a job, and we’re going to get it done. You know what to do. Kragg, lead the way!”

Ikkit took up the rear, running behind the group. Four trackers, two warriors and an underboss. Those Catfolk were dead meat.

**********************

The sun beat down mercilessly. Adora sat in the shade of a large rock, trying to get comfortable. They had decided to break for lunch, and Glimmer had teleported away. It had taken some very careful memorization of their surroundings. Even though she could teleport anywhere on Etheria, being exact wasn’t possible unless she knew just where she was going.  
Leaned back and just enduring the heat of the mid-day sun, Adora tried to think about anything except her. Which wasn’t working, of course; Catra had been the only thing on her mind for the last three days. She had gotten a _little_ used to it, in the sense that she didn’t feel a slowly creeping sense of panic all the time, but it wasn’t much of an improvement.  
Because this was the wastes, and even when she was being _perfectly reasonable_ there was no way around the fact that it was a dangerous place, one that could easily kill you. If they had gone through all of that together, only for things to end up like this…

Before Adora could truly sink into the usual sense of doom and gloom, there was a bright pink glow as Glimmer teleported in with a tray of sandwiches and a healthy amount of bottled water.

“Sorry it took so long. The kitchen staff is still a little bit weirded out about… this whole situation,” said Glimmer, sitting down opposite Adora, carefully putting down the tray in between them. 

“No, it’s… it’s fine,” Adora muttered, absentmindedly picking up one of the sandwiches. 

“We’ll find her,” said Glimmer firmly. “But we need our strength, so let’s eat first and worry later, okay?”

They ate in silence, a heavy atmosphere between them. Glimmer had tried to lighten the mood in their search so far, tried to reassure her at every turn. Adora loved her for it, and it did help, but it didn’t do much.

“Look,” said Glimmer after they had finished, “I know you can’t not think about her. I’d be worried sick if it was Bow. So… maybe it’d be better if you talked about it?”

“I don’t know… she’s missing, she’s out there, and the worst could happen. What else is there to say, huh?”  
She was being snappy. She realized it as she spoke, and felt ashamed. Glimmer didn’t deserve that.  
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, “it’s just…”

“You don’t have to say that. _I get it_ ,” said Glimmer encouragingly. “If there’s any time you get to be a little less than chipper, now would be it.”

“I… I just miss her, that’s all. Can you believe I told her I wanted space before all this went down?”

“What was that about?”

“Um… well, we spent almost every part of every day together. All the time. It was great at first, but after doing it for so long…”  
She shook her head, irritably.

“And now you wish you could go back to that.”

Adora nodded.  
“The whole thing is my fault. She- she’s always been insecure. I knew she’d take it the wrong way. It wasn’t a big deal, but I just had to open my stupid mouth about it.”

“It’s not your fault, Adora. You couldn’t have known. She asked for some space. Nobody could have-“

“Well, it doesn’t feel like it!” Adora said angrily.

“Alright,” said Glimmer, “how _does_ it feel?”

Adora took a deep breath, a lump forming in her throat.  
“Like I scared her away. Like I might lose her, and it’s all my fault.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“…sure. It’s just…”

“Yes?”

Adora swallowed, trying to calm down a little.  
“She’s scared too. Even if- even if she’s had therapy and worked on herself, _really hard_ , deep down she still thinks I’m too good for her. That one day I won’t want her anymore. And… that makes _me_ afraid. Like one day she’ll leave, thinking it’s for my own good or some stupid thing like that.”

“Have you told her that?”

“Sort of. Uh. Not… exactly. I mean, we talk. We resolved a lot of things. These last two years have been… amazing.”

She smiled despite herself, thinking back.  
“I never had a relationship before. I didn’t know what to expect, and Catra… she’s not exactly normal.”

“You can say that again,” Glimmer said with a snort.

“But it’s like… there’s all these small, wonderful things. Like taking morning jogs together, if I can get her out of bed. Or- or just sharing things. Making breakfast for her. Telling some corny joke I know will make her roll her eyes and call me dumb. Just waking up next to her and looking at her breathe. The sound of her purring next to me…”  
Adora shook her head, slightly at a loss for words.  
“It just makes me so happy, I don’t even know how to describe it. She’s there for me, and I’m there for her. It’s…”

“The best.”

Adora nodded.  
“Yeah.”

“We’ll find her,” Glimmer reassured her. “She’s not leaving you, not one way or the other.”

Adora nodded, wishing she could feel as sure as Glimmer sounded. 

*************************

Things were oddly quiet as they travelled. They had come into a canyon, miles wide, and they were travelling alongside the same craggy, hilled path they had found leading away. They were veering slightly off course, but at this point, Catra was willing to accept that if it meant shaking their pursuers.  
There were signs of life every now and then. Dried-out faeces littering the path here and there, the odd bit of cloth stuck to a bush, and at one point Catra saw what looked like a sandy nest with little bits of broken eggshells in them. It made her uneasy. This was a travelled path, unlike the vast wilderness they had come through. She thought about turning back, but for all she knew they’d run right into a pursuing war party. That sentry might have stayed in place to keep a lookout, and then they’d be made.

There were no right calls, because she didn’t have the information. If she had been experienced with the wastes like Huntara she could maybe have made a better judgment, but she wasn’t. All she had was herself. She just had to keep going and hope it was the right call.

“Let’s take a break,” she said. Freddie had been staggering a little the last hour or so, and it was about time to eat anyway. They sat down in the shadow of a large rock, and Catra grabbed a bit of drying bread.  
Her pack was getting lighter. They had used their food and water sparingly, and they had already used up about half of it. They still had a ways to go, and if this detour took long enough, it might add a day. Could they make it that far, in this kind of climate?

“Catra?”

Grateful for the distraction, Catra turned to Freddie, who had just chewed down the last of the stale bread like it were gourmet food. 

“Yeah, kid?”

“We’re doing okay, aren’t we?”

“We’re getting closer every day,” said Catra, hesitant to say anything too definitive. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she didn’t want to make him afraid either.  
“It’s going to be a bit of a detour-“

“What’s a detour?”

“It means it takes longer than expected because we’re not going the way we thought we were. Maybe half a day, maybe a day. Depends on the terrain.”

“You know, I never ever been this far in my life,” said Freddie, staring out across the canyon, “I wandered a bit sometimes, but never too far away. It’s kinda cool.”

Catra looked out over the landscape. When you set aside how dangerous it was, how full it was of things that could kill them, the Crimson Wastes had a rugged kind of beauty to them. There was something about the jagged lines of cliff that felt… majestic to look at, grander than any spire on any castle.

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully, “kinda cool.”

“And this is just the wastes. You told me there’s a way bigger world out there.”

“Yeah.”

“I wanna see it all,” said Freddie eagerly, “I wanna go all around the world and see everything.”

“That’s good. Everyone should have a goal in life. I’ve never been crazy about exploring, but… I _have_ seen a lot of different places. I even went to space.”

“What’s space?”

“Outside the world, where it’s all dark and you can’t breathe. It’s… difficult to explain.”

“If you can’t breathe, how’d you go there?”

“Well, we had this ship that could fly, and it had air in it.”

“…okay,” said Freddie, seeming to process that. 

“It’s hard to believe, I get it.”

“Sometimes it feels like you _gotta_ be lying,” Freddie admitted, “but people who lie do it ‘cause they got a reason. I don’t think you got one, so you might not be. It’s just…”

“A lot.”

He nodded.  
They fell silent for a little while, just resting in the shade. 

“Hey, Catra?”

“Mmm?” said Catra, who had halfway shut her eyes, weary from their travels.

“I was sorta wonderin’…”

“About what?”

“Yesterday.”

Catra opened her eyes wide and sat up straight.

“If it’s alright,” he added quickly, “you don’t got to say nothing.”

“You can ask. If I don’t want to answer you, I won’t.”

“That’s fair,” Freddie said with a nod. “I was just thinking… you always seemed like you knew what’s what. And um, you do. But you were all… I mean, there’s like a rule in the wastes, right? You don’t look weak. And I know you ain’t _weak_ , but…”

“I was.” 

“Huh?”

“I was weak. Then and there. The thing is, it is okay to be weak sometimes. It might not be the best time when you’re out in a dangerous place like this, but… it is okay.”

“Huh,” said Freddie, seeming to struggle more with that idea than with the space ship. 

“The thing is, I’ve done a lot of bad things before. Like I told you then, remember?”

“You’re not bad,” said Freddie quickly.

“I’m not, I know,” said Catra, “well, most of the time… Anyway, I _was_ bad. I hurt a lot of people I care about. And if you aren’t a bad person, then doing bad things makes you feel ashamed. And… when I saw the way you looked at me, it just reminded me of how I used to be, in a really big way. So… I just had to get away.”

“I’m sorry.”

He sounded genuinely sad, and Catra shook her head.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not my fault either. It just happens. Sometimes when I see something that reminds me of the bad things I’ve been through it makes me that way, where I just panic and can’t really hold myself together.”

“All the time?”

“I talk about it with Adora, and with… another friend. It’s not nearly as bad as it used to be. But it’s still there. You helped, you know.”

“I did?”

“I was saying a lot of things about myself that weren’t nice. It makes things worse. You told me I was wrong. It helped a bit. Calmed me down a little. So… you did alright, Fred.”

Freddie brightened up, a wide smile on his face.  
“Really?”

“For sure,” said Catra, nodding.

“Well, I dunno,” said Freddie, his chest puffing up with pride, “I just said what made sense, you know? Wasn’t _that_ hard.”

”It was still good.”

Freddie chuckled. Catra smiled, despite the worries plaguing her.

”Hey, Catra?”

“Yeah?”

“You said you know She-Ra. _The_ She-Ra.”

“Better than anyone.”

“What’s she like?”

“It’s… a lot to explain.”

He looked at her expectantly, and Catra realized she wasn’t getting off the hook that easily.

“Tell you what,” she said, “why don’t I start from the beginning? I might as well tell you the whole story of She-Ra.”

Freddie lit up, eyes wide. He purred, beaming with excitement.

“The whole story?”

“Well, as much of it as I have time for before we need to get going again. It’s not something you can tell in a hurry.”

Freddie looked a little disappointed, but nodded quickly.  
“Okay.”

“Well, like I told you, Adora and I were raised together in the Horde. We had the same mama, except she wasn’t much of one… her name was Shadow Weaver, and she only cared about using people. But as hard as things were, Adora and I had each other. But then, one day when we had just graduated, ready to become full Horde soldiers, Adora went out into the forest and found this mystical sword…”

Freddie listened, spellbound. Somehow, the story came easier to Catra than she had expected. She usually felt nothing but shame when she thought of that time of her life, but told as a story it was… different, like it was somebody else’s life playing before her.

********************

Ikkit blazed the trail ahead of him, eager to prove to his boss that he was worth more alive than dead. They had made good progress the last few hours. The catfolk seemed to move more slowly than anticipated, and they left plenty of tracks. Kragg had been right- these two didn’t seem to know their way around the wastes too well.  
He paused the half-sprint he had been keeping, kneeling by a small footprint.

“What?” snarled boss Knark, “Why are you stopping?”

“Figured something out, boss,” said Ikkit hastily, “look here.” 

He pointed at the small footprint, partially blown away by the winds. 

“Claws. It’s catfolk feet. What about it?” 

“The scent is fresh. They passed by not long ago. We’re gaining, and fast. The hatchling must be slowing ‘em down. And if they follow this path…”

He looked up the mountainous, narrow path their prey had headed up.

“Treacherous ground,” said Knark, nodding. “We’ll know it better than them, won’t we?”

“We could catch up to them by nightfall at this pace,” Ikkit said eagerly.

“Careful,” said Kragg levelly, “they might not be from round here, but catfolk are right at home in places like these. Light-footed buggers, faster on their feet than the likes of us. If we come in making lots of noise, they could make it real difficult.”

“Sod that,” Knark growled, “Ikkit, lead the way! I want ‘em found, and I want ‘em found now.”

*********************

“Catra! Hey, Catra!”

They had been walking at a slow pace through the mountainous ridge, taking care not to fall. There were many opportunities to do so, and more than once they’d had to jump across a chasm, hundreds of feet of air under them each time. Freddie had made himself useful, keeping an eye out as much as Catra.  
Right now, she was eyeing a slope that required some careful climbing when Freddie’s hushed cry interrupted her thoughts. 

“What?” she said, dropping to one knee.

“I saw somethin’,” he said, pointing toward the way from where they had come.

Catra nodded, and headed back. They had just rounded a sizeable rock, and it provided decent cover when she leaned around it.

“Where?”

Freddie pointed into the distance. At first, Catra didn’t see much, but far away- over a mile off- she saw movement. _Sharp eyes_ , she thought. Reaching for her binoculars, she got a closer look.

“Damn,” she muttered.

“It’s bad?” asked Freddie anxiously.

“I count at least five- no, six lizardfolk. They’re going the same way we came.”

“This is their home turf, ain’t it?” said Freddie, his voice shaking, “Gangers always know their turf better. They’ll catch up to us, and-“

“Freddie, calm down,” said Catra levelly, putting the binoculars back into the bag and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“But there’s lots of ‘em, and they’re coming right for us.”

“They might catch up, sure… unless we throw them off our trail,” said Catra, thinking. “I’ll think of something.”

They climbed upward, heading into an ever narrower, ever higher part of the ridge. The path they took grew slimmer and slimmer, with dizzying heights just beneath them. Every other step, Catra couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder.  
They were being hunted. She had been able to take on three, but twice that number? On their home turf?

She’d fight if she had to, but she didn’t like those odds. 

She felt a lump growing in her chest, fear and helplessness mixing together like a dark void inside her. She had said she would think of something, but the truth was that she had no idea what that something was.  
She was the only thing between Freddie and a certain death. The kid was smart and crafty, but not _that_ smart. Even if he got away…  
He wouldn’t last.

That meant she _had_ to think of something. She racked her brains for something, anything. She had led the Horde to victory once. She had talked her way past a genocidal, megalomaniacal dictator. She was Catra, and she knew how to survive. She _would_ think of something.  
She glanced around the terrain. It was rickety and unsafe, and looked like it would be for miles. At this pace, their pursuers would catch up within hours. Rickety and unsafe…  
Lizardfolk weren’t exactly agile. They weren’t lithe and light, like the both of them. They might know the area better, but that didn’t necessarily mean they had the upper hand. A plan started to formulate in Catra’s head.

“Listen, Fred,” she said as they took a quick breather, “we’ll keep going for another hour or so. When I tell you, you need to stop and do exactly as I say when I say it, and no arguing. You understand?”

“S-sure,” Freddie said, nodding. He was scared, even if he tried to hide it. 

“I have an idea. I think we can handle this if we just find the right spot.”

“You gonna fight ‘em?”

“Not if I can help it. No, here’s what we’re going to do…”

**************

Excitably, tasting their scent on the wind, underboss Knark urged his war party forward. They were heading up the vulture’s path, one of the most treacherous ridges in the canyon. Normally he would have avoided it, but between this and facing Adder’s wrath, he knew which one he’d rather face.  
They had made good time despite the rough terrain. As one, the party ran up the ridge, leaping over a gaping chasm at speed, barely breaking their stride. 

“Close, close!” Ikkit called from the head of the group, gesturing eagerly.

“How close?” Demanded Knark.

“Fresh tracks, boss. Can’t be more than an hour ahead.”

There was a steep rock wall ahead of them. Knark threw himself at it first, heaving himself up in great leaps. This close, he felt the taste of them as his tongue flicked in the air. They had been here alright, climbing this wall not long ago.  
He heaved himself up over the wall’s edge and paused as he looked up. One by one, his gang climbed up behind him. They seemed confused as to why he had stopped- except, of course, Kragg.

“Your call, boss?” 

Knark stared at the path ahead of them. It had gotten narrow, so narrow it could barely accommodate him. Just one wrong step could be the end of them all.

“We’re not stopping,” he said, “but we’ll be taking it careful. Ikkit, take the lead. We’re hunting down those cats _today_.”

Ikkit looked uncertain, but knew better than to contradict his boss. Progress was slow. They had raced across the path before; now they were going at minimum speed. Knark felt frustrated. Had the catfolk picked this path on purpose?  
It wouldn’t matter, he told himself. His party was still right on their trail, and they didn’t know this ground. He had travelled this way before. All of them had, but never at speed. No, they couldn’t escape. They had bought themselves time at most. This path would eventually broaden, and when it did, his party would catch up easily.

An hour passed. Two hours passed. More than once, the war party almost lost a member to loose rubble, or a piece of rock not quite as solid as it seemed. Knark bit down his frustration, continuing to move. Patience was one of the hardest lessons he had learned on his path to leadership, but he _had_ learned it.  
Eventually, Ikkit raised a hand, and the war party halted.

“You got ‘em?” Knark growled quietly. Anything but good news would get the feeble tracker thrown off the cliffside.

“I got their scent maybe two hundred feet ahead,” whispered Ikkit, “you want me to scout ahead, boss? Or do we go in loud?”

Knark thought for a second.  
“Have a look. I don’t want ‘em running away or setting a trap.”

Ikkit nodded, and quietly crept up the narrow path.

*****************

“That enough?” said Freddie, piling up another rock. They were in plentiful supply up here. The trouble had been finding the exact right spot for this to work. It had taken the last two hours, but they had finally found the right place.

“It’ll have to do,” said Catra, inspecting the pile. A foot and a half high, it was respectable, neatly balanced just near the edge of a sandy, loose piece of dirt hanging off the path’s edge. It was a crude plan, and insanely dangerous at that. Not quite as dangerous as fighting an entire war party, but…  
Well, when you were desperate, you were desperate.

“Catra!” whispered Freddie. She looked up and saw a faint trail of dust running down from the cliff above them. She put a finger on her lips and nodded, before saying, just loud enough that she was sure it would carry,  
“Alright kid, a few more minutes and then we need to get moving. We got a long way to go.”

She looked up. They had been found, if not seen.  
“ _Now,_ ” she whispered. 

Nodding, Freddie climbed onto her back, holding on tightly. 

**************

“Just up ahead, boss,” Ikkit whispered eagerly, “they’re resting up, but they’re moving soon.”

“Then what’re we waiting for?” snarled Knark, “Kragg, Ikkit, circle round and keep an eye from above. The rest of you lot, on me. We’re taking those catfolk _now!_ ”

He moved, nearly ran, up the narrow path ahead. He was so close now, and soon he’d be able to get back to boss Adder with news that they got the little turf-breaker…  
Just as he was about to round a corner, he heard a startled noise. There was a loud rustle, and the sound of rocks tumbling. As he turned the corner, he saw a cloud of dust kicked up. Knark hurried up to the ledge, but nobody was there. Somebody _had_ rested here, but they were- gone. He looked around, seeing nothing.

“IKKIT!” he shouted furiously.

“They went over the edge, boss!” came the tracker’s frightened voice from above, “They saw you comin’ and went tumbling. Saw it myself.”

“Get down here!” snarled Knark, staring out over the edge. He could see something tumble, alright. It looked like the fall had triggered a small landslide down the canyon side. 

“If they fell, they’re dead for sure,” said Kragg flatly, having dropped down to the ledge smoothly. 

Knark stared down the canyon. They would have fallen a long way before tumbling even further. It would break your bones, and it’d be a one in a million chance to survive it.  
It was one too many.

“We’re making sure,” he hissed, “trackers, find us a way down there.”

******************

Catra held on for dear life. Freddie’s hands were clamped around her neck, while she herself desperately clung to a small rock outcropping, her feet digging into little cracks on the cliffside. They were hanging off the edge, a good two feet down. The angle had been perfect, sloping down such that nobody would see them unless they leaned down and had a good look. Which of course any one of them might do at any time, in which case they would both be dead. Catra took short, quiet breaths, staring up, expecting a scaled head to look down on her any second. Her claws dug into the rock, their sharp edge pushed to its limits against the hard stone.  
So far, it seemed to be working. It had been a pretty reckless plan, and Catra wouldn’t have considered it if she had any other option, but it had done the trick so far.

The moment they heard footsteps approaching, Catra had yelped and ‘fallen’ off the cliffside, latching on to the hold just beneath the path. As they dropped, she had knocked over the pile of rocks, which had kicked up a cloud of dust as they plummeted down to the dry earth on the ridge’s side. Rolling down the cliff, it looked exactly like something falling- and it would be impossible to tell it wasn’t a couple of magicats.  
She could hear them talking amongst themselves, only feet away. Her heart thumped like a jackhammer, but she forced herself to keep her cool. She had been in hairier situations, although not very many. If just one of them thought to look down, they’d be found and then it would be as easy as waiting for her to lose her grip. Between Freddie, her bag and the cloak, she could already feel the weight, despite the secure hold she had against the cliffside. 

The words stopped, and Catra felt an immense sense of relief as she heard the sound of feet moving, walking away. But despite her arms and feet aching, she wouldn’t climb up yet. She had heard them walk forward, the way they had been going, and there had been a fair bit of visibility up ahead. If they climbed up too fast, they would be spotted, and then they’d be right back where they started. Or worse, they might be waiting for her. It could just be a trap. If it were, there was absolutely nothing she could do. She had gambled on this, and if it didn’t work…  
She shook the thought away. 

The minutes passed in agonizing silence. It wasn’t until she started to feel her arms tremble that she realized it was now or never, that if she waited any longer she’d run out of strength.

“Go, go!” she muttered to Freddie, “You climb up first. I’ll be right behind you.”

Freddie gently heaved himself up, and Catra strained against the sudden extra weight when he put a foot on her shoulder, pulling himself up.

“Come on!” Freddie cried, extending a hand from above. Taking a deep breath, Catra tensed the muscles in her arms, her feet rising up to claw against the cliff wall. When she felt she had a secure hold, she _heaved_ up, lunging to get a grip, knowing that if she failed, she would fall. Her hand caught the edge of the path, and for a second she felt it slip against the dusty ground. Panic nearly took her, but Freddie’s little hands clasped around her wrist, holding it tightly.

“Come on, you gotta climb!” he urged.

Groaning, Catra slowly pulled herself up, her arms burning with the exertion. Finally, she got her upper body up onto the path, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she rolled onto the rocky path. In the distance, she could see the war party walking away. Quickly, she grabbed Freddie by the wrist, scrambling back around the corner. Breathing heavily, she lifted Freddie behind her and kneeled by the rock side, glancing around the corner. She didn’t dare use her binoculars, in case they caught the sunlight and gave off a glimmer. What she was able to make out, though, gave her some reassurance. The war party was moving away with relative haste, heading into the dense terrain of the mountain ridge. Soon, they’d be out of sight.

“They gone?” Freddie whispered.

Catra nodded.

“Soon. I just… I need a moment.”

She tucked her knees up against her chest, wrapping her tail around her legs. She buried her face in her hands. The immensity of the danger they had just evaded was starting to truly sink in. She hadn’t thought too hard about it, had actively tried not to, because it had not been a time for thinking.  
Now, she couldn’t hold the thoughts back anymore. 

_They were so close to dying. Fuck, they could have died in **so many ways.** That was **insane**. She could have killed the both of them just like that. This wasn’t like before, she had a lot to live for now, **so much** to live for-_

“Catra, are you okay?” said Freddie anxiously. “Is it like yesterday? Do you need help?”

“N-no, it’s not- I’m okay,” Catra said, only half lying. “I’m not having one of those kinds of bad thoughts. It’s just… that was very, very bad. It’s just like…”  
She shook her head, at a loss for words.  
“It’s a lot, you know?”

“I get it,” said Freddie. 

Catra felt an impulse to correct him, to tell him he didn’t understand, but she stopped herself. He had been hanging off that cliff with her.

“Actually,” he continued after a little pause, “it was kinda cool. I mean, it was super scary, but… it was a bit cool too.”

“You’re gonna have to explain that one to me, Fred,” Catra muttered.

“They were gonna catch us, but you figured it out. You totally tricked ‘em. You fixed it.”

He was practically beaming at her, and suddenly Catra felt the stress and tension ease a little. He believed in her. And… well, he hadn’t been wrong.

“Let’s try and not do that again, okay?” she muttered.

“…sure. So um, where we going now?”

“Back the way we came. If they wanna go on a wild goose chase in these heights, they can. We’re going back to the riverbed. It’s flatter land, and it’s closer to our route.”

“Man, we have to walk back all that way…” Freddie grumbled.

Catra didn’t blame him. This had more or less wasted half a day’s travel, and they were already running low on supplies. But compared to being hunted…

“Sometimes, life’s a bitch,” she said, shrugging, “complaining about it doesn’t help. We need to focus on what we can do, not what we wish we could have done.”

“I guess…”

“We take a quick breather, keep an eye out, then we go,” said Catra firmly.

To her surprise, Freddie didn’t argue. He just nodded. Catra nodded back and patted his head.

“We’ll be okay, kid,” she said, more to reassure herself than Freddie. 

Still four days to go. She realized she would probably have to pull this kind of stunt off more than once before this over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really isn't She-Ra if Catra isn't traumatized, right? Nevertheless she perseveres, but the worst is yet to come...


	6. Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ _Claw marks,_ ” said Adora, looking at a big, burly lizardkin. Familiar marks raked across his body. The blood had long since dried, but it was there, painting a gruesome picture. They ran across his chest in several places, and his throat was a bloodied, gory mess. Quickly, Adora ran over to inspect another body, a lankier lizard. Pulling up its head to expose the neck, there were smooth puncture marks running from under his chin, into his skull.
> 
> “She would go for the throat,” Adora murmured, “the fastest way to end it. She never messed around.”
> 
> “You think _Catra_ did this?”

The heat was starting to get to Glimmer. She was not built for long walks, and more than once she had regretted going against fast teleportation- just walking didn’t seem to do any better. The only reason she kept on going, biting back every complaint before it could leave her mouth, was the fact that… well, it was Catra. They had to find her, and that was that. They were traveling through a gulch, finding some precious shade against a cliff jutting out over them.  
Adora had become closed off. She had little to say, which didn’t make things easier. She seemed to put all her energy into the search, which Glimmer couldn’t fault her for. But still…

“There. What’s that?” Adora said, pointing to something in the distance.

“I dunno,” Glimmer groaned, “an oasis with fresh fruits and cold water?”

Adora ignored her wishful thinking, and Glimmer found herself jogging to keep up with Adora, as her best friend upped her pace.  
She could smell it before she got a good look at it. It wasn’t heinous just yet, but it was the unmistakable smell of something dead left out in the sun.

“It’s just a lizardkin,” said Glimmer as they got closer, “I mean, that’s very sad for them, but… you know, it’s not exactly what we’re looking for.”

Adora had kneeled by the corpse, inspecting it. It was a large, bulky lizard. There was dried blood all around him, his body twisted and broken.

“Why are we stopping?” Glimmer muttered, “I mean, I don’t mind a break, but there are better places to rest than around a corpse.”

“He’s stiff,” Adora said, running a hand over the corpse, “dead for at least a day, but not much longer. I think he must have… fallen. I don’t see any wounds on him. Nobody cut his throat or stabbed his belly.”

“That’s… great, yeah,” Glimmer muttered, “I guess we’re wasteland coroners now.”

“Where did it fall from?” muttered Adora, looking up, “It’s pretty flat here, except…”

“That huge rock up there?” Glimmer said, pointing to the massive rock formation above them. “Except for that one, yeah.”  
She was being a bit too sarcastic; she knew it but couldn’t quite help herself. The wasteland was taking a toll on her. Either way Adora seemed to not notice, or not care.

“It’s smooth rock up there,” she muttered, looking toward it, “where would he even have fallen from?”

“Does it matter?”

“Maybe,” Adora said, standing up and staring into the distance.  
“There,” she said, pointing up, “I think I see some sort of shelf up there. An opening.”

“What, all the way up there?” Glimmer said, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. It took her a while to see where Adora was pointing. It was hard to make out.  
“That’s almost up at the top,” she muttered, “yeah, if you fell from there, I can see how that would be bad for your health.”

“Can you get us up there?”

“I don’t really get _why_ , but sure,” Glimmer said, shrugging. Might as well use her powers. She wasn’t complaining. She grabbed Adora, and one shimmer of pink later, they stood on a flat piece of cliff overlooking a steep fall. There, hidden behind the rock, they could see a pathway, over the mountain, angling down.  
But the first thing they noticed were the bodies.

Unlike the one that had fallen, these had combat injuries. This time Glimmer hurried up behind Adora, to inspect the fallen.

“ _Claw marks,_ ” said Adora, looking at a big, burly lizardkin. Familiar marks raked across his body. The blood had long since dried, but it was there, painting a gruesome picture. They ran across his chest in several places, and his throat was a bloodied, gory mess. Quickly, Adora ran over to inspect another body, a lankier lizard. Pulling up its head to expose the neck, there were smooth puncture marks running from under his chin, into his skull.

“She would go for the throat,” Adora murmured, “the fastest way to end it. She never messed around.”

“You think _Catra_ did this?”

“Either that or there is another cat person running around with the same exact claws and the same exact fighting style,” said Adora bluntly. 

“…not that I doubt you or anything,” said Glimmer cautiously, “but how can you be sure?”

“I know her. I know how she fights, and I know how long her claws are. If you look here,” she said, gesturing at a gash in the chest of the larger lizardman, “that’s exactly as deep as her claws are long. Consistently.”

“That’s… well, I can’t argue with that I guess,” said Glimmer uncomfortably. 

“I know her. I’ve felt those claws up front. I’m sure,” said Adora. She was animated, spirited in a way she hadn’t been for days. There was a focused energy to her now.

“Well… in that case, good news?” said Glimmer tentatively, “These bodies can’t be more than a day old. We’re on the right track.”

Adora shook her head worriedly.  
“Yes, yes…” she muttered, “but it’s bad. Catra would never have done something like this unless she had to. I can’t imagine what she must feel like.”

“Would it be bad?”

Adora took in a deep breath and looked Glimmer in the eye.  
“She struggles, you know? She still can’t really let go of… you know, the past. The things she’s done. No matter how much I tell her she’s okay, even with all the work she’s done… she’s ashamed. Something like this...”

“Well, it’s a long road to healing. Isn’t that what Perfuma says?”

Seeming distant, Adora nodded.  
“This could set her back a lot. She just… she’s worked _so hard_ , and this just comes along?”

“Yeah, I’d be worried too,” Glimmer muttered, giving the bodies a queasy look, “if Bow killed three people…”

“If she did it, they gave her no other choice. I know it,” said Adora, steel in her voice.

“Of course, of course,” said Glimmer, making a conciliatory gesture with her hands, “look, why don’t we focus on the positives? We know she’s still alive and that we’re on the right track. That’s great, isn’t it? We finally have something to go on.”

“…yeah,” said Adora, standing up, “yeah, you’re right.”

“Yeah. So let’s worry about her mental health _after_ we caught up to her and made sure she’s safe. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Adora agreed, “come on. Let’s get going.”

She started walking downhill, fast.

“Hey, wait up!” Glimmer cried out, rushing after her. 

Well, at least Adora had her spirits back.

********************

Catra kneeled by the stream, refilling the canteen with water. It was a little muddy, and she hoped there were no parasites in it, but it would have to do. It was not as if they had a choice.  
There was water to find in these places if you looked. Not a lot of it, but enough to keep you going. And it had been Freddie who had found it. He might not have travelled far before, but he had a knack for finding useful things.  
Her canteen filled to the brim, she screwed the top on and stuffed it in her bag. This was something, at least. Water could keep you going a long ways.

“You ready to go?” said Freddie eagerly. He was in a good mood, considering they were right in hostile territory. They had rested in a little crevice after their trek back, and now on their fifth day of travel they were a good few hours in already.

“Sure, Fred,” Catra said, slinging the satchel strap over her shoulder.

“I was just thinking about those bad men. We really had ‘em fooled, didn’t we?” He laughed at the thought. A small, childish part of Catra thought, _oh, it’s ‘we’ now, is it?_  
It was weird. He looked at her, beaming like a little sun. He _believed_ in her. It was a really weird feeling. Adora believed in her, but she had always been there, ever since the beginning. She had forgiven Catra for a lot of terrible things. Freddie just… liked her. When he looked at her, she felt like he thought she could do anything. The idea of being looked up to like this felt really weird, unfamiliar- but not unpleasant. It made her want to do more, to do better. To be the kind of person he thought she was.

“We better hope we fooled them good enough,” said Catra distractedly, “Or…”

“We’ll be fine,” said Freddie dismissively, “won’t we, Catra?”

A great many things passed Catra’s mind. _If we’re trapped out here in the open, we’re dead. We’re running low on food, and we lost half a day’s travel yesterday. I don’t know how much more of this I can take._  
“Of course we will, dummy,” she said affectionately, “we’ll make it back in no time. We just have to be careful. Anyway, are you ready to get going?”

“Of course!” Freddie exclaimed.

“Not so loud,” Catra said, gently shushing him, “sound goes a long way in here. You know that. I know it’s desolate, but I’m not taking any risks.”

“Okay.”

They walked on in silence for a bit. Freddie kept quiet. He was energetic still, but he never ran far, and Catra only had to call him back once. It was weird. Just two days ago they had walked up a small mountain and he had barely listened to a word she said, almost falling off, and now he seemed to listen just fine.  
_That’s one way to parent, I guess,_ she thought. _Just dangle off a cliff and put the both of you in extreme danger, and they’ll respect you._

…not that she was anyone’s parent.

“Listen, Freddie,” she said quietly after a while.

“Yeah?”

“We might be running out of food before we get there. We might have to go hungry.”

“That’s okay,” said Freddie, shrugging, “I been hungry before. So long as we make it, I can wait. Maybe we’ll hunt some lizards or rats.”

Catra gave him a good look. He was as skinny as ever. She had assumed he was quite young, but it occurred to her that maybe he was just malnourished.

“Just so you know,” she said slowly. They had six ration bars left. They were Horde issue, or at least something very close to it, and those were pretty good. Bland an unappetizing, of course, but if you put your mind to it, one of them could last you a whole day. 

Freddie didn’t seem to mind. Catra pondered if she should give him more and go hungry herself, but dismissed the thought. It would be sappy and stupid. She needed her strength, or neither of them would make it out of here.

“Whoa…”

Freddie had run ahead a little while Catra was lost in thought, but he had suddenly stopped. He was staring up at a flat piece of rock, embedded in the dusty riverbank. There were bones there, or something like it- only they seemed made of rock, and they were larger than anything from any creature Catra knew of.

“What you think _those_ are?” Freddie said fascinatedly.

“Not sure. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

There were only bits and pieces, but Catra could make out a thick spine, a clawed arm, and pieces of a head and jaw with massive fangs. This place was _old._ It was bound to have been different once. They were walking along a dried-out river bed. Once it had to have been filled with water. Maybe long ago, this place had been green and lush. What had happened to change it?  
She might never know. It wasn’t important. They had to keep moving.

“Come on, little man,” she said, taking his hand.

“Can’t we stay a minute?” Freddie said, “It’s just so…”

“It _is_ pretty cool,” said Catra, “but if you come with me right now with no fussing, I’ll tell you more about She-Ra.”

That got his attention. Shooting the ancient bones one last longing glance, he walked along with her.

“Where were we last?” said Catra.

“You went to this hidden place, and you and Adora saw all these not-real images about when you were little. And then you left?” Said Freddie eagerly.

“Right,” said Catra, “yeah, that was the place. So not long after that, I got to lead an attack on Brightmoon, with a huge army.”

“Cool!”

“No, it wasn’t,” said Catra, shaking her head, “but the princesses that fought back were. You see, it looked like we were gaining the upper hand, and I had Adora cornered, but then suddenly they came in at the last moment…”

Freddie listened attentively, drinking in every last word. Somehow, these old memories didn’t feel quite so shameful as she remembered.

*************************

Knark stared out over the canyon ridge. They had spent all night carefully combing the side of the craggy terrain, climbing up and down the most inaccessible paths, with barely any rest. His party was exhausted, and he was feeling weary himself. They were now at the lowest point they could reach, deep down. Travelling back up to the right path would take most of a day. There would be no reason to go to this deep, treacherous place where there was no game, no water, no anything except sand, dust and rock.  
Unless you really needed to be sure of something.

“This is where they’d have landed. Ain’t that so, Ikkit?”

“Sure thing, boss,” the tracker said, his usual grovelling tone offset by exhaustion, “we’re sure, ain’t we Kragg?”

“We followed this all day yesterday and all night,” Kragg said indifferently, “if they would drop anywhere, they’d drop here.”

“So _where are they?_ ” Knark snarled.

“Boss, this here was a landslide,” said Kragg, with the same obnoxious lack of fear for his betters, “rock, dust and sand kicked loose by the tons. If they dropped down here, they’re buried under it. We could start digging if we wanted, but we’d be here all year.”

“You’re sure?”

“Sure as sure can be, boss. If they dropped here, they choked to death on sand.”

He placed a certain emphasis on _if_. Typical of Kragg to cover his tail like that. Knark’s eyes narrowed, and he gave it some thought. The tracker wasn’t wrong- if they tried to dig through this place, it’d take years. Boss Adder would want news soon, within days. 

“We’re heading back the same way we came,” Knark said at last, “and keep a sharp eye out. Like Kragg says, they’re probably dead, but if we can get something to bring back it’s all the better. Then we’ll do a quick sweep and head back to camp.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from the war party. None of them wanted to be here, in this treacherous, lifeless canyon. Knark only hoped he wasn’t wrong.

***********************

Elsewhere, proving the underboss wrong quite definitively, Catra and Freddie took a rest. They had eaten what meagre bits they could afford to, taken a few sips of water, and climbed into the shade of a rocky outcrop overlooking a wide plain. 

“Come on,” Freddie said eagerly, “what happened next?”

“Oh, um,” said Catra, who had drifted off a little, “er, where were we?”

“You were telling me about the spaceship. You were talking to Boss Glimmer about stuff?”

“Oh. Oh yeah. That… that’s not a happy part of the story, kid,” Catra murmured.

“You can’t not tell it,” Freddie huffed, “it was like, _the scariest_ part ever!”

It was funny how he said ‘scary’ with a big grin on his face. Kids…

“Look, I’m a bit tired,” she said, taking a deep breath. Even now, that memory was painful. Something about retelling the story had been easier than expected, almost helpful, but the thoughts of the cold, green light, of having the chip inserted…  
He had to have sensed her discomfort, because Freddie quieted down a little.

“You can skip it if you really want,” he said quietly.

“I won’t,” she said, “but I’ll tell you the rest later, okay? It’s not all bad. It’s the part where Adora saved me, even after all the things I’d done to her.”

“Pfft,” Freddie snorted, “I don’t believe you had to be saved. You can do _anything._ You probably saved yourself.”

Catra laughed. He sounded so absolutely confident, the way only a little kid could.  
“Not that time, I promise,” she said, “no… not that time.”

“So… what happened?”

“She saved me, that’s the long and short of it. From a real bad spot. Even though I had been nothing but cruel to her, she still came back. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it.”

“But she’s your special friend. _Girlfriend._ Right?”

“Well, not at the time. I think… she loved me even then. It’s more than I deserved, but… I’m glad she came for me.” 

He fell quiet, and Catra realized that he looked a little uncomfortable.  
“What’s wrong, little man?”

“I don’t like that,” he said sullenly, “when you talk like you’re bad.”

“Oh. Um, you mean- what I said about deserving?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine, fair enough,” she sighed. “I did deserve to be rescued. I didn’t think so for a long time, but it’s true. Is that better?”

“Better,” he agreed.

“I’ll try, okay? I’m just… sort of used to it. Thinking like I’m bad.”

“Well, you ain’t. I mean… you was nobody, and then you got made a force captain, and that’s like being an underboss. Ain’t it?”

“…sure.”

“And then you kicked down that nasty Shadow Weaver. Your mama, but also your boss, and you got more power. And then you kicked down boss Hordak and ran the whole thing, right? Like the biggest gang there ever was?”

“…sort of,” Catra said, feeling a tinge of shame.

“And then you talked around _his_ big boss. That’s smart. That’s real smart, Catra. You told me you came to the wastes once before, and you got made boss in like one day. Ain’t it so?”

“Sure.”

“Nobody does that that ain’t smart, or cunning, or sharp and strong.”

“I- I did all those things, sure,” said Catra uncomfortably, “but it was… really bad. Evil. It’s not something to be proud of.”

“You could still do all those things, couldn’t you? Except not to do bad things. You could run boss Glimmer’s stuff better than anyone else. Right?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than a gang…” Catra muttered, remembering her neglected position in Brightmoon’s military, “but I could. I guess.”

“So why don’t you?”

“It’s- complicated.”

“Grownup stuff?”

“Grownup stuff,” Catra confirmed with a nod, “it’s hard to explain.”

“I don’t get it. You can do good things, but you don’t want to?”

Catra sighed.  
“Look, Fred, do you know what it’s like to be ashamed?”

“Not really.”

“It’s when you know you’ve done something wrong, and you really wish you hadn’t. You did something bad, and it makes you feel bad.”

“Sometimes I did bad things that made my mama angry,” said Freddie, “is it like that?”

“Depends. Did it make you feel bad?”

“Felt bad when she hit me.”

“That’s not it then,” said Catra, shaking her head, “imagine that you felt bad before your mama hit you. Imagine feeling like it was right that you got punished.”

“That makes no sense. I wasn’t wrong.”

“It’s like… if you were feeling those angry things your mama felt, but against yourself. You understand?”

“Angry with… myself?” He muttered, trying to digest the idea. “Sometimes when I chased lizards, I’d miss even when I knew I could hit. I got pretty angry then. Is it like that?”

“Not really, but it’s closer. When you’ve done something bad and it makes you feel like a bad person, that’s shame.”

“…I guess I get it,” Freddie murmured, staring into space, “not really. But kinda sorta?”

“It’ll have to do. And… well, I feel that. A lot. I’ve talked about it before, but I did bad things, and those bad things stay with me. Even though I know the others don’t think I’m bad, I sometimes still do.”

“So what’s that got to do with doing good things now?”

“Well… I guess I let it get in my way. I think about the bad things I’ve done, and deep inside I feel like, _if I do things like I used to, it’ll turn out bad. _It’s weird to say, but I think… I’m just afraid.”__

__“Of boss Glimmer?”_ _

__“Of me. What I could do if I did it wrong, like I used to.”_ _

__“Do you think you’d do it wrong if you tried?”_ _

__“I… I mean, I guess not.”_ _

__“And you think boss Glimmer would let you do things wrong if you worked for her?”_ _

__“Definitely not,” Catra said, smiling slightly. Glimmer was as opinionated and stubborn as ever, and she’d never put up with any foolishness on her part._ _

__“So… why don’t you do good things, then? If you did a lot of bad things, don’t you wanna do good things to make it better?”_ _

__“It’s- it’s not that easy!” Catra snapped. She fell quiet as soon as the words came out, realizing she had never raised her voice at him before. His eyes folded back a little, and Catra felt a stab of guilt._ _

__“Hey, it’s- it’s okay,” she said pleadingly. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”_ _

__She groaned and sighed.  
“It’s hard. I know you can’t understand why, but it is.”_ _

__Freddie sat quiet for a little while, and Catra was afraid she had scared him. But after some time, he piped up:  
“So… it’s hard.”_ _

__“Mhm.”_ _

__“But it’s not impossible?”_ _

__“I guess not,” Catra muttered. "I’ve been telling myself I should. I just… sort of stop myself without thinking.”_ _

__“That don’t make no sense to me.”_ _

__“It doesn’t,” Catra admitted, “tell you what, I’ll start doing some good things when we get back, okay?”_ _

__“You’ll be underboss to boss Glimmer?”_ _

__“Sure. Something like that.”_ _

__Freddie nodded, grinning.  
“See, it don’t need to be that difficult, right?”_ _

__“I guess not,” Catra said, almost sullenly. She had known most of this, deep down in her mind, but something about laying it out had made things a little… clearer.  
Captain Catra. _General_ Catra. She could do that and do it well if she tried._ _

__Well, one thing at a time. First out of these horrible wastes, then world domination._ _

__**************************_ _

__Their walk continued to take them through craggy, rocky terrain, but it seemed to flatten a little. This was good- Catra remembered coming this way, through terrain that got rockier and rockier the further south she got. That things flattened meant they were on the right track, heading to the coast.  
Things had been eerily quiet all day. They were well past noon, having rested through the hottest hours, and they hadn’t seen the hint of intelligent life since that hunting party had lost them. This was a good thing too, of course, but something about constantly looking around put Catra on edge. She had her head on a swivel, and she didn’t like it. It reminded her of the old days. She had always known what to do when it came to taking action, but the waiting? The nervous anticipation? She had hated it then, and she hated it now.  
She let none of it show, of course. She needed to keep a level head, and if Freddie sensed her unease it would spread._ _

___He probably feels it too,_ she thought. He was smart. He knew his way around the waste, and he knew what it meant to trespass on some gang’s turf._ _

__“Hey, Fred?” she muttered._ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“What do you know about these lizardfolk? This gang?”_ _

__“They’re called the Sand Snakes. Meanest there are in the wastes. Everyone knows who Boss Adder is, and nobody goes against him. If they do…”  
Freddie raked his thumb across his throat. _ _

__“And we’re right in their lands.”_ _

__“Could be, yeah,” said Freddie, “I heard they work in the south. But y’know, the wastes are a real big place. Can’t know for sure.”_ _

___With our luck, I think I do._ Catra almost said the words out loud. _ _

__“Hey, Catra?”  
Freddie sounded nervous, and Catra tensed. He was pointing toward a rocky outcropping a few hundred feet away, where the elongated, square head of a lizardkin rose up. It looked at them, then raised its head up high, letting out a loud chitter. A moment passed, feeling like an eternity, then there came a second call, then a third._ _

__“Let’s go!” Catra said, grabbing Freddie by the hand, upping their pace._ _

__The cries intensified, echoing across the landscape seemingly by the dozen. She saw a second figure rise up, then a third. More rose up around them, on both sides. From behind rocks, from out the shade of every little nook and cranny, lizardfolk spilled out. They seemed sluggish at first, surprised more than anything. Then one of them raised a hand, pointing at them and shouting something Catra couldn’t hear, but understood all too well. One of them started running toward them, then a second.  
Catra didn’t think. She scooped up Freddie in her arms and started running, dashing across the rocks. Behind her, a sea of scales and teeth started to move. They had walked _right_ into a camp, right into the jaws of their enemy. She could hear their calls behind her, guttural and angry cries. Ahead of her lay a mountainous passage, behind her a force that made the war party they had shaken off look like a joke. And all she could do now was run and hope for the best._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something of a shorter chapter this time around, but the next one is going to be really exciting.


	7. Deliverance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _That_ was what they had been waiting for. At one end, at the path she had been running toward the horde parted, giving way to a cloaked figure. He was shorter than most, barely a head taller than Catra, but he carried himself with the arrogant confidence of a tyrant. He tugged at his cloak, letting it drop, and she finally got a good look at him.  
> Lean, muscular, and covered in scars big and small, his scales were a vibrant shade of yellowish sandy brown. He was well proportioned, broad of shoulder but not bulky or fat. Two large, sharp ridges ran over each of his serpentine eyes, continuing down to his nostrils. He wore nothing but a loincloth, his belt holding up a series of intricate charms made of bone. A serpentine symbol made its way up from his belly to his chest, looking like it had been carved there. Every single lizardfolk there, big and small, looked at him reverently.
> 
> “You’re Boss Puff Adder of the Sand Snakes. Aren’t you?” said Catra, her voice a growl.
> 
> “You’re well informed,” said Adder, taking a step forward, “and _you_ are the intruder who killed three of my people.”

Boss Adder was busy wolfing down his supper when he saw Knark approaching. Judging by the confident swagger, he came bearing good news. Swallowing down a hunk of meat, bone and all, Adder stood up from the campfire outside his yurt.

“Boss Puff Adder,” said Knark ingratiatingly, bowing down to one knee, “great leader of the wastes, feared by many, ruler of thousands, it is my pleasure to return to your side-“

“Shut up,” said Adder. The underboss knew his place, but he could lay it on thick sometimes. To his credit he obeyed immediately, his mouth snapping shut. Adder inspected the war party behind him, warriors and trackers all. He knew most of them by name. Knark had at least taken the job seriously; these were all skilled gangers.  
“Last I sent you off, I told you not to come back unless you had results. So, what you got for me?”

“Oh great master of the wastes, I wasted no time in pursuing the trespassers. It turned out the killer was catfolk, and we tracked them down. They were outsiders, didn’t know where they were going. It was easy enough.”

“If it was so easy, where’s the proof?” demanded Adder, “A skull? A tail? A hide? I want to hang it from our totem, so everyone can be reminded of what happens to trespassers.”

“Er…”

Adder’s eyes narrowed.  
“You _did_ take care of it, didn’t you?”

“Boss Adder, oh great one- er yes, of course we did!” Knark said eagerly, “We hunted them down, but in their desperation they ran off the side of a cliff and plummeted to their death. We spent all night chasing them down. They were buried deep in the sand, beyond our reach, but they are dead. Very dead. All who trespass die, and on my word I have upheld that.”

Adder surged forward, a muscular hand clutching Knark’s throat, yanking his head up level with his own.

“You bring me nothing but your word, Knark?”

“Boss, it’s the _wastes,_ ” Knark said pleadingly, “all sorts of things happen, and it was the pass. The most treacherous ground there is. It happens, but I swear on my life, _they are dead!”_

Adder’s grip on the underboss’ neck tightened, and he gave Knark a vicious stare. He considered wringing his neck then and there just to make a point, just to show everyone that he tolerated no half measures.  
But that would mean having to replace him, and good underbosses were hard to find. They were all too often incompetent, looking to stab him in the back, or both. Slowly, he let his grip soften. It was this measured approach that had won him the wastes, knowing when to be vicious and when not to. 

“You give me your word on that, Knark?” he growled.

“Yes- yes!” Knark sputtered, drawing in a frantic breath, “My word, boss!”

Adder let go and took a step back, giving him a nod. Knark stood up, relieved.

“Good enough, then. Let everyone know what happens to those who cross the Sand Snakes. What’s that, boys?”

“They get hunted down!” Knark said eagerly.

“Ripped to bits!” a warrior cried out from behind.

“Broken or taken for slaves!”

“Damned right,” said Adder, “alright-“

“Boss!”

Adder’s head snapped around to see a scrawny runner, low in rank judging by his lack of trophies, and his mood soured.

“If you don’t give me one good reason not to, I’ll gut you where you stand,” he snarled, “the hell do you think you’re doing, barging in on clan business?”

The runner cowered, bowing so deep that he was almost lying down.

“Underboss Gorl sent me! Boss, they spotted an intruder to the east. They walked right by the resting caves!”

Adder’s eyes narrowed.

“Who? Who dared?!”

“Don’t know, boss,” whimpered the runner, “all I know is it was some catfolk. A hatching, and a bigger one!”

“Get out of here,” Adder snarled to the runner, who scurried off gratefully.

Adder turned to look at Knark, who had a terrified look on his face.

“Catfolk, huh?” said Adder, balling his fists.

“Look, boss,” Knark stuttered, “how was I supposed to know-“

Those were the last words he would ever speak. Adder launched himself forward, a knee slamming into the underboss’ chest, forcing the air out of his lungs and shocking him. As he reeled back, sinking to his knees, Adder grabbed him firmly by the head, looking down on him.

“You gave me your _word,_ ” he hissed, “You lazy, weak little hatchling!”

Adder’s muscular arms tightened their grip around the ridges of the underboss’ skull and jaw, and in one swift motion he twisted Knark’s head. There was a snap, and the underboss fell down lifeless, his head twisted at an unnatural angle.

“As for the rest of you,” Adder hissed, pointing at the fallen underboss’ war party, “tell me why I shouldn’t give you the same!”

“Because you’re running out of time, Boss Adder.”

The one that had spoken up was a lean one, with a dry, seemingly fearless voice.

“You,” said Adder, “you’re his best tracker, aren’t you? Kragg.”

“So I am, boss. And being the biggest boss the gang has ever seen, you will want to deal with this personally. You _could_ take a few minutes to kill us all, but you’d rather be seen at the forefront. Our turf is ours. The sooner we get the trespassers, the better.”

“You got a mouth on you, don’t you?” Adder hissed.

“I speak only the truth, Boss Adder.”

He was. It was a matter of honour to defend your territory, to be seen as involved. An underboss getting there first might give them the wrong ideas.

“You tracked them before, didn’t you?”

“Successfully, Boss Adder.”

“Do it again,” Adder ordered, “all of you, you’re with me. You’re all going to set right your failure, today.”

**********************

They were right on her heels. Catra was a fast runner, always had been, but Freddie weighed her down and so did her bag. More than once, she had felt long, clawed fingers nipping at her cloak.  
The rocks slapped against the soles of her feet, and Catra ignored the pangs of pain as every now and then a sharper piece of rubble dug into her skin. Her thigh muscles were burning with the exertion, but she barely even noticed it. The gorge she was running through was narrowing down, and if she only made it to that narrow pass-  
Well, she’d still be pursued by a horde of lizardfolk, but she wouldn’t be surrounded. There was no plan now, no clever ruses, only running for her life. 

“Catra, look!”

Freddie, who had been hanging on for dear life, was pointing up toward a ridge. A new swell of lizardfolk were coming down, leaping boldly from frightening heights. Some tumbled, but many landed more or less gracefully and added to the sea of scale and claw threatening to swallow her whole. What was worse, they were coming down well ahead of her. As they started to run after their landing, Catra realized that they were encircling her, closing off her escape. Catra redoubled her efforts, running like never before. The gap was narrowing by the second, and she felt desperation rising. She couldn’t have it all end like this, not now, not after everything they had been through.

Suddenly one figure burst out ahead of the others, and behind him she spotted the same warriors from the party she had evaded just the other day. Seeing this new arrival, the lizardfolk seemed to put their backs into it. Slowly, the noose closed. Catra ran and ran, right until she was completely surrounded. She came to a screeching halt, breathing heavily as she realized it was over. She was surrounded, fully surrounded on all sides by lizardfolk.   
But to her surprise, they stopped their chase as soon as she stopped running. They swarmed around her, forming a circle some fifty feet wide, keeping a wide berth. Catra, catching her breath, stared them down. Gently, she set Freddie down, dropped her bag and cloak, and spread her arms, claws out. Her hair stood on their ends, her face twisted into a furious sneer. It was a petty show of strength, but it was all she knew to do.

“Freddie, get behind me,” she hissed. It was futile; nowhere was safe.

She stared them down, the horde of lizardfolk staring back like a hungry pack of vultures. What were they waiting for?

“So you’re the intruder.”

 _That_ was what they had been waiting for. At one end, at the path she had been running toward the horde parted, giving way to a cloaked figure. He was shorter than most, barely a head taller than Catra, but he carried himself with the arrogant confidence of a tyrant. He tugged at his cloak, letting it drop, and she finally got a good look at him.  
Lean, muscular, and covered in scars big and small, his scales were a vibrant shade of yellowish sandy brown. He was well proportioned, broad of shoulder but not bulky or fat. Two large, sharp ridges ran over each of his serpentine eyes, continuing down to his nostrils. He wore nothing but a loincloth, his belt holding up a series of intricate charms made of bone. A serpentine symbol made its way up from his belly to his chest, looking like it had been carved there. Every single lizardfolk there, big and small, looked at him reverently.

“You’re Boss Puff Adder of the Sand Snakes. Aren’t you?” said Catra, her voice a growl.

“You’re well informed,” said Adder, taking a step forward, “and _you_ are the intruder who killed three of my people.”

“Look,” said Catra, “you’re the biggest, baddest boss in the wastes, aren’t you?”

“What do you say, boys?” said Adder, looking to his people. They cheered his name, deafeningly loud, until he raised a hand. They fell silent, instantly.

“Yeah, you hold all the cards,” said Catra, desperate to keep him talking, to try and salvage anything, “you’re the strongest. And what strong people like you always want is _more._ More power, more wealth, more everything. So let me tell you this: we’re worth more to you alive. I am Catra of Bright Moon. I work for Queen Glimmer. All your riches will pale compared to what she can give you. If you take us as hostages and demand a ransom, you could ask for anything you wanted. Gold, cattle, tools, weapons- anything at all. Bright Moon is the richest kingdom in the entire Princess Alliance.”

“Riches, huh?” said Adder, eyeing her carefully.

“As much as you need,” Catra said quickly, “and if you hurt me, there will be vengeance a hundred times over. She-Ra will be looking for me. _The_ She-Ra. You can either bring down her wrath on you, or make the deal of a lifetime. Which is it going to be?”

Adder let out a long, rasping laugh.  
“ _She-Ra,_ ” he hissed, “is a fairy story for the weak-minded. Maybe you are with the kingdoms- you speak like one of them- but you’re an outsider. That you even suggest this shows you don’t understand.”

Adder’s serpentine tongue flicked out of his mouth, and he bared his fangs.  
“You came into my lands and killed my people. Nobody does that and lives, no matter how many riches they offer. Those are our ways. Those are the ways of the wastes and the Sand Snakes!”

The mob of Sand Snakes cheered, pumping their fists and stamping their feet.  
“I’ll be generous,” said Adder, taking a step forward, “we’ll take the little one for a slave when you’re dead. He can bear witness to what happens to intruders.”

“Catra…” whispered Freddie.

“Get away, _now,_ ” Catra hissed, “everything is going to be okay. I’ll take care of him, and then… we’ll find a way out. Just be ready, okay?”

Freddie nodded, and backed up a little.  
She was lying. She was desperate now, and she knew there was no way out. But you didn’t stop until it was really over, no matter the odds. Adora wouldn’t want that. And if she couldn’t live with her… then at least she could die the way she would have. Bravely.

She steeled herself as Adder stepped toward her. Lean and scarred, he carried himself with a confident gait, every movement measured. Catra grit her teeth and lunged, claws raised.   
She struck air, as Adder side-stepped her swipe with ease, a scaled fist catching her in the chest before she could recover. She staggered back, coughing. There were jeers and laughs from the crowd, and Adder himself seemed no less amused.

“You can do better than that, can’t you?”

Catra did not respond to the taunt. Instead she lashed out with her claws, slashing at him in wide, fast horizontal motions.   
He was _fast_. Adder weaved away from her strikes with ease. He was nothing like the clumsy simpletons she had met before, or the hulking brutes too slow to keep up. He was just as fast as her, and stronger too. He moved like his namesake, swift and serpentine. Catra backed off a little, circling around, Adder matching her pace.

“Do you feel it yet?” said Adder maliciously, “The fear? Is it sinking in yet, knowing that you’ll die here?”

“Trust me,” said Catra, refusing to let herself get baited or distracted, “I’ve had worse than this. I’ve met people that make you look petty. You’re strong and dangerous, but you’re really just a thug. A successful thug, but still just a thug. I’ve come out on top of people who toppled _planets._ ”

It was an idle boast. She had hardly been on top of that situation, but she’d rather fire back than take the abuse.

“That so?”

“Damn right-“ Catra started. Mid-sentence he lunged, but she was ready, weaving away from a lunging, clawed hand. Her claws raked over his arm as he pulled back, and she lashed out once, twice, forcing him back. Rather than push her luck, she took a step back, waiting for him to make the next move.

Adder inspected the scratches on his arm, fresh blood dripping from it.  
“You’re learning, huh? Good.”

She saw him coming, but it was barely enough. The boss struck at her with snapping jaws and flying fists, and Catra only barely kept up. She jumped, placing a hand on his shoulder as she somersaulted over him, but no sooner had she landed than he’d spun around. She felt the rush of air as the end of his tail nearly caught her in the chest, and she staggered back. She dodged under a sweeping blow and rammed her claws forward, right toward his chest. He caught her by the wrist and twisted it aside, grinning as she winced in pain. Catra grit her teeth and lashed out with a foot, her claws raking across his chest. The sudden pain distracted him enough that she could wrench her hand free, and she took another step back.  
He was fast, deadly and built like a truck, but his style was unrefined. Maybe she had a shot. Maybe… and then there’d be a literal horde of lizardfolk to deal with.

One problem at a time. More confidently this time, Catra sprang forward, her claws raking out in a pattern of quick, calculated slashes. Adder deftly took a step back, then another, dodging her attacks. He was on the defensive now, and for a moment, Catra dared to hope.  
She was quickly punished. One of her slashes overextended a little, and suddenly she got backhanded, sent reeling back. A moment later she felt a red-hot surge of pain as the boss raked his claws across her chest, leaving three deep gashes. Catra gasped, the air knocked out of her lungs. She raised her hands to parry and caught the first attack. The second slammed into her right shoulder, and her arm went numb. She staggered back, breathing heavily. Her arm wasn’t moving. She was able to make her fingers twitch, so at least it wasn’t broken, but that was not much of a comfort right now.   
Hitting his stride now, Adder rushed forward, and Catra tried her best to fend him off with just the one arm. It was a doomed effort. He was fast and strong; she was wounded and in shock. His hand shot out, and thick, muscular fingers closed around her neck. Catra found herself lifted into the air, the grip on her neck tightening. She couldn’t breathe. Desperately she sunk her claws into his wrist, trying to force him to let go, but the lizard endured the cuts, his grip ever tightening. Around her, she could hear a deafening cheer from the crowd around them. A triumphant look passed Boss Adder’s face, and slowly he started to choke the life out of her. She squirmed and wriggled in his grip, desperately trying to kick him, to do anything at all. She couldn’t reach, couldn’t do anything; she was helpless. Her sight started to turn blurry, and she could feel the darkness coming at the edge of her vision.

_I’m sorry, Adora._

Then, suddenly, the grip slackened a little, and Catra drew in a sharp breath. It was Freddie, screaming bloody murder. The boy had run up from behind, climbing onto Adder’s back, digging his little claws into the lizard’s bull-like neck, his face, his shoulders, anything he could reach for. Adder snarled, reaching out to grab the kid with his free hand, but Freddie was too nimble, too fast.  
He had been holding her out at maximum distance, but suddenly his elbow bent a little, bringing her closer in. Catra took her chance, raised a foot back, and slammed a kick into the boss’ gut. Her claws dug in deep, and she pushed down, cutting through his tough hide and drawing blood. As she raked her claws through his flesh, Adder snarled with pain. As he batted at Freddie once more to swat him off, Catra let go of his wrist and grabbed his thumb. She felt her claws close against her own skins as her fingers dug in and wrapped around the finger and yanked. His grip slackened, and Catra dropped to her feet. Before he could recover she leaped forward, her one good hand aimed at his neck. She felt her claws dig in deep, and she all but buried her fingers in muscle and sinew, trying to make a fist inside his throat. Gurgling, Adder shoved her back, and blood poured from his throat as her hand was yanked free.

“Freddie, get off!” she cried, panting as she backed up. Freddie got a few more swipes in before leaping away, but Adder didn’t seem to notice. He clutched his throat, trying to breathe. For a long moment he stood there staring at her in disbelief. Blood was flowing down his chest, colouring it red. Then he took one step forward, breaking into a charge on wobbling legs. Catra side-stepped him, and the great boss tripped, tumbling to his feet and collapsing. He twitched, lying helpless on the ground.  
You could have heard a pin drop. The crowd of lizardfolk, which had been cheering uproariously only seconds ago, fell dead silent. Catra breathed heavily, equally as shocked as Adder.

“…did she just kill the boss?” said one among the crowd, baffled.

“We should get her!” said another voice, in the tone of somebody who’d rather not be the one doing the getting.

“Why?” snorted a third voice, “She beat him fair and square. Maybe _she_ should be boss.”

“Like I’d take orders from some outsider,” snarled a fourth, “you, take her down!”

“Who are you to give _me_ orders?”

“I’m the oldest and the strongest. Makes me boss now. Do it!”

“Drop dead. I’m an underboss too, I ain’t taking orders from the likes of you.”

It was very quickly turning into an argument, and Catra realized just how much had hinged on just the one boss. The one she had just taken down.

“Freddie,” she hissed, “grab my cloak.” 

Keeping an eye on the crowd, she reached down and grabbed her satchel, flinching as she hung the strap on her still numb shoulder. She didn’t have to worry. The aura of general disbelief was starting to devolve into absolute chaos. Two underbosses were already at each other’s throats, their underlings joining in. Some just looked confused. Many, Catra noticed, watched her intently with something like respect. It disgusted her.  
Freddie rushed up to her side, the cloak hastily folded up under one arm, and Catra grabbed him by the hand and walked toward the cliff passage she had headed toward before., finding their way through the disrupted crowd. Her chest hurt, the still bleeding gashes making themselves reminded with each step as the adrenaline rush started to die down, but she powered through it. Several lizardkin looked at her uncertainly, as if unsure whether to pounce or not, but whether it was out of fear or respect, none of them did. Stepping nimbly through the outskirts of the melee, they walked as fast as their legs could carry them, leaving the massive gathering of lizardfolk behind. 

**************

It didn’t take long for the suites of her fight to catch up with her. Her shoulder was swelling, and although she could move her arm, it hurt too much to do so. The three cuts across her chest bled and hurt, and above it all she had an acute fear that any moment now, some small pocket of lizardkin would decide to get revenge for their fallen boss. If they did, she would have nothing. Right now, Catra just wanted to fall over, pass out and sleep until the world was less horrible.   
Her breathing ragged and her vision blurring, she still forced herself to keep walking. She kept glancing over her shoulder, but nobody came. Eventually, the sounds of the encampment grew quiet behind her.   
Somehow, some way, they kept walking until the sky started to darken. Right then and there, by a sandy path, Catra collapsed. One moment she was staggering forward, the next the ground rushed up to meet her, and things went black.

She blurred into consciousness briefly, feeling Freddie drag her across the sandy ground toward a cliffy outcropping. Feebly, she helped him, kicking at the ground to make it easier. Somehow, she found herself lying next to a huge rock, in a little crevice. She felt Freddie drape the cloak over her, curl up next to her, and then it all went black. 

When Catra woke up, she knew she was alive because being dead would not hurt like this. She made the mistake of trying to sit up, and immediately reclined back onto the ground as the three gashes on her upper chest reminded her of the past day’s events. She let out a pained groan, lying back.  
Everything hurt. The cuts on her chest pulsated with an intense pain. Her shoulder was a raw mass of hurt, swollen and badly bruised. She could feel little aches everywhere else too, in her legs, her other arm, and her head was killing her. She felt hot, hotter than she should here in the shade.  
She looked up. She was still under the rock, in the little crevice, her head rested on her satchel as a makeshift pillow and her cloak still draped over her. Freddie was nowhere to be seen.

“Fred?” she rasped, looking around, too weak to stand up and look, “Freddie? Where are you?”

There was no response for some time, and a lump of fear started to grow in her chest. What had happened? Had- had they got him? But if they did, why would they have left her? Unless he walked away on his own and got taken-  
But before the panic could truly set in, she heard a rustle and saw Freddie’s lean frame, sitting by the ledge leading into the crevice in the rock. He held the water canteen in one hand, and he had a bright look on his face.

“I found water!” he said excitably.

“Are you okay?” Catra said weakly, “You didn’t see anyone?”

“I’m fine,” Freddie said, carefully walking up toward her, “you need to drink and eat. You gotta rest so you can get well.”

There was no arguing with that. Come to think of it, her throat felt dry- sandpaper dry. Freddie gently approached her, leaning the canteen up against her face. Not feeling quite so weak as to need help drinking, Catra took the canteen with an unsteady hand. She was trembling, and it took some effort to get the bottle to her mouth. She spilled more than a few drops until she got it right, but finally she managed to do it. The water was lukewarm and probably not clean, but it tasted like heaven, and she drank greedily of it. She abruptly stopped herself when she realized she had already drunk half of it.

“It’s okay,” said Freddie, “there’s more. I can find it. I had to look around a lot, and walk a bit, but I found a stream.”

“You shouldn’t be out there,” Catra muttered, “’s dangerous.”

“If I didn’t, you’d be thirsty,” said Freddie, shrugging. Catra sighed. She couldn’t really argue with that.

How long had she been out? The sun was high up in the sky, so presumably for some time. They were at most a couple miles away from the Sand Snake encampment. She was surprised none of them had come this way yet. Did none of them want revenge?  
Maybe not. Maybe he had been too cruel for any of them to want payback. It wouldn’t surprise her. Either way, there wasn’t much she could do about it right now. She was sweating, and suddenly felt cold despite the heat. She brought a hand up to her forehead and it felt quite hot, slick with sweat.  
She was running a fever. Great.

“Hey, Catra?” 

“Mhm?” said Catra, staring out into space.

“You were really brave.”

“More like scared,” Catra said weakly. She had been. She had been so very, very scared. She had stared into the void, really thought her time had come.

“You didn’t look scared.”

“Couldn’t afford to. If you’re scared, you got to put that aside if things are dangerous. If you get really scared and panic, you die. Being brave… that’s more about doing something even when you’re afraid.”

“So you _are_ brave,” Freddie said triumphantly.

“I guess,” Catra muttered, “but if I never have to be brave again, that’d be fine by me.”

She raised her head, looking him in the eye.

“The brave one was you, Fred. If you hadn’t… I was so close…”

Words failed her. She felt weak, not just physically but emotionally. Drained, overwhelmed by the last few days of intense stress, constant danger, fear…

“I couldn’t let him hurt you,” Freddie said quietly, “couldn’t do nothing when he was…”

His voice failed him, too. It trembled, weak like her own. Gently, Catra took him by the hand, squeezing it lightly. Freddie squeezed back, sitting down next to her.

“You did right,” Catra whispered, “it’s not right that you had to do it, but you did. You saved me. I would have… died.”

“Well,” Freddie said, sniffing, “you saved me a lotta times so it’s only fair, right?”

“Only fair,” Catra said, smiling faintly. “Come on, let’s get some rest. I can’t move yet, but maybe tomorrow… yeah, tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. The idea of tomorrow had haunted her these last few days, always unsure if it would all come crashing down on her. But now that the world had crashed down, she suddenly found herself unwilling to let go of hope. She had made it this far. She had beaten the nastiest thing the wastes had to throw at her. They were maybe two days out from Port Damalie now. They could make it. They _would_ make it.

“Hey, Fred?” she said after a while.

“Yeah?”

“I never finished the story about She-Ra, did I?”

“You don’t have to,” said Freddie quickly, “you gotta rest. Get well. I’ll be good, I’ll just stay quiet round here. Keep watch.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I can sleep right now.”

“If you’re sure…”

“Where were we last?”

“Um,” said Freddie, scratching his head, “you were out in a spaceship, and you and Adora were starting to make friends again.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah, it was…” It felt like ages ago. Like forever had passed.   
“I was really angry with her, you see. But not really. I was actually really angry with myself, because I had done so many bad things. But even though I was mean, she was patient. She believed in me. So on our way back home, we found this planet with something we needed for the ship, and that’s where I met Melog.”

“What’s a Melog?”

“You’ll love Melog,” said Catra, smiling at the memory, “he’s a magical creature. Looks like a very big cat, and he can turn invisible too.”

“No way,” said Freddie, wide-eyed. He seemed to have forgotten all about the terrible events of yesterday, at least for the moment. Deciding she’d rather try and forget that too, Catra continued.

“Yes, way. When we get back I’ll show you, so you know I’m not making it up. But I’m getting ahead of myself. You see, Entrapta had located the thing we needed to repair our ship, so we landed at this abandoned old place that was made ages ago, by people long gone. It was a really spooky place, but we were all together, so it was alright. It was actually my first mission together with them, and man, they teased me about it…”

Freddie lay down next to her, entranced as she continued to retell the story. Catra spoke, her voice weak and raspy, but she kept going. They stayed that way for some time, until she finally drifted off into a fevered sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny how things work out when you write. Originally, I hadn't planned on doing anything with the Sand Snakes at all, but as time went on and I wanted to add more adventure to the story, I figured it would be weird *not* to add a villain like Adder. Now, it's a major beat in the story. So Catra just went through another serious trauma (that next visit to Perfuma is going to be something else), but she's not out of the woods yet...


	8. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Catra! Look!”
> 
> Freddie’s excited cry cut through her weariness for a second. He was tugging eagerly at her arm, pointing to the distance. Forcing herself to focus, she stared off into the distance. There, she finally saw it. Far out, miles away, still barely visible on the horizon in the fading light of the evening, she could see the light colours of the rock the houses of Port Damalie were made of.
> 
> “We’re almost there!” Freddie said eagerly, “Catra, we made it through the wastes!”
> 
> “Yeah, kid,” she muttered, gently patting him on the head, “we… made it.”
> 
> Then the ground rushed up to meet her, and everything went dark.

It was well past noon when Adora and Glimmer realized that the dust clouds up ahead weren’t natural, but in fact mixed with smoke and kicked up by people- lots of people. Half a mile out they had spotted it, and figured that whether it was hostile or not, it would be worth checking the camp out. From the looks of it, it was pretty major. Nestled among rocky outcroppings, there were tents and simple huts all over the place.  
As they came closer, though, they realized that this semblance of civilization was misleading. They heard the sounds of a struggle as they walked toward the camp’s borders, and as they entered, what they saw was pure anarchy. Lizardfolk fighting lizardfolk, seemingly without distinction. Big, hulking brutes leading charges against mobs of gangers, led by other big, hulking brutes. Many lay still on the ground.

“Well…” said Glimmer, taking the scene in, “so much for _that_ idea.”

“What is going on?” said Adora, looking around, back and forth, “They didn’t even see us enter.”

“Well I have no idea, but they’re clearly not going to be helpful. So… why don’t we move on before they decide to put their differences aside?”

“No,” said Adora, shaking her head.

“No?”

“I’m going to see what caused this. Maybe one of them saw Catra.”

“You’re going to try and interrogate _that?_ ” said Glimmer, gesturing to two lizardfolk wrestling on the ground, clawing at each other furiously.

_“For the honour of Grayskull!”_

“…I guess we are, huh?” Muttered Glimmer, as the familiar glow washed over the camp and Adora changed, growing several feet taller. There she stood, She-Ra, the protector of Etheria. Graceful, and very, very angry to boot.

“Listen up,” Adora cried, “I have something to ask-“

Her transformation had drawn some attention, but her words were drowned out by the sheer noise of combat.

“Oh, for the love of…” Adora grunted, and rammed her sword into the ground. There was a thrum of power from the blade, and Glimmer took a step back. Adora ripped the blade free, and a massive shockwave ran from where she had struck, kicking up a cloud of dust and shaking the ground for several hundred feet. All around them, lizardfolk were knocked off their feet, slammed against each other, against the ground, against the rock.  
_That_ did the trick. Suddenly the fighting stopped, and all eyes turned toward them.

“Hi…” Glimmer said awkwardly, waving at the hundreds of faces turning their way.

 _“Listen up,”_ said Adora, her voice booming across the camp. Her eyes were glowing, and she was terrifying to look at. Many lizardfolk simply ran, while the rest simply stared at her in fear.  
“I don’t know what you’re fighting about,” Adora continued fiercely, “but I have questions to ask, and you’re going to answer, or I’ll beat it out of you if I have to.”

“She’s not kidding,” added Glimmer, “that’s She-Ra, in case you didn’t notice. Saviour of Etheria, basically invincible in combat?”

Slowly, the circle of lizardfolk started to recede, creeping away from them. Glimmer’s warning seemed to have been heeded; none of them seemed even remotely willing to fight. Or talk, for that matter.

 _“Wait,”_ Adora cried frustratedly as they started to disperse, “Damn it, I just want to talk, you stupid gangers!”  
She chased forward a few steps, and the lizardfolk scattered faster. Adora let out a frustrated groan, and slammed her sword against a rock. The stone shattered from the blow, crumbling into a pile of pebbles. 

“Well, that worked a little too well,” Glimmer sighed, “want me to just chase one of them down? Pretty sure I can grab one.”

“Please,” Adora muttered sullenly.

“Not necessary.”

The voice was dry and raspy, and Adora and Glimmer turned to look at the lizardkin that had approached them. He was lean, a little smaller than most, and wore a cloak. He had a long snout, one eye covered in scar tissue, and he stood before them seemingly unafraid. 

“You!” said Adora, pointing her sword at him, “You- tell us everything, now!”

“Adora,” said Glimmer gently, “maybe less sword, more diplomacy? He came to us, after all.”

“…right,” Adora said, lowering the sword. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“I get it,” said Glimmer, patting Adora on the back affectionately, “so, mister… do you have a name?”

“Kragg,” said the lizardkin. He looked up at Adora from under his hood, seeming curious.  
“Are you really the She-Ra? Great warrior of the sky?”

“Well, yes,” said Adora irritably, “I’m right here, eight foot tall, got the sword and the white clothes. What more do you want?”

“And I am Queen Glimmer,” said Glimmer.

“Queen,” said Kragg, as if tasting the word, “She-Ra. Powerful.”

“Very,” said Adora sullenly.

“Rich?”

“Rich?” Glimmer repeated back at him.

“You are not of the wastes. I will explain,” said Kragg patiently, “out here, nothing is free. You seek information. I am tracker Kragg. I know many things. But knowledge has value, and what has value has cost.”

“Want to rethink that one?” said Adora, raising her sword again.

“Adora, please,” said Glimmer, gently pushing Adora’s arm down, “cost. Right. What do you want? Money?”

“Mo-ney?” Kragg said, sounding confused. “I want trade. Wealth. You must have wealth, if you are queen.”

“Of course,” said Glimmer, “what is wealth to you? What do you want?”

Kragg pondered that for a second.  
“Metal,” he said, “iron. Good building material. Worth a lot in the wastes. Make many good tools and weapons.”

“Iron. Got it,” said Glimmer, looking around the camp carefully, “give me just a minute and I’ll fix that…”  
After quickly memorizing the place to anchor herself, Glimmer vanished in a puff of pink. Kragg looked perplexed, but seemed more or less unphased.

“She gone?”

“She does that,” Adora muttered, “she’ll be back in a bit.”

“Strong magic,” said Kragg, shrugging.

They stood there, staring each other down in awkward silence, until Glimmer popped back in some three or so minutes later. In her hand, she carried five dining knives, simple and functional.  
“This,” she said, holding out the cutlery to the tracker, “is steel. It’s iron, but stronger. Is that good enough?”

“Not sharp,” said Kragg, inspecting the knives, tapping them against his head, “but strong. Yes. Good. This trade, I will accept. What do you wish to know?”

“We’re looking for a girl,” said Adora, speaking so quickly she almost tripped on her words, “cat ears, tail, about yea high, freckles and-“

Kragg laughed, a raspy, joyless sound, and Adora’s face soured.

“What? Is this a joke to you?”

“I offer apologies,” said Kragg, “but there is nobody here in this camp who has not seen her.”

“What?!” Adora cried, in between angry and hopeful, “Tell me everything!”

“Catfolk. This high,” said Kragg, gesturing with a hand, “and with a tail, big ears and very sharp claws. Brown skin. Had a bag and a cloak. Yes?”

“That’s her!” Glimmer said, recognizing the things she had seen Catra pack almost a week ago.

“Yesterday, she killed boss Puff Adder in a challenge. It’s what caused this chaos. Now, all his underbosses and their followers fight each other for dominance. The tribes will either split into a dozen different ones, or maybe one of them will end up being leader.”

“She… killed him?” said Adora, shaking her head, “Oh no…”

“Greatest fight I’ve ever seen,” said Kragg appreciatively, “fool Adder let himself be distracted. Got his throat cut for his troubles. It is only right. He was overconfident, and he paid for it.”

“I- I don’t care about any of this,” said Adora, shaking her head, “I don’t care about your stupid gang tearing itself apart, or who comes out on top. I just need to find her. She’s- important.”

Kragg cocked his head curiously.

“How important?”

 _“Invaluable,”_ said Adora firmly. “As in, I’d rather die than let her spend another day in this horrible place.”

 _“Very_ valuable,” said Kragg, nodding sagely.

Glimmer could see where this was going.  
“You said you were a tracker, right?” she said.

“I am.”

“And you don’t need to stick around to fight here, do you? You look like the kind of guy who’d rather do something worth your time.”

“That is right,” Kragg said with a nod, “my underboss is dead, anyhow. A few days away until things settle down would be great… for the right price.”

“You listen here,” said Adora heatedly, “you will take us to her, or-“

“Name it,” said Glimmer quickly, putting an arm in front of Adora. “No, in fact, I think I can make you a good offer. You said those knives weren’t sharp, right?”

“Yes,” said Kragg, “very strange. What use is a blunt knife?”

“Take us to her, and I’ll get you ten long, sharp knives, straight from the Brightmoon armoury.”

Kragg seemed to weigh his options for a moment.  
On the one hand, staying here and waiting for some thick-skulled fool to mistake him for an enemy. On the other hand, raking in a small fortune for tracking a close enough target that he’d already found once before.

“That is acceptable,” said the tracker, nodding.

“Good,” said Glimmer, nodding.

“Where did she go?” Adora demanded.

Kragg pointed toward a cliffy outcropping, a narrow path in between large rock formations.

“That way. She was wounded in her fight. Must be travelling slowly. Still, path splits in many places. She has a day ahead of us. We’ll travel faster.”

“Wait, she was wounded?” Adora all but shrieked. 

Kragg shrugged, a gesture somehow similar to rolling one’s eyes.  
“It was _Boss Puff Adder_ ,” he said, as if it was self-explanatory. “He hit her good once across the chest. Drew blood. Tried to wring her neck too, but that’s when his luck ran out. She was able to walk out, so it weren’t too bad.” 

“Oh no…” Adora groaned, shrinking down to Glimmer’s size as the form of She-Ra vanished.

“They just let her leave?” said Glimmer perplexedly.

Kragg laughed again.  
“Nobody _liked_ boss Adder. Respect his strength, yes, and the power and wealth he gave to us, but he was dangerous. Brutal. Unforgiving. Not the kind of boss many people want to avenge, especially not when they might end up in charge instead of him.”

“We have no time to waste then,” said Glimmer firmly, “we made a deal, tracker. Lead the way, and if you even think about betraying us…”

“Then I will have no steel. If you do not trust me, trust that I’ll want my reward.”

“Fair enough,” said Glimmer. “Let’s go, then.”

Led by the tracker they headed through the chaotic camp, down toward the way Catra had gone.

****************************

Catra had spent most of the previous day drifting in and out of a fevered sleep. She had vague memories of Freddie coming and going, of being given water once or twice. She had been plagued by bad dreams, fevered visions from the darkest parts of her life, both old and new. She had seen Adder staring down at her and felt her neck snap under his grip. She had seen Prime staring down at her, and felt the cold take her as her world went green. She had seen Shadow Weaver stare down at her, putting a wall between herself and Adora. She had relived all of that, woken up from the nightmares only to go back to sleep and relive it again. Which was why when she woke up the next morning, she almost welcomed the pain and soreness in her body. It was real, at least. Tangible. Easy to understand.  
Carefully, she tried sitting up. It took a good long while, and it hurt, but she managed. The three cuts on her chest had clotted up, forming nasty-looking red scabs. Her shoulder throbbed with pain, but her fingers responded. She made a fist then spread her fingers out, testing her hand. Little flashes of pain went through her arm as she did it, but she endured it.

She was still hot and sweaty, but the worst of the fever seemed to have passed. She reached for her bag, very slowly, and rifled through it.

No ration bars left. She had to have eaten some while she was sick. Freddie…

“Hey, Fred?” she murmured tiredly, looking around. “Freddie?” she said more insistently when he did not respond.

“Comin’” came Freddie’s voice, and she saw him walking toward her, the same way he had come before, with a full canteen of water. He looked cheery as ever, despite the situation they were in.  
“I filled it up,” he said proudly.

“That’s great,” she said, trying to force some enthusiasm into her voice. Two days till they reached the port. Just… two days.  
“Are you ready to go?”

“Are you?” said Freddie, giving her a surprised look. She had to have looked a mess.

She was tired, sick and injured. She wanted to just lie down and rest until it was all over. But that was not an option. They were running out of time now. Rationing that canteen, they might be able to make it two days’ worth of travel, but they had to get going. The longer they lingered, the longer they risked being found. This was still hostile territory. 

“No,” she groaned, standing up and breathing in sharply as pain shot through her chest, “but we still gotta go.”

She fumbled with her cloak, struggling to drape it around herself. She muttered a curse under her breath.

“Lemme help,” said Freddie, setting the canteen down. Nimbly he jumped down to where she stood, grabbed the cloak, and together they managed to put it over her shoulders. With Freddie’s help, Catra somehow managed to tie it in place around her neck. When she reached for the bag, Freddie grabbed it.

“You’re hurt,” he said, firmly. “I’ll carry it for you. Long as I can.”

“Fred…”

“It’s lighter now,” he insisted, “I can do it. If you’re gonna walk, you shouldn’t walk with a heavy bag on you.”

Too tired to argue, Catra just nodded.

“I…” said Freddie, ears slowly folding down, “I know they caught you ‘cos you was carrying me. I know it’s my fault you got hurt. So it’s the least I could do.”

“Hey,” said Catra sharply, taking a deep breath and pushing through her weariness. Slowly and with a grunt of pain she went down on one knee, and gently put her hand to his cheek. He flinched at her touch, but kept still.  
“None of it’s your fault,” she said firmly, looking him in the eye, “I _chose_ to take you this far. I could have left you behind, but I didn’t. It’s not my fault, and it’s not your fault either. I made a choice to take care of you, and I have. So whatever happens, don’t go thinking any of this is on you. You got that?”  
Her voice was shaky and hoarse, half a whisper, and she hoped it sounded reassuring. Freddie simply nodded, and wiped his nose on his sleeve, giving a little sniff.

“Y-yeah…” he muttered.

“So… yeah, let’s go,” Catra said awkwardly, slowly standing up, “we got a long way to go. We’re never going to see the castle or those forests if we just sit here, will we?”

“Yeah,” said Freddie, a little more firmly this time. “The forests. Where there’s lots of trees and little hidey-holes.”

“That’s right. And we’ll get there, sooner or later. We just have a little bit left to go before it gets easier. So come on, yeah?”  
She tried to sound encouraging, knowing that she probably sounded half dead. Aching every step of the way, Catra started walking.

***************************************

“Here.”

Tracker Kragg threw his hood back, jumping into a little crevice under a rockface jutting out above them. 

“You sure?” said Glimmer.

“Yes. Very sure. Have tracked things since I was a hatchling. If I say it is, it is.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Glimmer said with a sigh.

“What did you find?” said Adora, jumping down to join him.

“Catfolk laid here. Slept. Here is a little hair,” he said, and it astonished Glimmer that he had been able to pick that out, “and here, where the sand is coloured different? That is drying blood.”

“Blood?” said Adora, anxiousness written across her features.

“Still alive. If dying, there would be more blood. She rested here for a day, then started walking.”

“That’s good news,” said Glimmer, determined to keep the mood as bright as it could be under the circumstances. “How long ago?”

Kragg ran his scaly fingers across the sandy impression where he said she had rested, looking at it carefully.  
“Not long ago. Not even half a day. See the sand? The wind blows, even here. After a day, you would barely see the traces. Tracks are fresh. We are close. Catfolk is near.”

“Catra,” said Adora firmly, “her name is _Catra.”_

“Cat-ra,” said Kragg slowly, as if tasting the word.

“Let’s get going then, yeah?” said Glimmer, “This is great, isn’t it Adora? We were days behind when we started. We thought we’d never find her. Now look at us, only hours behind!”

Adora gave her a haunted look. Outside her She-Ra form now, she had started to get bags under her eyes. She had not slept well, if at all, and Glimmer wondered how she had managed to keep on marching so relentlessly day after day.  
“Yeah,” she murmured, nodding weakly, “great. We’ll find her soon.”

“Maybe,” said Kragg, and Glimmer wanted to scream at him for ruining the moment.  
“Terrain, difficult. Many rocks and crevices. Many different paths. Many places to lose the scent. This is good for a start, but it could take time to find her. Maybe two hours, maybe a day.”

“Then get started,” said Adora bluntly.

Kragg nodded, and started looking for the next clue. 

**************************

The terrain had started to level out. There were the odd trees here and there, breaking up a somewhat flatter ground. They were on the right track, at least. The terrain would be less difficult up here, easier the closer to the coast they got.  
Catra nearly tripped and fell over her own legs, for what felt like the umpteenth time so far. She wasn’t sure how long they had walked. Slow enough that Freddie hadn’t needed to rest yet. In fact, he was still carrying her bag, which meant either that they hadn’t gotten far, or that he was straining himself.

“You okay there, buddy?” she murmured, blinking. She had to try hard to look at him. The landscape around her looked blurry and so did he, unless she made a real effort of will to focus. She could feel tremors in her arm every now and then. This was better than being immobilized and feverish, but not by much.  
“You need me to carry that?”

“Nuh uh,” Freddie said, insistently shaking his head, “I got it. It ain’t too heavy.”

“You need a rest?”

“Nope.”

“Fred…” Catra said, forcing herself to focus. He was lying, she was sure of it.

“I mean… in a little bit,” he admitted sheepishly, “but I’m not gonna slow you down.”

“Fred, I’m not really walking that fast right now. I mean, look at me,” she said, tiredly gesturing at herself with a thumb, “I’m a mess. If anything, I’m slowing _you_ down.”

“No way,” Freddie said, shaking his head, “you could never be slower than me. Not even like this. You’re strong and you’re fast, Catra. You just need to rest up a bit.”

“In a bit,” Catra agreed. “But we’re not far now. Port Damalie… shame that’ll be the first city you see, Freddie. Most of them are better.”

“Why’s it bad?”

Catra shrugged.

“It’s really a lot like the wastes, except with more people. Full of folk that would cheat you or hurt you.”

“It’s weird. I don’t know what it’s like when people aren’t like that. I tried thinking about the world outside and what it’s like when people aren’t bad, but…”  
_But you have no idea what it’s like._

“I didn’t use to know any better either, and I turned out fine. You’ll learn,” Catra said reassuringly. “There are rules, like I told you about before, but you get to live in peace.”

“And nobody’s mean?”

“Sure they are. Life’s not _that_ sweet. You’ll always find people who are cruel. The difference is, they won’t kill you because they don’t like you. And they won’t steal from you. Well, most won’t…”

“Why’d they steal if they don’t need your stuff?”

Catra shrugged.  
“Sometimes, people are just bad. Even when things are nice. That’s life, unfortunately.”

Freddie nodded. That much made sense to him.  
“So what do I do if somebody’s mean? Or if they steal?”

“You don’t have to be nice to somebody who isn’t nice to you. Just don’t go overboard. These,” said Catra, holding her claws out, “are useful out here, but out there, they’re a last resort. We don’t ever use them on people unless we have to.”

“I guess,” said Freddie, looking at his own claws. “That’s another rule?”

“A really important one,” Catra said with a nod. 

Freddie fell quiet for a second, and then spoke up again.

“You killed him. Boss Adder.”

“Yup,” Catra murmured.

“I thought it looked awesome. I mean, I was really scared for you, but… well, it was…” He trailed off, but when he saw her expression, he quickly added,  
“But I remembered what you said. It’s bad, because it hurts you inside. So I shouldn’t be happy about it. I just… I just wanna say it was really good. Not ‘cause you killed him or anything, but…”

“Because we got out alive,” said Catra weakly, “yeah, I get that. You don’t have to be sorry about that. I’m not happy about killing him, but I _am_ happy we made it out. That I was able to protect you. We only do that if we have to, but if you _do_ have to, you do it without holding back. Because it matters. I’m… not sorry I did it. It mattered. I wish I didn’t have to do it, but I did. If you have to fight, that’s what you do.”

“But only if I got no other choice.”

“Yeah,” said Catra, nodding approvingly. “But you’re right, it does hurt. I had bad dreams all day yesterday.”

Freddie nodded sagely, as if he had understood. Somehow, Catra felt that maybe he had.

“You know what, Fred?” she said, “I think I could do with that rest now.”

“Well, if you need it,” said Freddie, sounding relieved. Catra smiled. He probably needed it at least as bad as she did.

*************************

It had been well over two hours now, and Glimmer was starting to realize that the quick fix they had hoped for when they found a tracker wasn’t going to happen. Kragg had done well enough so far, but the wastes were difficult to traverse, and they had been forced to backtrack more than once. 

“Flatter land,” Kragg had explained, as sparse with his words as ever, “lots of different ways to go. Not a lot of tracks. Wind blows it away.”

Tracking, it seemed, was half finding tracks and half educated guesses. But they were going somewhere. He had found hairs here and there, twice along the way, and Adora had been sure they were Catra’s. They weren’t being taken for a ride, at least.

For now, they rested. Adora had wanted to keep going, and it had taken all of Glimmer’s power of persuasion to make her reconsider pushing through the hottest hours of the day. 

“We’ll be there soon,” Glimmer said reassuringly. Adora simply nodded. She had retreated into herself almost completely, barely speaking a word since they had set out from the camp.

“She’ll be okay,” Glimmer said, unsure of what to do. Adora was not in a good place, and Glimmer had thought about giving her space, but she’d had plenty of space the whole trip and it hadn’t seemed to do her much good. “We’ll get to her soon, and then-“

“She’s not okay.”  
Adora’s tone was short, sharp and curt.

“I know-“

“She’s been hurt really bad, and that’s not even _thinking_ about what she’s had to go through. It’s not okay, Glimmer. It just isn’t.”

“Adora,” Glimmer said cautiously, “she has been through worse and still came out on top. Of course she’s not okay _now,_ but she’s strong. We’ll find her any minute now, and then we’ll all go back home.”

Adora turned to look at her, weary and weak.  
“I’m sorry I snapped,” she murmured, “it’s just- I mean, she’s-“

“She’s Catra,” said Glimmer understandingly, “she means the world to you. I’d be going out of my mind too. Just try and keep it together a little longer. We’re almost there.”

Adora nodded, brushing a messy strand of hair out of her face.  
“We’ll find her. Right?”

“Of course we will.”

“It’s just that if we don’t- if we can’t- I couldn’t even…”

“Hey,” Glimmer said, cutting her off, “we will find her, and we’ll go home. I can’t tell you not to worry, but you’re not going to start talking like that.”

Again, Adora nodded.  
“Thanks,” she said sincerely.

“What are friends for, huh?” said Glimmer, putting a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “We’ll get going again soon, and then it’ll work itself out.”

“Any minute now,” Adora murmured, staring into space.

“Any minute now,” Glimmer repeated firmly.

 _Any minute_ couldn’t come soon enough.

********************

She had dozed off. Freddie knew they were supposed to get moving, but it felt wrong to wake her. She needed to rest, and she looked… peaceful. Sitting opposite her, he just looked at her, shooting the odd glance around the landscape just in case.  
She had told him so many great stories, stories he’d never have believed in his wildest dreams. He had figured she probably wasn’t lying, since there was nothing in it for her, but he had still found it hard to believe. Great castles, flying ships, magic, She-Ra… it was all a lot to take her word on. 

Then he had seen her take on Boss Adder. For as far as Freddie could remember, which really wasn’t very long, _Puff Adder_ had been a whispered name, like a nightmare. The biggest, baddest boss in the wastes. The one all the other bosses were scared of. If the Crimson Wastes had a king it might as well have been him, as far as Freddie knew. He had only heard little bits here and there, listening in on local gangers, but what little he had heard had sounded terrifying.  
And he had been. He had looked just as terrible as Freddie had imagined, big and scary and dangerous, with so many underlings you couldn’t see the end of them. He had never seen so many people in one place before, now that he thought about it.

And Catra had fought him and killed him, and now he believed. All of it was real. If you could kill the biggest boss there ever was, then you had to be as good as your word. It felt hard to think that the tired, ragged, wounded person in front of him was the same that had ended Adder, but it was true. 

Well, he had helped. That… had been weird. He hadn’t _meant_ to do anything. He’d been scared stiff, just waiting for the worst to happen. Then he’d seen Adder lift her up, slowly choking her out, and then he’d suddenly run. It was like somebody else had taken control. He just… couldn’t let him do that.  
It was good, he decided. It had been scary and dangerous, but it was good. It was like Catra had said. Sometimes, you just had to fight.

He was looking at the one who had taken down Adder. And she was looking after him. The thought made him feel warm. Happy. All she needed to do was rest, and then they’d get going again. They’d go to the city place, and then they’d go to a boat and then they’d be at the castle place. And she’d show him the forests.  
Freddie smiled to himself.

*********************

“Did you find something?” said Glimmer, anxious about interrupting the tracker. He was squatted down, face near the ground, his tongue flicking in and out. 

“Hair. Fresh,” said Kragg, looking into the distance. “We will be there soon. She is walking toward the shores. Flat land. Fewer paths. More open land. If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to see her from afar.”

“Will we find her before it’s dark?” Adora said sharply. It was well into the evening now. A few more hours, and night would fall, making it impossible to keep going.

“Maybe,” said Kragg, shrugging. “But if we rest, she rests also.”

“It’s not safe out here,” said Adora firmly.

“She lived so far. Through Sand Snake territory, too.”

“We’re wasting time,” said Adora, and her tone made it clear the discussion was over, “lead the way. Find her.”

Kragg gave her an inscrutable look, then shrugged again. Wordlessly, he kept walking.

*************************************

Catra had woken up, irritated that she had dozed off. She was starting to get hungry, and the mouthful of water she had taken before resuming her walk hadn’t done much for her. She had soldiered on for what felt like forever. The sky was growing darker, so at least she could know it didn’t just _feel_ like hours.

“How you… doing, Fred?” she murmured. Her vision was blurring. Just a little longer. They had to… make the most of the day… while it still lasted.

“I’m fine,” said Freddie, sounding a little nervous, “Catra, I think you need to sit down and rest.”

“Soon,” muttered Catra, stubbornly trudging up the hill she had spent the last couple minutes climbing, step by step. She finally hit the top of the hill, and almost fell over as a spell of dizziness came over her. She leaned forward, supporting herself by putting her palms to her knees. She needed a break. She needed… 

“Hey, Catra! Look!”

Freddie’s excited cry cut through her weariness for a second. He was tugging eagerly at her arm, pointing to the distance. Forcing herself to focus, she stared off into the distance. There, she finally saw it. Far out, miles away, still barely visible on the horizon in the fading light of the evening, she could see the light colours of the rock the houses of Port Damalie were made of.

“We’re almost there!” Freddie said eagerly, “Catra, we made it through the wastes!”

“Yeah, kid,” she muttered, gently patting him on the head, “we… made it.”

Then the ground rushed up to meet her, and everything went dark.  
***************************

 _Flatter land_ didn’t really mean flat, which was something Glimmer had soon been made to realize. It meant no canyons, mesas, ridges or labyrinthine pathways through rocky grounds, but it did mean dunes, hills and the occasional rock formation. 

The tracker was on point, though. He seemed to know his way around the area, and they hadn’t needed to backtrack once since they last rested. Maybe, if they were lucky, they’d find her before dark. It would have to be soon, though. They had an hour, maybe two, before it would be dark-

“Look- look!”

Kragg, typically quiet, had barked out the words, pointing to a hill in the distance. Glimmer turned to look.

“Huh?” she said, peering into the distance, “I can’t see anything.”

“On the hill. Look there, just at the top.”

If she concentrated really, really hard, Glimmer could see a lump that might as well have been a rock at this distance. The light was fading, and in the gloom of twilight it was impossible to make any details out at a distance.  
Then there was a bright glow brightening the semi-dark, and Glimmer recognized She-Ra before she could even see her. A moment later, the giant warrior was leaping toward the hill at a pace neither of them could keep up with. 

“Come on,” Glimmer said to the tracker, “let’s make sure it’s the right one.”

Kragg did not argue, shrugging again.

**************************

Catra came to, cradled in a pair of strong, familiar arms. She had heard a voice calling to her from afar, like in a dream, and it had slowly woken her. 

“Catra? Catra? Catra, please talk to me.”

At first, Catra thought she was still dreaming. She wasn’t in pain anymore; she felt light as a feather. Being in Adora’s arms again, that… was exactly the kind of pleasant dream she would want.  
Then she realized that she hadn’t dreamed happy dreams for at least a week now, and slowly she started to wake up. 

“Catra? Come on!”

Her voice was pleading, and she sounded like she was on the verge of crying.

“There you are, dummy,” Catra muttered, “I’m okay. Been better, but-“

Her words were cut short as Adora hugged her tightly, and Catra felt tears staining her shirt.  
“Thank goodness,” Adora sniffed, and Catra felt her form shrink down a little, “I thought- I thought-“

“Hey,” said Catra, gently putting just enough space between them that she could look her in the eye, “I’m okay. I mean, I’ve been better, but… I’m here. Everything’s fine.”

Seeming overwhelmed, Adora just nodded. Deciding she needed a distraction, Catra said,  
“Help me stand up, will you?”

Adora stood up, pulling Catra to her feet. Catra nearly lost her balance, leaning on Adora’s shoulder.  
“Huh,” she said, realizing she wasn’t in pain, that it wasn’t just a dream, “you took care of… this,” she said, gesturing at her chest. “Thanks.”

“It’s a perk of being She-Ra’s girlfriend,” Adora sniffed, smiling through the tears. Well, if she was cracking jokes, she had to be doing okay.

“Alright,” said Glimmer, coming up the hill as they spoke, “yeah, that’s her. We got her, right?”

“Yeah,” said Adora, holding on to Catra like she was about to disappear into smoke, “yeah, we did.”

“I’ll be just a second,” said Glimmer, disappearing in a pink shimmer. Only then did Catra notice the lizardkin next to her.

“He- he’s one of them!” she said, tensing and pointing at the lizardfolk.

“It’s okay,” said Adora, gently putting herself in between Catra and the lizard, “he helped us find you. We made a deal.”

“Not enemies,” said Kragg, nodding. “Good bargain.”

Catra eased up just a little.  
“Some week this has been,” she muttered, “you really came all this way just to find me?”

“Of _course_ we did. I just- we’ll talk more about it later, okay?”

Glimmer reappeared a moment later, carrying what looked like a stack of knives. Catra blinked as she handed them to the lizardkin tracker, who inspected each one of them carefully. He nodded, bowed, and stepped back.

“Good bargain,” he said.

“Alright then,” said Glimmer, “let’s get goin-“

As she reached out to touch Catra and Adora, Catra slapped her hand away.

 _“Wait!”_ she cried, realizing what was wrong. In between Adora finally catching up and her exhaustion, she hadn’t thought about it, but…

“Where’s Freddie?!”

“Who?” said Glimmer confusedly.

“Catra…?” said Adora.

“Freddie,” said Catra, separating herself from Adora, “I found him, I- I took him all this way, and…”

She turned around to look. She had fallen right here. Freddie had been with her, and…

“Freddie?” she cried out, frantically looking around. Her legs failed her almost immediately, and she barely kept herself upright. Her wounds had been healed, but she was still exhausted.  
“Freddie?” she called, her voice getting louder, “Freddie? FRED? It’s safe, you can- you can come out!”

“Catra…” said Adora, kneeling by her side.

“Is she okay?” said Glimmer, sounding concerned.

“He was right here,” Catra murmured, “just now, I-“

“You’ve been through a lot,” said Adora understandingly, “I get it-“

 _“I’m not crazy!”_ Catra snapped, realizing as she said it that she wasn’t helping her cause.  
“I took him all the way from there to here, I carried him when I had to, he can’t just be-“

“Catra?”

The voice was meek, quiet, coming from behind a small dried-out bush. Somehow, despite her exhaustion, Catra found the energy to run toward it. There he was, hidden away. 

“I went to look for some place to sleep, I was gonna wake you but then I saw ‘em coming and-“

Catra caught him in a hug, and scooped him up into her arms. Surprised, Freddie hugged back. Holding him up with one arm, Catra turned to Adora and Glimmer, who had followed closely behind.

“Freddie,” she said, “meet She-Ra and boss Glimmer.”

***********************

There had been a lot of questions, and a lot to talk about, and ultimately Glimmer had decided that they could wait until they were back in Brightmoon. She had taken hold of Adora and Catra, Catra still holding on to Freddie, and in a flash they were back at the castle.  
Gently, Catra set Freddie down. The boy stared wide-eyed. They had landed in the council chamber, which wasn’t quite as grand as the throne room, but not by much. After a few seconds of taking his new surroundings in, he turned to Adora, who had put an arm around Catra. She seemed determined not to let go. 

“Are you really She-Ra?” he said.

“Yes,” Adora said, nodding happily, “not all the time, but I am.”

“Guess I’ll have to stand on my head,” said Freddie.

Adora gave Catra a quizzical look.

“It’s a bet,” Catra explained, “he didn’t believe me at first. But to be fair, it’s quite a story.”

“I’m sure it can wait till tomorrow,” said Adora. “I think you need to rest.”

“We _all_ do,” said Glimmer exasperatedly. “I’m going to bed. We can sort everything else out in the morning.”

“Sure, just… make sure he has a room,” Catra yawned. Still exhausted, she almost fell over for what felt like the umpteenth time. She was vaguely aware of being carried to their room by Adora, of being put down onto their bed, and then she fell into a long, deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are, Catra finally having been found! Freddie finally met She-Ra, and it turns out Catra wasn't lying to him after all. We're one chapter off from completion, all that's left is wrapping things up.


	9. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is crazy,” Catra murmured, almost to herself.
> 
> “It’s scary,” Adora admitted, “but… I don’t mind trying.”
> 
> Catra lay back, just thinking for a moment. Somewhere along the road, it had stopped being just about getting to safety. Somewhere, she had started caring. And now…  
> Now she had a chance to be everything Shadow Weaver hadn’t been. She had the chance to make someone’s life better. It would mean a lot of hard work, but she wanted it. And Adora… she wanted it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to start off by saying I'm profoundly happy about the reception I've gotten. I've never posted SPOP fan fiction before, and I was anxious about whether this idea would work or not, whether people would like it or not, but the reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. One reviewer said they looked forward to my update all week, and that just made my day. 
> 
> When I started writing this, it was just "what if Catra had to care for a child", and it grew into an adventure story on top of that. I'm really satisfied with what it wound up being, and very grateful to everyone who commented, left kudos or dropped a follow. Thanks, everyone! Now, for the finale...

Catra slowly came to, aching and sore. The sun was shining in over her bed, gently bringing her to consciousness. She felt worn and sluggish, even though she had to have slept for some time.  
Still. She was back in Brightmoon, in one piece. She had made it. She sat up, yawning. 

It was almost unbelievable. After all they’d gone through after all the close calls, after almost dying more times than she cared to count, she was home. She was safe.

She heard the door open and Adora came in, carrying a tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, yoghurt, sandwiches, an absolute wealth of breakfast foods.

”I heard you stirring, and figured you might want something to eat,” she said, gently setting down the tray next to Catra. Realizing just how hungry she was, Catra dug in, making short work of the eggs before moving on to a sandwich. Halfway through her massive breakfast, she realized that Adora was just sitting there next to her on their bed, arms rested on her knees, her eyes never leaving Catra.   
Catra slowed her chewing when she saw the tears in her eyes.

“Adora, are you… okay?” said Catra.

“No, I’m fine,” Adora said, dismissively waving a hand, “I just… don’t mind me. I’m just really happy you’re okay. You finish your breakfast.”

Despite her stomach still growling a little, Catra set the tray down on their nightstand, and put one hand on Adora’s.   
“I’m right here,” she said firmly, “I am okay.”

“Mhm,” Adora nodded, sniffing as her tears started to fall. Gently, Catra wrapped her arms around Adora, pulling her in close. Adora eased into the embrace, leaning into Catra’s chest as she cried. Catra kissed her forehead, holding her tightly.

“I was just so, so scared,” Adora whimpered, holding Catra so tight it almost hurt, “I thought- I thought- I don’t know what I would have done-“

“I’m sorry,” said Catra softly, a pang of guilt stabbing at her. She had been the one who insisted on going away, all on her own. “I didn’t mean to put you through this.”

“It’s not your fault,” Adora said weakly, “it’s _not your fault_. It’s just something that happens.”

“I should have been more careful,” muttered Catra, “I shouldn’t have left in the first place. I was just- I was being stupid, and I thought thinking about it by myself would help, you know? But it didn’t, I was _stupid_ and-“

“ _It’s not your fault,”_ said Adora fiercely, almost angrily.

“Alright,” said Catra, gently rubbing Adora’s back, “but I’m still sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry like this.”

“It’s okay,” Adora sniffed, “you’re home now. I was just… I kept it all to myself. A lot. Walking through the wastes with Glimmer, just thinking about the worst…”

Catra sighed, thinking about Adora walking all that way, afraid for her every step of the way…  
“Let it out now, then.”

And she did. Adora cried into her chest for a good few minutes, shaking in Catra’s arms. Catra just held her, kissing her forehead, patting her back. As she leaned into Adora, she realized just how much she had missed this too. She had been busy worrying about Freddie, about enemies and food and water, but underneath it she had missed Adora.  
After a while Adora calmed down, and Catra gently wiped her cheeks dry.

“Feeling better?” she said quietly.

Adora nodded.

“I’m sorry I left like that,” Catra muttered, “I know what it makes you think. But I’m here to stay, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” Adora said weakly, looking Catra in the eye. 

“And I’m not taking any trips any time soon either. And next time, I’m not going alone. I’m not going to take any stupid risks. I promise.”

“That- that’s good. Yeah,” Adora sniffed.

“To be honest…” said Catra, “I _could_ have been safe. I met with Huntara. She offered me a way out. A safe path.”

“So why didn’t you take it?”

“The kid,” Catra shrugged, “Huntara wouldn’t take him along. I… couldn’t just leave him. Figured I’d hike down to Port Damalie, and I didn’t really know I was walking right into a hornet’s nest.”

“What happened there, actually?” said Adora, sounding curious. “I mean… did you just stumble on him?”

“More or less. His mom… some raiders got her. He was all alone, and… I figured I’d take him along, let him come back with me to Bright Moon when Glimmer showed up the next day. And when that didn’t work out… well like I said, I couldn’t just leave him.”

“The bartender mentioned a kid. We just sort of… glossed over it. Didn’t sound like you.”

“It doesn’t,” Catra admitted, “I’m not good with kids.”

“Well, you could have fooled me. He’s been asking about you all day.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah. We put him up in a nice room, not far from here. He wanted to sleep next to you, actually. It took a lot of arguing. I don’t think he trusts us very much.”

“Well… he had a rough time. I don’t think he’s had anyone to trust before.”

Adora gave her a sincere look.  
“You really just took in an orphan and walked miles and miles across the wastes just to keep him safe, didn’t you?”

“I mean, if you put it like that…” Catra grumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“You have no idea how proud of you I am,” said Adora, gently placing a kiss on Catra’s cheek. Catra, flustered, muttered something incomprehensible. She managed to not look away, which was always something.

“I mean it. It’s… not what I expected. I mean, I’m not saying I would expect you to abandon a child, I’d never say that, but-“

“Adora, you’re rambling,” said Catra, smiling at her. “I get it. You can go back to talking about how I’m a hero now.”

“I don’t think I went _that_ far,” Adora chuckled, “but… something like that. You did the right thing.”

“Sheesh, you’re gonna make me blush,” Catra muttered.

“Too late for that,” Adora snorted, “you’re pretty red in the face. I should call you a hero more often. You’re really cute when you’re blushing.”

“Am not,” Catra protested, although without much conviction. 

“Are too,” Adora laughed. She gave her girlfriend a look, the kind of look that made Catra weak in the knees, and leaned in and kissed her.   
They stayed that way for a minute, just being close, touching, feeling each other. But when Adora’s hands started to wander, Catra gently took her by the wrist and pushed it aside.

“Later,” she said, giving Adora a smile, “I still have breakfast left, and I’m starving. Actually… it’s got to be past noon. How long was I out?”

“About sixteen hours.”

“That’s a lot even for me, huh?”

“I thought about waking you up, but I figured you needed the rest.”

“Mhm. Yeah, I did…”  
Catra sighed.

“What?” said Adora.

“You know, I really want to spend the day with you. Like, I really do.”

“But?”

“I promised Freddie something back in the wastes. It’s… I mean, it might sound stupid, but…”

“Just say it.”

“He’s never seen a forest before. I promised I’d show him. And um, you’re supposed to keep promises, right?”

“That’s not stupid at all,” said Adora, sitting up, her hand brushing over Catra’s, “tell you what, finish your breakfast and we’ll all go. It doesn’t need to be either or.”

“You’re sure? Because if you really want to, I’ll put it off.”

Adora shook her head.  
“I’m sure. I’d like to get to know him, anyway.”

********************************

Freddie paced. He’d been put in a large place, full of weird things. It was sort of like a cave, except everything was smooth and there was a door. There was a large window looking out, and the view was unbelievable. He had reeled back in shock when he took a close look for the first time and realized that the place was hundreds of feet up.

He’d tried the big sleeping place, but it had been too soft. He’d wound up taking the soft covers, made a little ball of them and curled up in a corner, where he had slept soundly.   
He’d made a fuss last night because they’d taken Catra. Boss Glimmer had told him to stay here, and after she promised he’d be able to see Catra tomorrow he’d reluctantly stayed in here, because she was a boss and you listened when bosses spoke. That was how the world worked. 

They’d given him new clothes. He still had Catra’s jacket- _his_ jacket- but they’d given him a shirt and some shorts, and they were nicer than anything he’d seen before. He’d been given food too, twice already, and it was way better than eating lizards. Catra had been right, this place did have lots of nice things.   
But even though the big place he was in was really nice, and even if his new clothes fit really well, and even though he wasn’t hungry, he was getting restless. It had been a long time since he woke up, and there had been no Catra. He’d tried walking outside the cave, but had got lost until a lady with a big stick had taken him back to the cave and told him to stay inside. 

So, there he had stayed. Bored, he had clawed at the big sleeping place, and found that it was actually really easy to scratch. He’d spent a good hour turning it into a scratching post.  
But the longer he was alone, the more he started to worry. What if Catra was still hurt? She-Ra- the She-Ra, which he was still wrapping his head around- had healed her, but what if she hadn’t done it right? What if it wasn’t enough?  
What if she wanted Catra for herself?  
What if Catra didn’t want him now that she was back?

He’d tried to shake those thoughts. She promised, and she hadn’t broken her promises. She had helped him so much. She wouldn’t just ditch him now. Right?

He’d practically reduced the big sleeping thing to splinters when there was a knock on the door. Freddie’s ears flattened, and he hid under the sleeping thing.

“Freddie?”

It was Catra’s voice, and suddenly his ears perked up, and he looked out from under his hiding place.

“Are you in there?”

“Yeah, sure!” he called out. The door opened as he crawled out, standing up.

“Huh. He… really went to work on that bed, eh?”  
It was She-Ra, except she wasn’t super tall anymore. That meant she was Adora.

“Who cares?” said Catra, stepping inside, “How you doing, buddy?”

“I’m okay,” said Freddie, walking toward her, “they put me in here. It’s nice I guess, but really boring.”  
He reached out with a hand, and she took it. Freddie’s heart beat a little faster, and he smiled.

“I hear you, Fred. This place is kind of dull, if you ask me. Too bright, too colourful. But hey, that’s what you get with princesses.”

“Catra, you live here,” Adora said. She sounded strange. She was talking to Catra like she said something wrong, but she was smiling. But Catra was smiling back, so it had to be alright.

“Yeah, don’t remind me,” Catra chuckled, “really, I only stay for the company.”

“Yeah you do,” said Adora, putting an arm around Catra’s waist. She turned to look at Freddie.

“We didn’t really get to introduce ourselves before, did we?”

“You’re Adora,” said Freddie, eager to show what he knew, “You’re Catra’s special friend.”

“Special friend, huh?” said Adora, shooting Catra a glance.

“Uh huh,” said Freddie, “the most important one. She talked about you a lot. I think she really likes you.”

“You hear that, Catra?” Adora sniggered, “He thinks you really like me.”

“Ugh, get over yourself,” Catra said, leaning into Adora. Freddie looked at them, confused. She did like her. Obviously. But she was talking like she didn’t. He decided it had to be some weird adult thing, and dropped it.

“Yeah. ‘Cause she went into space to get you from that really scary guy. Prime.”

“You told him the story?” said Adora, sounding surprised.

“Most of it,” said Catra, shrugging, “not… _all_ of it. It was a long walk.”

“I liked the parts where you turned into She-Ra,” said Freddie, grinning. “Could I see her again? Just like yesterday?”

“Um,” Adora began, but Catra stopped her.

“Fred,” she said gently, “She-Ra is like our claws. And what’s the rule with our claws?”

“We don’t use ‘em unless we wanna fight. Unless we have to fight.”

“That’s right,” said Catra, nodding approvingly, “so we’re not going to ask Adora that. Maybe later, if we’re lucky.”

“…yeah,” said Adora. “Something like that.”

“Anyway,” said Catra, “I promised to show you the forests, didn’t I?”

Immediately, Freddie lit up. He was finally going to get to see them!

“Yeah!”

“Adora will be coming too. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure. She’s your special friend.”

“She’s not as fast as we are, but we’ll let her catch up, yeah?”

Adora rolled her eyes, and Freddie grinned.

*****************************

Freddie made big eyes at the castle when they left, totally in awe at the size of it. He had a million questions about it- how tall was it? Did it touch the sky? Was it carved from a mountain? Who made it? Was it magic? Did all princesses live in one? Was this the biggest one?  
Catra patiently answered each question as well as she could, with Adora trying her best to help out. Neither of them were experts, though it didn’t seem to bother Freddie. But the excitement was nothing compared to when he saw the forest. He climbed the first tree he saw, and nearly fell out of it when he saw the treeline stretching as far as he could see. Catra, who had followed quickly behind, caught him and set him down on the ground.

“You can climb if you want,” she chided him, “but you have to have me with you. Remember that cliff?”

Embarrassedly, Freddie nodded.  
“Keep close,” said Catra, “you can explore, but don’t run any further than I can see. When we get a bit further in, I’ll climb the biggest tree with you, right to the top. Got it?”

“Got it!” Freddie said excitably, rushing off. He rummaged through bushes, chased bugs, broke off little sticks, drinking in the magic of the forest- magical in more than one way, Catra figured.

“What was that about the cliff?” said Adora.

“Lots of dangerous things happened. I’ll tell you all about it later, but… well, I warned him to be careful, he wasn’t, and there’s a reason I rushed right after him up that tree,” said Catra, shrugging.

“You were on point there, yeah,” said Adora, looking at the boy. He was scaring some birds, jumping after them as they flew into the canopy.  
“Actually… your claws.”

“What about them?”

“You retracted them. Doesn’t it hurt a little? You usually keep them out.”

“Oh,” said Catra, holding a hand up. “It’s a cat thing. Apparently, having your claws out means you’re ready to fight. So… since I told him we don’t fight unless we have to, I figured I should set the right example. And it doesn’t _hurt,_ really. It’s just a bit uncomfortable.”

“It must have been a hell of a week for you,” Adora said soberly, giving Catra an odd look.

“You can say that again.”

“It sounds like you taught him a lot.”

“His mom wasn’t very good to him, so… I dunno. I told him stuff that made sense. Some of it was really important for surviving. He was a bit difficult in the start, but he listened. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Is it weird?”

“No. Not at all. You did it right,” said Adora, her arm snaking around Catra’s waist again.

“I must be going soft,” Catra muttered. “Hey, Freddie! What’d I say about climbing trees?!”

Adora laughed as Catra hurried off to catch the boy before he got too far. She watched her climb up, grab him, and carry him down, scolding him for running off. Freddie seemed dejected at first, but quickly cheered up when he saw a butterfly. He chased after it, and Catra sighed exasperatedly.

“Kids,” she muttered as Adora caught up.

“They’re a lot of work.”

“You’re telling me,” Catra muttered, “you know, I was literally dangling off a cliff to keep him safe at one point.”

“You did _what_?”

“It was not my first choice. It was… we’ll talk about that later,” Catra said quickly.

“Yes, we will.”

“Uh. Point being. Yeah, it was a lot of work. But…”

“What are you going to do with him?” said Adora.

“Well… I guess…” Catra muttered. She hadn’t thought that far. Hadn’t _wanted_ to think that far.   
“I promised to set him up with a family. So… that’s what I’ll do.”

“He seems pretty attached to you.”

“Yeah, well,” Catra muttered with a scowl, “I mean, can you imagine me taking care of some kid?”

“Maybe I can.”

Catra muttered something unintelligible. Thankfully, she was cut off as Freddie called out to them.

“Catra, look!”

“What?” said Catra, walking toward him.

“I found a hidey-hole!” Freddie exclaimed proudly, peeking out from under a bush.

“Yeah?” said Catra, squatting by the bush. Freddie was burrowed into a little crevice, covered in dirt and green. His new clothes were already a mess.  
“Look at that,” she said, “nobody would ever find you here.”

“Unless I wanted ‘em to.”

“Yup,” said Catra, smiling. “But you know, I think we walked far enough. Let’s find a real big tree and climb it.”

For all of Catra’s concerns for the boy’s safety, Adora found it strange how easily she let him climb that tree. Its trunk was thick and its branches many, but it was tall. But Catra and Freddie, with their claws out- an exception to the rule, Adora assumed- scaled it with ease. She sighed and reached for her belt. Good thing she’d brought the grappling hook…

A couple of minutes later, she was well over a hundred feet up, just barely catching up to Catra and Freddie as she heaved herself up onto a thick branch.

“Took you long enough,” said Catra playfully.

“You’re slow, Adora!” Freddie said, just in case the message hadn’t hit home.

“Well, not all of us have claws,” said Adora, holding up a smooth, non-clawed hand to demonstrate, “some of us just have to make do with what they got. But you know what? I used to race with Catra, and sometimes, I won.”

“Only when I let you,” Catra said teasingly.

“That’s what you always said when I left you in the dust.”

“Because it’s true.”

“Maybe one of these days we should race out here. Just to set the record straight.”

“Good luck, princess,” Catra snorted.

“Anyway,” said Adora, looking down, “are you sure this is… safe? I know you wouldn’t fall, but…”

“I wouldn’t neither!” Freddie piped in.

“Sure you wouldn’t,” Catra said, rolling her eyes. “Listen up, kid- I’ll take you out here to climb again all you want, but you don’t go climbing something this tall on your own. That’s a rule. Got it?”

“…how tall can I climb on my own?” said Freddie slyly.

“We’ll figure that one out. But no climbing trees like this without me. Got that?”

“Alright, alright.” Freddie said.

“You’re not just saying that, are you?” said Adora.

“There’s rules,” said Freddie, shrugging. “Catra told me about ‘em. You can have nice stuff and people don’t try to kill you, but you gotta follow the rules. I want nice stuff, so I gotta do what she says.”

Adora looked impressed, but Catra rolled her eyes.

“He says that now, but he forgets about rules as soon as he sees something cool. Then it’s all running and me having to catch up.”

“I don’t! I mean… not _always_ ,” said Freddie defensively, and Catra laughed.

“Anyway,” she said, ruffling Freddie’s hair, “it isn’t totally safe, but… he’s like me. A cat person.”

“Magicat!” Freddie piped up.

“Yeah. That,” said Catra, nodding, “and I was always climbing things and learning my balance when I was little, so I think he should too. With me around.”

Adora nodded. That made enough sense.  
“What’s a Magicat though?” asked Adora.

“Us, apparently,” said Catra, “Freddie knows more than me.”

“Well, my mama used to tell me…” Freddie started eagerly. Sitting there in the tree, he laid out everything he’d told Catra. It wasn’t very much, but he made up for it with enthusiasm.  
They stayed in the forest until it started to get dark. They played hide-and-seek, explored, and Catra taught him about the animals of the wilds, which ones were harmless and which ones weren’t.

Adora watched Catra carefully the entire time. It was almost like she was a new person. No- not a new person. She knew Catra could be caring and sensitive to other people’s needs, but she had never seen her go this far for anyone except Adora herself before. It was like seeing a new aspect of her come to life. Adora loved it. 

They had supper together, which led to the minor disaster of introducing a knife and fork to Freddie, who found the concept ridiculous. Why would you use little bits of metal to eat stuff when you had perfectly good hands?  
A lot of negotiating, scolding and a thoroughly ruined shirt later, Catra had tucked him into bed. Adora lay in their bed with a smile on her face when Catra walked in, looking tired.

“It took a while, huh?” she said as Catra almost fell onto the bed, taking her shirt off.

“Mmmh,” Catra grumbled, “he wanted to sleep next to me. We did that in the wastes, for warmth and stuff. He seemed to like it. I had to tell him no several times.”

“But he agreed?”

“I’m taking him out to the forest tomorrow again,” Catra said with a grimace, “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“I also had to tell him a story.”

“You didn’t,” Adora chuckled.

“Don’t rub it in, dummy,” Catra muttered, laying down next to Adora. “I already told him the whole story of us, so… I had to make something up.”

“Now I’m curious. What story did you tell him?”

“Some bullshit about a brave Magicat knight who went out to save her blond, helpless girlfriend from a dragon. Turns out the dragon was susceptible to trickery, and the knight saved her girlfriend without the dragon even knowing.”

“A helpless blond girlfriend, huh?” Adora snorted.

“Very helpless. But pretty.”

They laughed together. It felt liberating. Calming. After all they’d been through, things felt… normal again.  
As they fell silent, Catra’s hand found Adora’s.

“Hey, Adora?” said Catra, sounding a little nervous.

“Yes?”

Catra swallowed.  
“I- I said some stupid stuff before I left. And um- I wasn’t fair to you at all. It was dumb. I…”

Adora squeezed her hand and rolled over, looking Catra in the eye.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“It’s just- I mean, I _didn’t even say goodbye,_ ” Catra said frustratedly, “and it wasn’t that I was mad or anything, I didn’t want to wake you- but I thought about how that had to make you feel, and how I was suddenly gone in the wastes, and how worried you had to be, all because of my stupid issues-“

“Hey,” Adora said sharply, “your issues are _not_ stupid. They’re not there for no reason. You’re working on them, you’re doing your best, and that’s all you need to do.”

“But what if I had-“ Catra choked on the words.

“You didn’t.” Adora said softly. “I was… I was _crazy_ worried, I’m not going to lie. But I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. It’s just life. You can’t predict it. You couldn’t know it was going to turn out this way.”

Catra looked her in the eye and fought back the tears. Adora being this understanding… she still felt like she didn’t deserve it.  
But she did. And one day, she’d feel like it too.

“Well, I guess I’ve got something to talk to Perfuma about next session,” she said, cracking a smile.

“Do you ever,” said Adora, smiling back. “But hey, if you hadn’t gone, Freddie would still be out there with no mom. I don’t think I want to think about a world where that happened.”

“…yeah,” said Catra, shuddering, “yeah, I… didn’t see that coming. At all. I just… sort of had to help. And I did.”  
She sounded proud, Adora noted. Good. She deserved to take some credit.

“So what are you going to do with him?” Adora asked. The question hit Catra like a sledgehammer, even if she knew it was coming, even if she knew it was inevitable.

“I… I promised him I’d find somebody to look after him. So… I guess I’ll do that,” she muttered, looking away.

“Catra?”

“Mhm?”

“You want to keep him, don’t you?”

Catra stiffened. Slowly, her eyes met Adora’s again.  
“I mean…” She took a long, deep breath.   
“Yeah. I kinda do.”

“I figured,” said Adora, nodding.

“I- I know it’s only been a week,” said Catra quickly, “and I know it’s not like getting a pet or whatever, and I know it’s not something we planned for, and I know I never asked you about this, I _know_ all of that, I just-“

“Catra?” said Adora gently, “Please, breathe.”

Catra nodded sheepishly, and took a long, deep breath.

“If you don’t want to,” said Catra quietly, “just say so. I wouldn’t hold it against you. It would be really unfair. You didn’t ask for this, and… I promise I wouldn’t.”

“What would you do if I said no?”

Catra sighed, turning over and staring up into the ceiling.  
“I’d find him somebody to look after him. Somewhere here in Brightmoon, or close by. I’d visit. I’d still try and teach him good stuff. _Useful_ stuff. He… he lived a hard life. Not exactly like I did, but still. There’s a lot of things about the way he’s lived that I get. That we get. Things other people might not. So… I want to be around.”

“Plus, I think he’d throw a fit if you weren’t,” said Adora with a chuckle.

“Yeah, that’s… that’s probably true,” Catra muttered, “I never thought I’d see the day when some kid actually liked me, but he does. And all I did was keep him safe.”

“And tell him stories. And give him hope. And teach him things. Those sort of sound like mom things to me.”

“Oh wow…” Catra muttered, “I’d be a _mom,_ wouldn’t I?”

“Yup.”

“I feel old just _saying_ it.”

“It has a nice ring to it, though. _Mom Catra.”_

“Stop teasing me like that,” Catra muttered, as Adora edged closer.

“I’m not, though. I think you could do it.”

Catra looked back at her, slowly.  
“Are you saying…?”

“I think maybe we could at least try it?”

“No,” said Catra, shaking her head, “I don’t think you just _try_ this. It’s not like wearing a new shirt. If we take him in and decide it isn’t working a month later… I want to do this right, or not at all. Commit from the start. So he knows.”

“Huh. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense,” said Adora, impressed. “Alright then?”

“…do you really mean that?” said Catra breathlessly. “Just like that?”

“I can’t say it isn’t sooner than I expected,” said Adora ponderously, “or that it’s the way I saw it happening. It’ll probably be harder this way. But… well, I always thought one day we’d have a family.”

“Are- are we even ready for something like that?”

“I don’t think anyone is.”

“But what if- what if I turn out like-“

“You won’t,” said Adora firmly, before Catra could speak the name, “do you think she would ever have done half the stuff you did?”

“…yeah,” Catra muttered, “I don’t know. I just worry. What if we screw up?”

“I think he’s better off with us than alone in the wastes. Hard to make it worse than _that_ ,” said Adora.

“…yeah. True. Um… are we going to be moms, then? Just like that?”

“If he wants us.”

“This is crazy,” Catra murmured, almost to herself.

“It’s scary,” Adora admitted, “but… I don’t mind trying.”

Catra lay back, just thinking for a moment. Somewhere along the road, it had stopped being just about getting to safety. Somewhere, she had started caring. And now…  
Now she had a chance to be everything Shadow Weaver hadn’t been. She had the chance to make someone’s life better. It would mean a lot of hard work, but she wanted it. And Adora… she wanted it too.

“Hey, Adora?” she muttered, after a slight pause.

“Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too.”

Catra leaned in and kissed her, softly. Soon, the rest of the world didn’t matter anymore, the both of them lost in each other’s arms. And this time when Adora’s hands started to wander, Catra did not pull back.

**********************

Freddie had slept in. He’d made a little fort, just like before, where he had slept comfortably. The big sleeping thing- a ‘bed’, they had called it- was still not to his liking. Maybe using it would be a rule. He hoped it wouldn’t be. He’d woken several times, twitching at the slightest sounds, because in the wastes you learned not to sleep too soundly. But the night had passed, and so had most of the morning, without any hint of danger.  
He was still trying to figure things out. Everything was real. He had believed Catra, sure, but this huge cave- the _castle-_ was real. The huge forest was real, and _amazing._ She-Ra was real. It’s like he was in some sort of dream where everything was nice, and he might wake up any moment with his angry old mama yelling at him to get up…  
He pinched himself just to check. He closed his eyes, opened them again, and everything was still there. 

There had to be a catch. Things didn’t turn out this good without a catch.

Before his thoughts could take a turn for the worse, there was a knock on the door. 

“Fred?”

It was Catra. Excitably, Freddie ran up and opened the door.

“Want to get breakfast, little man?” she said, smiling down at him. Freddie nodded. He was getting hungry.

They ate together in the kitchen- the place where you made food, Catra had explained, another weird rule- and Freddie scarfed down a plate of eggs and sausage, relishing every bite. Lizards? Who needed ‘em?  
But as he ate, he realized Catra and Adora were both quiet, watching him. They had finished before him, sitting there with knowing looks on their faces. When he was full, he set the plate down, cocking his head.

“What?” he said.

“We wanted to talk to you,” Adora said gently. 

An alarm went off in Freddie’s head. This was the catch, right? Catra was back home now, and she had important things to do. Big things. Boss things. She wouldn’t need him anymore. She’d leave him somewhere, all alone again.

“No talkin’,” he said hastily, “come on, let’s go to the forest instead. Like you promised. Right?”

“Freddie-“ Catra said, but he cut her off.

“You _promised,_ so let’s go. Right now!”

“Listen, dummy,” Catra said, sounding exasperated, “I promise we’re going to the forest as soon as we have a little talk. No matter what. Okay?”

Freddie calmed a little, taking a deep breath.

“For sure?”

“For sure,” Catra said with a nod.

“We talked last night,” said Adora, “a lot, actually. We agreed on something. And… well, you want to take this, Catra?”

“Freddie,” said Catra, edging closer to him on the kitchen bench, “you don’t have anybody to look after you right now. Not after your mama… died.”

“Uh huh,” said Freddie, a pit in his stomach. Where was this going? She said she’d find him somebody to take care of him. Had she already gotten someone?

“Adora and I talked, like she said, and… if you want, I’ll look after you. _We_ will look after you.”

Freddie blinked. Wait…

 _“Really?”_ he said excitably. “No lies?”

“No lies,” said Catra. “You’ll have to listen to Adora like you listen to me, and you have to follow the rules even if you don’t like them, but… yeah.” 

“And you’ll be my new mama?”

“…yeah,” said Catra awkwardly, “if you want to call me that. But you have to listen to Adora too, got that?”

“Yeah, sure,” Freddie said eagerly, “and the rules, and all that stuff. And we’ll go out into the forest again, every day?”

“Maybe not _every_ day. I still have to work, do grownup stuff. We’re not going to do things together all day long, every day, but I’ll make sure to look out for you.”

“And I’ll look out for you,” Freddie echoed. “And Adora,” he added hastily, giving her a look. Adora laughed.

“Yeah. Just like that,” Catra said, smiling.

It was unbelievable. It was everything he had ever wanted. It was… too good to be true, except _Catra never lied to him_ so it had to be true. Something welled up inside Freddie, his heart beating fast. It was too much to handle, too much all at once. He sniffed, tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Freddie, are- are you okay?” said Catra, quickly putting an arm on his shoulder. Freddie said nothing, leaning into her. Tentatively, and a little awkwardly, Catra wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her chest. They sat there like that for a little while, Catra rocking him, giving Adora a helpless look. Adora gave her an equally helpless smile, quietly shooting her a thumbs up. 

*******************

They spent the entire day in the forest, walking, wandering and exploring until Freddie was exhausted. They climbed trees again, spied wild animals from afar, and ate sandwiches they’d brought with them from the kitchen. When the sun was getting low in the sky, the three of them headed home, Freddie riding on Catra’s back. This time, it didn’t take much effort to put him to bed.

“You go on ahead,” said Catra to Adora as she gently closed the door to his room, “I’m going to go have a word with Glimmer.”

*********************

“So… you’re just adopting him?” said Glimmer, perplexed. “That had to be some week.”

“Sparkles, you have no idea,” said Catra, shaking her head with a tired smile. They were standing in the council chamber, where Catra had caught the queen just as she was finishing up her business for the day.

“You know it’s not-“

“Like getting a dog, or something you do as a spur of the moment thing, but a real commitment?”

“Since when are you a mind reader?” Glimmer snorted.

“Adora and I had a talk. We’re really doing it. We weren’t ready for it, but I don’t want anyone else to do it.”

Glimmer nodded.  
“So long as you take it seriously. Good for him.”

“He had a rough life. I want to give him something better, I guess. I’ll try my best, even if I screw up.”

Glimmer looked a little taken aback. Impressed, even?  
“That was some week, huh?” she reiterated. “You sound… different.”

“Maybe I am. Probably not _that_ different. I just had time to think. Actually… on that note, Sparkles?”

“Yes?”

“I think it’s about time I started taking that job you gave me more seriously. Training recruits didn’t seem all that interesting to me at first, but it beats doing nothing, and I know I can do it.”

Glimmer’s jaw dropped in mock shock.  
“Who are you, and what have you done with Catra?”

“Alright, alright,” Catra snorted, “fine, I guess I had that coming.”

“Seriously though,” said Glimmer, “I’d be happy to have you. It’s about time you did something other than just lie around. You’ve got too much talent to waste on that.”

“Well, I’ll try. Can’t promise it will work out, but I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask,” said Glimmer, grinning at her.

Catra extended a hand for her to shake, but Glimmer caught her in a bear hug. Catra protested at first, but soon stopped struggling and leaned into it.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Looking after other people, doing something positive for a change…

She would try. She’d probably mess up along the way, but that was life. And it was better to try and fail than to not try at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! We get our happy ending, after nine chapters of struggling, pining and suffering. And if there's interest, I might even write a sequel...


End file.
